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When I am ready, perhaps you will be gone, but never gone from my heart. Wherever you are, I will know that you are waiting, listening and shining a light for me. Continue reading →
I know that soon you will leave me
how will I ever say goodbye?
there’s so much you’ve left me
I’ll try hard not to cry Continue reading →
Every time I sang the words “How will I ever say goodbye?” I felt tears fill my eyes. My son’s death was something I had not consciously anticipated, though he was sickly with his heart defect. What would it have been like to be with my child knowing he would soon die? I could not imagine! I wrote to a mother last night. She was anticipating that soon her daughter’s suffering would end and she would be entering the black hole of grief. Continue reading →
I have grappled with other forms of grief. I had surviving children with special needs, sick parents and currently I’m going through a divorce. When I remember that I’ve had worse pain with the death of my son in the past, it minimizes my feelings and doesn’t give me permission to feel. It may be true that the loss of a child is THE WORST. But no one can truly know another persons’ pain. I want you to heal. Your pain is unbearable. It is worse than anyone else’s because no one else loved your son as you did. I look forward to the day when you’ll know that having THE WORST pain is over. It won’t be as horrible. Hang in there. Continue reading →