Category Archives: Grief Educational

ALL I HAVE LEFT AFTER THE DEATH OF MY CHILD

My life was as gray as ashes for almost two decades. I devoted myself to my children and my parents. I coped by simply going through the motions for many years. I was alive but not really living, but my love kept my spirit going. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational, Healing and Hope | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

PAIN LEFT A HOLE

I have grappled with other forms of grief. I had surviving children with special needs, sick parents and currently I’m going through a divorce. When I remember that I’ve had worse pain with the death of my son in the past, it minimizes my feelings and doesn’t give me permission to feel. It may be true that the loss of a child is THE WORST. But no one can truly know another persons’ pain. I want you to heal. Your pain is unbearable. It is worse than anyone else’s because no one else loved your son as you did. I look forward to the day when you’ll know that having THE WORST pain is over. It won’t be as horrible. Hang in there. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

HANG ON – PART 1

It feels so dark; the sky is gray
Nothing to live for, you cannot pray
You have no hope; is this the end?
Just take my hand; I’ll be your friend Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 2

As far as the analogy to a “car wreck” goes, unfortunately deep grief wrecks lives. I believe there is a sense of unfairness to the loss of someone that didn’t get a chance to live a full life (and that includes an infant, stillbirth, and miscarriage). Everyone dies, but when it happens before someone even had a chance to experience a full life – perhaps that is where so much of the sadness lies. However, there is certainly grief with losing anyone, even someone older. I have grieved for other things in my life besides the death of my son. With autism, there is also the issue about unfairness for the additional hurdles in life. However, I never want my scars to define me. Coping with those scars were easier for me when I became less focused on why the accident happened and more focused on how I could compensate and adjust. Unfortunately, like a car wreck – accidents happen. And there are no seatbelts for grief either!
Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO EASE MY PAIN INSIDE

I decided that community support had made a huge difference for me. It wasn’t simply about my search to find someone to support me. It was about my wanting to help others with their grief; that was something that had actually helped me from the very beginning. That was why I had gone to help Lori when I was only in my second year of bereavement! This “club of bereaved parents” that I belong to might never have been one I planned on joining, but it certainly made my grief journey far less lonely for me.
Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 1

I really could describe my grief as an amputation of my soul. It was not visible, but it left scars that are there FOREVER. For me, healing is actually an appropriate word to apply to grief. Healing implies a wound, and with wounds there are scars.

There will sometimes be thoughtless remarks made by those who “don’t understand” what grief feels like. There will often be kind, compassionate gestures made by those who want to understand and to help. But in the end, grief is probably the loneliest journey a human faces when they lose someone they love. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

TO FACE WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS

I had looked for this folder before, but never found it. I did have a few, old Compassionate Friends newsletters which I had scanned for earlier posts. I glanced quickly at the pages; some were folded and others were written in pencil and marked over. There were photocopies and poems I recognized from a long time ago.
Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WHEN I REALIZED YOUR ABSENCE WAS REAL

Working through my grief allowed me to do something I never dreamed was possible. If I hadn’t experienced Jason’s death, my life would have been ordinary. I might never have written so many stories and songs as a result. With my own death, I would have left this earth without leaving a “mark.” Now I feel my life is truly meaningful. Jason definitely left his mark and will live on through my music and words. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WHAT IS LEFT SINCE YOU DIED

I feel like I always say the same things over and over in regards to grief. There are a few “truisms” for me, but generally those are not even my own ideas. They are truths that all the people grieving seem to know. It’s a “club” no one wants to belong to. And honestly, whoever buys the books will probably already know someone or be someone in it. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A DEEP, DARK EMPTINESS IS THERE

Does true empathy in grief exist? Empathy is a word that is very close to sympathy. I looked up the definition, and empathy means “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” So here is my truth (and my truth alone because grief is unique to every person): I have finally decided that my answer is a resounding no, since it was impossible for anyone to comprehend my level of pain after Jason died – even if they had also lost a child!
Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments