Tag Archives: losing a mother

YOU’RE NOT THERE

This post is named “You’re Not There” because I am sharing a very touching music video created by the very talented Lukas Forchhammer. His manager sent this to me and I wondered if perhaps it was because I have a … Continue reading

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MEMORY OF LOVE – PART 3

The feelings brought up by this were familiar ones. I was never religious the way my mother wanted me to be and I felt badly that I disappointed her. The fact that she was gone didn’t change that.
Miriam held my hands and looked into my teary eyes and told me, “Judy, you were there for your mom while she was alive. Everyone at the nursing home was amazed by your love and devotion. Did you know they still remember you and always ask me how you are doing?” Continue reading

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MEMORY OF LOVE – PART 2

It took a lot of bravery to experience watching my mother decline. I have so many lovely memories. They are the ones that help me overcome my grief and sadness. Continue reading

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I CAN’T TELL YOU

At my last hypnotherapy session, I opened up to talk about the guilt I’ve carried for many years over disappointing my mother because I wasn’t an observant Jew like she was. Continue reading

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MY MOTHER, MY SONG

In Hebrew, my mother’s name Shirley means my song. My mother was an exquisite song in my life. She is a magnificent melody that I will continue humming until the day I die.
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ONE DAY, YOUR PAIN WILL GO AWAY – PART 2

I was so relieved that my mother’s suffering was finally over. Music was God’s gift to lift me up. Today, God was with my mother and me. Continue reading

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ONE DAY, YOUR PAIN WILL GO AWAY – PART 1

I had prayed my mother would die in her sleep. This was the same horror show I saw when my father died. Why, why, why? Why does a person have to suffer dying when there are such humane alternatives? Continue reading

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I SEARCHED FOR A SMILE

I bent close to my mother’s face. I clutched her hands and they were soft and warm. It was just the two of us. But we were not really alone. I felt the presence of death and so did my mother. I put my head against her cheek and she slowly mouthed a kiss upon me. I began to cry. Continue reading

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DANCE OF DEMENTIA, PART 2

I used to notice when my mother said things that were “off the wall.” Now I tend to find myself noticing statements of her awareness instead. I find myself saying, “Wow, she is still on the ball with that remark!”
And so it is, that more often than not, she is not “on the ball.”
My new, lyric rhymes might be:
She not “on the ball”
Her statements are “off the wall!”
I started this post-name as: “I Miss the Way You Used to Be.”
But the “dance of dementia” continues for me.
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MEMORY OF LOVE-PART 1

I drove home after recording my song. As I drove home, I listened to my song and cried.
Music and lyrics need to combine together like a marriage. When I heard the chords for one of my old songs – I new in my heart that fresh lyrics would bring it to life. I also knew exactly what I was going to write about.

At first, I felt sad to give up the beautiful lyrics that Cheryl had written for me. It was actually very difficult for me to sing her words without crying. Now these words are no different!
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