Tag Archives: is happiness possible after losing a child

IT’S NOT FOREVER – PART 1

When my child died, I buried him and part of me died, too. I wanted to crawl into his coffin to be with him. The years that buried me are over now because I found a way to dig myself out. And when I did, I realized that Jason had never left me. Continue reading

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BYE, BYE, ZOMBIELAND – PART 2

Zombieland represented the many years I plodded through life in a way that was “deadened.” Even though I was healing when I wrote the first part of this story, I really had no idea what was ahead for me. Zombieland is very far behind me now because I completely turned my life around. I am alive! And very grateful for every minute of my life. Continue reading

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IN EVERY SMILE

Whenever I can make a difference in my childrens’ lives – it is like “living on.” Those lessons will always be there to remind them of my love, even when I’m not. Continue reading

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ONE DAY I’LL BE GONE

I loved what a friend of mine said about my new song. He said, “I think it’s great how you can write about something that many people think about, but are afraid to say.” Continue reading

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WITH ALL THIS PAIN, I CAN’T REMAIN – PART 2

Today is my “anniversary of the heart.” My son, Jason, died in 1992 and today he would have been 26 years old. He died at the age of five, so he never grows any older. Forever, he remains frozen in time for me. Continue reading

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ALL I HAVE LEFT AFTER THE DEATH OF MY CHILD

My life was as gray as ashes for almost two decades. I devoted myself to my children and my parents. I coped by simply going through the motions for many years. I was alive but not really living, but my love kept my spirit going. Continue reading

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MY LIFE BECAME CLEAR – PART 2

Our thoughts actually can be reframed. Instead of telling yourself you feel like 80, try telling yourself you feel like 40. Do nice things for yourself and watch how you will feel much younger. You could live many more years. No reason to waste your life because of fear. The unknown can’t be worse than the known. Continue reading

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IT ALL SEEMED SO REAL – PART 2

Yet even with joy, I still feel pain. I believe that experiencing pain is necessary and part of the full spectrum of being alive. I turn my pain into music and song lyrics; after that, my pain is diminished. Recently, when I have had to deal with the unrelenting stress of my parents’ decline, I simply listen to my music and then I am soaring. My passion for music has me dancing throughout my day, enraptured by the beautiful melodies that loop inside my mind whether I am physically listening or not. My music continues to lead me to magical places. Even my most painful songs allow for the heartache to actually flow out of me as I sing the lyrics and play my guitar. Continue reading

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MY LIFE BECAME CLEAR – PART 1

My life was silent and sad for decades. The beautiful music that fills my life with joy resulted from my clarity. I am so grateful for the gift I was given. That gift is my life. Continue reading

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BYE, BYE, ZOMBIELAND – PART 1

When the tears stopped for me, it was only because I could no longer remember my beloved child as clearly. So now there was actually a different form of sadness. I felt farther away from what I was holding onto so tightly. But there were definitely less tears! Continue reading

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