Tag Archives: dementia

HOW HARD IT IS JUST SAYING GOODBYE

Posted on June 3, 2012 by Judy

I have written that with Jason’s death, an opera played over and over in my mind. It is interesting how that has been happening with my father’s death. Although Jason’s opera had no melody or music, my song “Set You Free” continues to play over and over as I see the moment of my father’s death replayed throughout my day. I accept it and I understand that it is my mind’s way of trying to grasp the concept that my dad is physically gone forever. But in so many other ways, he is still with me. Hearing how much he touched other people has been very meaningful for me. Continue reading →

Tagged "sandwich generation", acoustic guitar, Aging Parents, composing, creativity, dad's death, death, dementia, father's death, father's illness, grief, GRIEF RELATED, healing music, IHOP, inspiration, International House of Pancakes, loss, loss of a father, loss of a parent, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, Memorial Plaque, memories of dad, Music, music and healing, original songs, saying goodbye, singing, spirituality | 1 Comment

I NEED TO SET YOU FREE

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Judy

So often my father had wept to me about how he looked forward to seeing Jason in heaven. With that thought, I began coaching him. Firmly and gently I said, “Dad, please do this. You can leave the prison of your body. You are not alone. Jason is waiting for you. You can give me a sign and a beautiful gift if you would just let yourself go. I watched as his breathing slowed; I held my breath. But he continued rattling. Over and over, I continued to beg him to go. I wished I could put a pillow over his face. Why was it like this? Why couldn’t he have died in his sleep on Monday morning? I left him with my heart pounding in that funny rhythm. I knew my heart would be calm when his stopped. Of that I was certain. Continue reading →

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SHE FOUND HER INSIGHT

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Judy

I could write pages and pages of my memories from beach outings with my mother. Throughout the day, I felt so much nostalgia remembering those times in my life. My mother was relaxed and sang blessings in Hebrew as we walked near the marina. Despite her advanced dementia, she appreciated the outing more than I anticipated. As I drove home, she slid down in her seat, and the seatbelt was barely holding her in. We arrived back at her nursing home. Just before taking her out of my car, I reached over to kiss her. I could see she was very tired; she had hardly rested as I drove home. I believe she didn’t want to miss a moment of time sitting next to me. As I kissed her, she said softly, “Thank you.” I wanted to be sure I heard her. So I said, “Mom, what are you thanking me for?” She answered clearly, “I had a wonderful time. Thank you.” Those were the clearest words she had spoken all day, and were exactly what I needed to hear. The beams of light that shone from my body could have illuminated a city at that moment. Continue reading →

Tagged "sandwich generation", acoustic guitar, Aging Parents, Art and Illustration, Caregiving, catheter, composing, creativity, dementia, Friendship, loss, lovesong, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, mother daughter relationship, mother's illness, Music, performing, singing, songwriting | 1 Comment

I KNEW I’D BE OKAY – PART 1

Posted on February 29, 2012 by Judy

I know there are many parallels between my children and my parents at this time in my life. I’m still definitely part of the “sandwich generation.” But lately, I’ve realized there are some differences. One of those differences came to the forefront last week, and filled me with sadness. I was sad because my children are spreading wings to fly, whereas my elderly father is fluttering slowly down to the ground. Continue reading →