Tag Archives: divorce and separation

THIS FEELS SO WRONG

My post title is a line of lyrics from my song “The Unknown.” My song changed the direction of my life because it led me to divorce my husband after 31 years of marriage. Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’M READY – PART 2

When I started my blog, I had no idea where my journey would lead. But there was a moment when everything changed. It began with new song lyrics. My song “The Unknown” was so painful for me that I became physically ill. How was it possible that a song could actually change the direction of my life?
Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

FINDING MY VOICE – PART 2

For most of my life, I have suppressed most of my feelings. From the time I was young, I never felt safe expressing anger and preferred instead to shove it away deep inside. Also, since ending my marriage I have been numb with guilt. My inner voice encouraged me to sing because singing is actually a perfect metaphor for freeing myself. I could not achieve the vocal results I wanted, because I was afraid to sing loudly. It felt risky for me and I did not like to hear what I perceived as a harsh tone. It led to breathiness overall – I believed that it was prettier. Continue reading

Posted in Princess Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

MUSIC RESCUED MY SOUL

I felt painful thoughts buzzing like a swarm of bees in my mind. My song delicately erased the noise. Gradually, I felt myself soothed and imagined I was floating upon beautiful clouds. Once again . . .my music saved me. Continue reading

Posted in Princess Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

PAIN LEFT A HOLE

I have grappled with other forms of grief. I had surviving children with special needs, sick parents and currently I’m going through a divorce. When I remember that I’ve had worse pain with the death of my son in the past, it minimizes my feelings and doesn’t give me permission to feel. It may be true that the loss of a child is THE WORST. But no one can truly know another persons’ pain. I want you to heal. Your pain is unbearable. It is worse than anyone else’s because no one else loved your son as you did. I look forward to the day when you’ll know that having THE WORST pain is over. It won’t be as horrible. Hang in there. Continue reading

Posted in Grief Educational | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I OFTEN DREAMED OF WHAT COULD BE

There was a time when I felt that most of my life was over. I had nothing to look forward to. As the spray misted my face, I felt alive. Once again, I was seeing the world with youthful eyes.Life wasn’t over for me . . . it was just beginning. Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

CRYSTAL OCEANS – PART 2

I exited my stressful world and entered my magical world this past week. It is probably very funny to see a middle-aged woman wearing an iPod, swinging her fists like a conductor and dancing as she walks. That’s me. My big smile often causes people to stop and I hear them say, “What are you listening to?” Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WHEN I FIND PEACEFULNESS

Now that I had moved, I directed most of my energy toward solving issues related to “my new abode.” There were many things I needed to do and I tackled one thing at a time. It was very important for me to prepare myself for a possible art assignment. I was determined to somehow get back to finishing my audio book; I was so close to finalizing it! Most of all, I missed working on new song vocals and arrangements. But I could move on since I was finished with my cataract surgeries! Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

YOU HOLD ME UP SO I WON’T FALL

Moving was so exhausting that it left every part of my body sore. Originally, I thought my post and writing would revolve around the experience of sleeping in my parents’ bed. I still had the rapid heartbeat in the darkness. As I lay there, I felt the thumping begin to settle down. A warm calmness enveloped me. It was so quiet and peaceful. Finally, my heart slowed down and beat softly, instead of pounding. It was all clear now. I was home. Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

MY TRUE COMPANION

As a writer, my mood and how I see things is very much affected by when I write. To actually write about feelings as events occur is extremely touching for me. I have raw emotions that I am certain other people could relate to. Writing something later on is completely different, because I am more detached. But while things are happening, sharing is my way of expressing myself with complete honesty instead of holding it in. For such a long time, I did not share my true feelings with anyone. Continue reading

| Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment