Tag Archives: men and women grieve differently

LAUGHTER AND TEARS – PART 3

My song “Laughter & Tears” heals me because it takes me away from analyzing my pain and focusing on the loss. Instead of judging my feelings and looking at mistakes, my lyrics are a way to view my former marriage in a beautiful way – I see it as a collage of memories. Continue reading

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LAUGHTER AND TEARS – PART 2

I’ve decided to go with “less perfect,” or perfectly adequate as a better way of looking at my singing. I may not be Streisand, but there’s no one else who can sing like Judy Unger. And I have my own music to sing, too. Thank you, god, for this beautiful healing gift that I was given.
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LAUGHTER AND TEARS – PART 1

My music is a form of expression that is not about creating a “hit” or contemporary song. I believe that all of my songs are a musical about my life. I do want them to be relatable, but my purpose is to express emotion with lyrics and music that connect to my soul. I have been slowly allowing another song to emerge from the “musical seeds” composed during my youth. I decided something could develop from a haunting, chord progression I composed when I was eighteen. The melody was far too high, and when I transposed the chords – I could see the song would work. Continue reading

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THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 2

As far as the analogy to a “car wreck” goes, unfortunately deep grief wrecks lives. I believe there is a sense of unfairness to the loss of someone that didn’t get a chance to live a full life (and that includes an infant, stillbirth, and miscarriage). Everyone dies, but when it happens before someone even had a chance to experience a full life – perhaps that is where so much of the sadness lies. However, there is certainly grief with losing anyone, even someone older. I have grieved for other things in my life besides the death of my son. With autism, there is also the issue about unfairness for the additional hurdles in life. However, I never want my scars to define me. Coping with those scars were easier for me when I became less focused on why the accident happened and more focused on how I could compensate and adjust. Unfortunately, like a car wreck – accidents happen. And there are no seatbelts for grief either!
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THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 1

I really could describe my grief as an amputation of my soul. It was not visible, but it left scars that are there FOREVER. For me, healing is actually an appropriate word to apply to grief. Healing implies a wound, and with wounds there are scars.

There will sometimes be thoughtless remarks made by those who “don’t understand” what grief feels like. There will often be kind, compassionate gestures made by those who want to understand and to help. But in the end, grief is probably the loneliest journey a human faces when they lose someone they love. Continue reading

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