Tag Archives: unresolved grief


I have written before that everyone handles his or her own grief differently. Now, I want to share my own personal beliefs about grief:
It is not recoverable; one adjusts to it.
Healing is possible, and maintaining hope of it can provide sustenance. But the process of healing is uncconscious and happens despite certainty that grief is endless.
Many, many people succumb to their grief.
Grieving is hard work and consumes one’s existence.
Although it is rare, it is possible to find joy again. But finding it is a conscious effort and requires giving oneself permission to be happy. Continue reading

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As far as the analogy to a “car wreck” goes, unfortunately deep grief wrecks lives. I believe there is a sense of unfairness to the loss of someone that didn’t get a chance to live a full life (and that includes an infant, stillbirth, and miscarriage). Everyone dies, but when it happens before someone even had a chance to experience a full life – perhaps that is where so much of the sadness lies. However, there is certainly grief with losing anyone, even someone older. I have grieved for other things in my life besides the death of my son. With autism, there is also the issue about unfairness for the additional hurdles in life. However, I never want my scars to define me. Coping with those scars were easier for me when I became less focused on why the accident happened and more focused on how I could compensate and adjust. Unfortunately, like a car wreck – accidents happen. And there are no seatbelts for grief either!
Continue reading

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