My most recent musical pursuit has been creating meditation songs. I’ve been working on one for “In Every Smile” and can share an excerpt. My heart really soars with this one!
In Every Smile Meditation Excerpt
There’s no sugarcoating that travel seems daunting as I’ve gotten older. After breaking my ankle in 2019, I find myself a bit anxious about injuring myself again. Unfortunately, I have occasional stumbles and that doesn’t help my confidence.
It was knee pain that finally pushed me to seriously lose weight. I am now in a place of amazement that I’ve done it. I am closing in on a goal weight and feeling healthier than I have in years.
A little over a year ago, I traveled to Minnesota in early spring to see my daughter. Her excitement about that season was infectious and she couldn’t wait to show me gorgeous bluebells on one of our hikes. Because she had witnessed me breaking my ankle while hiking with her, I could tell she was watching my every step.
I can really see my weight loss, with this photo from last year.
My recent visit was on the cusp of summer. It was particularly sweet, even though the bluebells were gone. I appreciated the lush green surroundings in every direction. Where I live in Los Angeles, there just aren’t sweeping vistas and incredible skies.
I was glad that my flight had gone smoothly. On the first night of my visit, I went with my daughter to the restaurant where she works.
We enjoyed our dinner and I decided I was up to performing at her restaurant’s open mic. It was no coincidence that one of the 2 songs I played was “In Every Smile!”
My daughter was excited to take me kayaking, but we started out with another adventure on our first full day. I was curious and asked her if we could check out Mystery Cave State Park, which wasn’t too far away.
Once again, I was grateful that my knees were in good shape now, so I could climb all the stairways and ramps leading into the cave areas.
On my third day, we went on our kayak adventure in the late afternoon. It was my first time. I was amazed that it didn’t get dark until after 9 pm, so we still had plenty of daylight. After parking, we carefully brought each kayak down to the water’s edge and then she instructed me to get in and push off.
Once I was in the water, I was thrilled that paddling wasn’t too hard to figure out. It was serene and peaceful – the water was like green glass and there were so many beautiful details to observe. She even pointed out an eagle’s nest in a nearby tree.
We were out on the water for over an hour and then we headed back. My daughter complimented me on my stamina. The fact that she was so proud of me gave me goose bumps. I still had the strength to do something new and for a moment I almost forgot my age!
That was until we came back to the dock. I admit that I was pretty tired by then and looking forward to getting out of a cramped position. She got out of her kayak first.
Now it was my turn to get out, but I had no idea how I was going to do that. At home, I was able to get up off the floor by turning onto my knees and pushing myself up. This was fairly new since losing over 50 pounds. But with my knees straight out in front of me, turning over onto my knees wasn’t possible.
She looked worried and we both brainstormed. I felt helpless and embarrassed. Gone was my pride in this achievement. I kept shifting around and it was clear she wasn’t able to lift me out of that kayak.
Finally, I used arm strength to lift my tush up onto the side of the kayak. I groaned and precariously sat there until I could stand. I was incredibly relieved. Later on, my daughter had a long talk with me about how I needed to work on strength training to prevent this from happening again.
Life has a way of always teaching us things, and it happened for her a moment after that. While pushing the kayaks into the van, one of them bumped the windshield and cracked it. My daughter was devastated and inconsolable with worry.
We drove back in silence and she called it a day after that. She told me that she wouldn’t be good company and berated herself for not being more careful.
After doing research the next day, we found out that in Minnesota many insurance companies cover 100% of windshield replacement. My daughter checked and she had that coverage. It was a celebratory moment when the mobile repair was completed.
I was glad that this episode could be put behind her. I certainly wasn’t going to let it derail the magic of our time together.
The remainder of our visit flew by too quickly. We had wonderful shopping outings and restaurant meals. I was glad I could be active and also eat in a healthy way. On my last day, she dropped me off at a car rental location.
I had debated about adding a side trip, but decided to push through my apprehension and be brave. I wanted to visit an online friend that was enthused to meet me in Iowa. We would both drive about 3 hours to meet each other in Des Moines.
I picked up my vehicle and headed off. It was perfect for me to listen to my new meditation songs while driving. The ethereal notes uplifted me as I drove past endless farm landscapes. The countryside reminded me of agricultural backgrounds I had illustrated decades ago.
My friend, Erica, was a talented watercolorist that I had met in a Facebook Watercolor group. I mentored her and we had Zoom sessions where I shared Photoshop tips. I was honored to give her feedback on layouts, but I also valued her opinion for my artistic projects. When we first connected, Erica told me that she ordered my book “Beside Me Always” and reading it touched her deeply.
Erica sells a lot of her work on Etsy (clicking on this is a link)
I was always fascinated to learn about her life in Iowa. I loved hearing about her children, husband and even her chickens. Many times I called Erica a “pioneer woman,” because she did many home repairs, sewed clothing, was an amazing cook, and built her own chicken coop. And when a dog seriously injured one of her chickens, she was able to sew up the wound, too!
I brought mazes with me for Erica’s two children. Their names were the outline for the maze and I was excited to give it to them. Later on, they watched me draw a maze while we were waiting for dinner.
I was fine driving to an unknown city and finding the hotel where Erica and her family would be joining me the next morning.
I met Erica at the car rental drop off and hopped into her family van. She had lots of snacks ready and had even baked muffins to bring along from a healthy recipe that I’d shared with her. Our destination was Ledges State Park and I enjoyed the family banter in the car on the way there.
It was an hour away and I was enthused to get some exercise. I had bug spray, sunscreen and plenty of water in my backpack – I was ready! We arrived and I hopped out of the van.
The forest area was lush and a tiny trail led from the parking lot to the riverbank. But it wasn’t long before I realized that this might have been more than I could handle.
As I traversed the vines and lush foliage, her husband announced that there was poison ivy on either side of that trail. I looked at my bare legs and shivered for a moment – by now it was too late and there was nothing I could do but keep going.
I reached a steep muddy incline of about six feet. Erica’s two children had already scrambled down and were splashing in the water. Her husband was at the bottom and offered me a hand from below, but I was too far away to reach it.
Erica was behind me and I took her hand and tentatively stepped down on the muddy slope. And then my feet went out from under me. With a thump, I landed on my butt and slid all the way down.
Both of them looked worried, but I was fine. I was muddy, but I had done it. The adrenaline from that slide would definitely last me years!
From that point forward, I navigated the rocks and water with my wet tennis shoes. I had broken my ankle in 2019 while crossing a stream, and the paramedics had to carry me out in a wheelbarrow. I made a note not to tell my daughter about my butt slide, as she was with me when I had my ankle injury. It was very traumatic for us both.
Looking for critters in the river was exciting!
The hike wasn’t the only activity that day. Afterwards, I was able to experience hiking to an enormous trestle bridge with incredible views. It was a three mile walk and truly tested my endurance, especially with the humidity. It was no surprise that I lost 4 pounds on this trip. I was thankful that I did not get poison ivy and relieved that I safely made it through these adventures!
On our second day in Des Moines, it was raining. Going hiking the day before worked out well and our plan for this day was an indoor activity. We headed to the Des Moines science museum.
Being with Erica’s family was familiar, but also quite different from my current life. Time had taken me far way from those moments with tired and moaning children. Erica and her husband were wonderful parents – filled with love and patience.
At the museum, I wandered through the exhibits taking in her childrens’ excitement and curiosity. It wouldn’t have been that interesting without the accompaniment of enthused children.
However, at one point – Erica went looking for her daughter. She was anxious and I certainly understood. I told her I would wait at the same exhibit area, in case her daughter returned.
I sat down at a nearby table and suddenly noticed a blue butterfly illustration that was part of the exhibit. As I looked closer, it was unmistakably my own painting. I couldn’t believe it!
My artwork is sold on Getty and iStock – so that was how the museum had acquired it. But this was completely unexpected, for sure!
Erica came back with her daughter to where I was and I excitedly pointed out the butterfly. Her husband was impressed and looked it up on the Internet. An upload of the picture definitely showed me as the illustrator.
I marveled how if I hadn’t stopped and sat down at that table, I never would have seen my butterfly illustration.
And since Erica was a fellow artist, this was such a beautiful thing to share. Erica also had a painting of a blue Morpho. We both appreciated the nuances of their glowing aqua wings.
Our time ended with a Scrabble game back at the hotel before I headed back to LA. Her husband took our picture and I was so glad I had made the time to add on this side trip. The memories were unforgettable!
“In Every Smile” is a song that embraces smiles, laughter and love. It is how I want to be thought of – not simply after I’m gone, but in the present.
The memories from this trip were golden. My daughter and I are already planning for when I come back. I did promise her that I would practice getting better at exiting a kayak next time!
For lyrics, stories, links and other recordings: IN EVERY SMILE
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