Tag Archives: Caregiving

I NEED TO SET YOU FREE

Posted on May 23, 2012 by Judy

So often my father had wept to me about how he looked forward to seeing Jason in heaven. With that thought, I began coaching him. Firmly and gently I said, “Dad, please do this. You can leave the prison of your body. You are not alone. Jason is waiting for you. You can give me a sign and a beautiful gift if you would just let yourself go. I watched as his breathing slowed; I held my breath. But he continued rattling. Over and over, I continued to beg him to go. I wished I could put a pillow over his face. Why was it like this? Why couldn’t he have died in his sleep on Monday morning? I left him with my heart pounding in that funny rhythm. I knew my heart would be calm when his stopped. Of that I was certain. Continue reading →

Tagged "sandwich generation", acoustic guitar, Aging Parents, Caregiving, composing, dad's death, death, death of my dad, dementia, father's death, grief, GRIEF RELATED, guitar, Hypnotherapy, I long for you to hold me, I need to set you free, inspiration, Judy Unger, loss, loss of a father, loss of a parent, lovesong, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, mother's illness, Music, original songs, performing, Set you free, setting free, singing, songwriting, You're hanging on | 8 Comments

AS YOU LEAVE MY SIGHT

Posted on May 22, 2012 by Judy

Thanks so much for your loving message. Each medical situation I’ve faced has been so difficult and required a lot of consideration about what my parents’ wishes were. My mother was a fighter I was amazed how she pulled out of her ordeal on a respirator. Her broken hip was another situation altogether. My health is not good. Although I am emotional and clear about my feelings, my body is telling me things. I wish I knew what I could do to feel better. I am trying to do all those things. No word yet on the eye tests I had. This is on top of everything! But thankfully, I feel calm because of my music.
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Tagged "sandwich generation", acknowledging grief, acoustic guitar, Aging Parents, Caregiving, death, father's illness, grief, grief over losing a parent, GRIEF RELATED, inspiration, losing a father, loss, Music, original songs, singing, songwriting, voice lessons | 2 Comments

YOU CAN’T STAY AND SOON YOU’LL BE GONE

Posted on May 21, 2012 by Judy

This morning, my father was unable to wake up. Per his wishes, he was not taken to a hospital. I signed hospice papers. There is no way of knowing how much time is left. Since today was my father’s birthday, I would like to think he had the best party he could have imagined. My brothers and I spoke to him all morning at his bedside. I cannot imagine anything he would have loved more than that. I will continue to update you about all this and will write on my blog, as well.
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Tagged "sandwich generation", Aging Parents, Caregiving, composing, creativity, dealing with death, father's illness, grief, GRIEF RELATED, inspiration, loss | 1 Comment

SHE FOUND HER INSIGHT

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Judy

I could write pages and pages of my memories from beach outings with my mother. Throughout the day, I felt so much nostalgia remembering those times in my life. My mother was relaxed and sang blessings in Hebrew as we walked near the marina. Despite her advanced dementia, she appreciated the outing more than I anticipated. As I drove home, she slid down in her seat, and the seatbelt was barely holding her in. We arrived back at her nursing home. Just before taking her out of my car, I reached over to kiss her. I could see she was very tired; she had hardly rested as I drove home. I believe she didn’t want to miss a moment of time sitting next to me. As I kissed her, she said softly, “Thank you.” I wanted to be sure I heard her. So I said, “Mom, what are you thanking me for?” She answered clearly, “I had a wonderful time. Thank you.” Those were the clearest words she had spoken all day, and were exactly what I needed to hear. The beams of light that shone from my body could have illuminated a city at that moment. Continue reading →