myjourneysinsight

HOPE CAME WITH THE RAINBOW

Posted on October 22, 2018 by Judy

“Music is my passion and art is my profession.”

I’ve said that line above many times. My artwork has taken a backseat while I’ve pursued creating music that I love. Unfortunately, creating music has been rather expensive but there is nothing else I’d rather spend my money on.

This year was incredibly slow for me in terms of receiving custom illustration assignments. The fact that I was beginning to think about finding income from sources other than art had me puzzled. I decided not to give up on my art career. If anything, I’ve learned that when I did that in the past during slow times – I was wrong.

On my last post, I shared that my arranger, Robert Maule moved to New York. Before he left, he was nice enough to help me out in setting up equipment so I could record at home. Even though my apartment is far noisier than I’d like, I am certain this is a good thing in the long run. I want to have guitar and vocal recordings for each one of my songs. Last week I recorded number 38 and only have 13 more.

It wasn’t easy to be the guitarist and engineer for my first home recording. Though it was challenging, I did it! I’m very proud of myself. I figured out all of the inputs and outputs and managed to connect my audio interface and microphones. It took a lot of time and practice to get it right. After recording my guitar takes, I was exhilarated and exhausted!

I recorded my song “Rainbow Through My Tears” because it was such a perfect song for my life. It has been much better for me to cry and release my feelings than to walk around like a zombie holding everything in.

As I was setting up my Neumann TLM 103 Mic, It tipped out of my hands and landed on the floor with a resounding thump. I cried for a few minutes on my bed. Then I bent over, picked it up and screwed it back in. Thankfully, my recordings after that were fine.

Link to more about this song: RAINBOW THROUGH MY TEARS

I’m getting recordings that I like, but my challenge is to record when it’s quiet in my apartment – not easy!

I really loved the meditation music I created while working with Robert. I released a medley of our songs and it has been very popular on Insight Timer. I also combined my acoustic guitar and piano recordings from this year into another track that is getting played a lot on that app.

I was very sad when our collaboration ended. But my journey has taken me down a new path and I’ve chosen to embrace it. I am certain that more amazing music is ahead for me.

A month ago on a whim, I decided to play tennis at a tennis center near my home in the evening. Playing at night isn’t as easy for me as daytime because I can’t see the ball well. But it definitely is one of my favorite ways to exercise.

The people at this tennis drop-in were friendly and it was really good for me. During one of the breaks between sets, I chatted with a young man who was wearing a music shirt. His name was Bobby. I told him how much I liked his shirt, because I was a music lover. Before long, we were talking animatedly about our musical passions.

A week later when I saw him again, we chatted more and I realized he could be an excellent fit to create meditation music with me. He created movie and television scores and had incredible keyboard skills. He mentioned he had the program Omnisphere, which is a fabulous sound bank for meditation music. Even though Bobby had a day job (in music, which isn’t easy to come by), he was eager to work with me in the evenings.

After our first session, I was buoyed. Bobby was incredibly talented and we could definitely create beautiful meditation tracks together. But before doing that, I had a different agenda. I wanted to create meditative snippets to add to my Insight Timer Courses that I’ve been recording and refining.

We started out working on my song “Every Season.” Bobby was very sweet when he told me how much he appreciated my unusual chord progressions. I was gasping when he easily played the melody and chords on his keyboard. In only an hour, he created a lush ambient background for my Insight Timer Lesson, as well as an exquisite outtro for the ending.

Even though it’s still unfinished, it gives me chills. Once we finish our work enhancing my Insight Timer Courses, we will begin creating full-length meditation songs. I am hoping I will receive illustration assignments because it will allow me to finance all the music I am eager to create!

I close my eyes, and concentrate on dispelling worry and fear. I feel peace and gratitude as waves of hopefulness wash over me. Nothing is more beautiful for me than to continue following my dream. That is it; I don’t need anything else.

I see a rainbow!

Posted in Healing and Hope, Insight Timer | Tagged acoustic guitar, Art and Illustration, artist, composing, creativity, food artist, food illustration, fruit illustration, grief, Grief and Bereavement, guitar, having hope, healing from grief, healing music, hope, hope of healing, hopeful and optimistic, hopelessness, Insight Timer, inspiration, Judy Unger, love, maintaining hope, meditation music, Music, music and healing, optimism, original songs, performing, Rainbow through my tears, singing, song, song arrangement, songwriter, songwriting, The Workbook, uplifting music, writing | 7 Comments

HEAVENLY HEALING MEDITATION SONGS

Posted on October 6, 2018 by Judy

Today marks twenty-six years since my 5-year-old son Jason died. I will always miss him, but he lives on in my music.

Last week, I released a new meditation album named Heavenly Healing Meditation Songs. I am blessed to be healed.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/judy-unger/980739638

On this anniversary of the heart, I do feel blessed. I am healthy and inspired as I finish the creation of an audio course for Insight Timer named “Grief Healing Through Music.”

It’s been such a beautiful experience to verbally express my stories, lyrics and gentle healing suggestions. Connecting with my audience through this project is something I’m very much looking forward to once my course is live.

Last week, my daughter came over and took some pictures of me to use for the course profile picture. Somehow, I forgot to include my guitar. I just might do another photo shoot, but I haven’t decided yet.

Jason does live on. I end my brief post with an excerpt from my lesson for “Beside Me Always.”

With this lesson I’ve shared how the statement “beside me always” is very uplifting. I remember being overwhelmed by unrelenting grief and feeling my pain lift just with the thought of my loved one holding me. A distinct memory can bring my loved one into my heart. When I’m in deep despair, I’ll listen in my mind to hear their voice, guiding me with love. And when I feel so much love inside, my grief is soothed and my loneliness is eased.

Thoughts equal feelings and thoughts can affect outcomes. It has been far more helpful for me to picture myself healing, than to view an endless horizon of despair.

When you feel discouraged, perhaps you can imagine ways where your loved one is beside you, holding you up. Continue to try to find signs of healing.

When I read the words of “Beside Me Always” at Jason’s funeral, my words expressed how he was always beside me. In the beginning of my grief journey, I used to worry that I would forget him. My longing for his physical presence was like torture.

But when I healed, I realized that Jason never left me. He was always there.

All of my angels surround me. They don’t want me to suffer and they comfort me when my heart is open to them.

Posted in Healing and Hope, Insight Timer | Tagged acoustic guitar, creativity, grief, Grief and Bereavement, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, guitar, having hope, healing from grief, healing music, hope, hope of healing, hopeful and optimistic, hopelessness, Insight Timer, inspiration, Judy Unger, longing for love, loss, love, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, maintaining hope, meditation music, Music, music and healing, optimism, original songs, sadness, shining star, singing, song, song arrangement, songwriter, songwriting, uplifting music, writing | 6 Comments

MY SHINING STAR-PART 3

Posted on September 30, 2018 by Judy

Before my arranger, Robert Maule closed his studio in Burbank we took a picture together.

Links to lyrics and other stories about this song: MY SHINING STAR

This month holds many anniversaries of the heart for me. I am grateful for my healing and peacefulness. I remember my angels with love.

I am excited to share an excerpt of my latest meditation song: “My Shining Star.” My arranger, Robert did a wonderful piano performance on our last meditation song “Beside Me Always.” For this new one, we combined my guitar playing with piano. This excerpt leads to the climax of my song – I love it so much!

Robert and I created three beautiful meditation songs for Insight Timer this year. We began with “Angel in the Sky” followed by “Beside Me Always.” Two weeks ago, I released our third one “My Shining Star.”

“My Shining Star Meditation Song” can be heard as a single on Insight Timer (free app). A longer version named Heavenly Healing Meditation Songs will be released on IT next month. All of my music can be purchased on Bandcamp. Most of my songs are also available on iTunes.

At this time, I am creating a course for Insight Timer. Over the last six months, I wrote all of my material and I’ve finished recording the ten lessons. I am still mixing and editing, but it’s close to being released.

This has been a very personal endeavor. Unlike other courses on Insight Timer, I am not exactly “teaching” about grief. Grief is very personal and I want my lessons to offer comfort and convey hope. I will encourage anyone taking my course to find support by connecting and sharing their stories with other people.

I am eager to share with the world my insights about grief. Every one of my lessons is named for a song of mine that led to my healing. My favorite one is “My Shining Star. Below is the introduction to my course named “Grief Healing Through Music.”

I was truly reborn in 2010. Everything changed when I opened my heart to share honest feelings. I rediscovered the music from my youth and joy returned into my life.

I was baby when my journey began – it was definitely a rebirth! And like a child, I was bubbling over with enthusiasm and bursting to share my feelings with the world. It was very inappropriate for me to share email messages with everyone I knew. But I accept that it was part of my journey and my healing.

I have since grown up! All my filters have gradually returned. I am especially careful to write only about myself and not reveal much about my children whenever possible. I love writing on my blog, but I hardly post anymore because I haven’t felt like opening up as much.

Occasionally I’ve wondered – has the musical magic left me? It’s been awhile since I’ve written a new song. But with 52 song compositions, I have chosen to concentrate my energy on recording all of them.

I was very disappointed last month when I found out my current arranger, Robert, was closing his Los Angeles studio and moving to New York. I will miss working with him.

I’ve recorded a dozen acoustic songs with Robert, and his piano additions have been lovely. I use the instrumental versions to create meditation medleys for Insight Timer. A 45-minute version is coming out soon and I’ve named it “You Are My Wings Piano and Guitar Medley.”

I am proud of Robert for following his dream and moving away with courage to a big city like New York. His sensitivity toward grief was evident in the beautiful musical passages we worked on together. Losing his father when he was in his early 20’s impacted him greatly.

Releasing vocals takes courage for me. It’s usually hard for me to declare something to be finished, but I’ve done it. I’ve gathered all of my acoustic vocal recordings from this year and they are available on Bandcamp. There are also two new albums on iTunes. They are named: “You Are My Wings” and “Clear.”

It’s been a slow year for me as an illustrator. In order to follow my dream, I do need a source of income because my savings have dwindled. I’ve had to cut back on many things, including music. I struggle not to worry about it.

As I say goodbye to Robert, perhaps his timing was a good thing. I’ve decided to record at home and that will save me money. I have set up a recording studio in my tiny apartment. It will be interesting figuring out the best times to record amidst traffic noise and my 21-year-old son’s erratic schedule.

I fondly remember the many people who were part of my journey since 2010. Certain ones are forever in my heart. I can hear their voice in my mind and picture them beside me. Their influence moved me in beautiful directions; they are with me. I am grateful for what I’ve learned from all of them.

I plan to continue my musical journey even if I make a “career change.” Another idea of mine is to advertise my art skills again; it’s been many years since I’ve done that.

Even if I need to find another source of income besides illustration (I’ve also considered being a Lyft or Uber driver), I won’t let the musical magic in my life die. Pursuing my dream was never about making money. It was and still is about helping people heal as I share my heart.

As I finish my passionate project, the Insight Timer Course, I am confident that these grief/healing-related recordings are something I was meant to do. Everything I’ve learned in the past eight years has come together for me to create it.

Life is exciting and I am glad I could share on my blog what is going on with me. There’s much more going on related to my three adult children, but I’m not going to write about that!

These lovely comments on Insight Timer are definitely fuel for my journey!

Posted in Healing and Hope, Insight Timer | Tagged acoustic guitar, composing, creativity, grief, Grief and Bereavement, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, guitar, haunting melody, having hope, healing from grief, healing music, hope, hope of healing, hopeful and optimistic, hopelessness, I hear your voice, I'll hold onto our dream forever, in my heart, Insight Timer, inspiration, Judy Unger, longing for love, loss, loss of a mom, love, lovesong, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, maintaining hope, meditation music, Music, music and healing, my shining star, optimism, original songs, performing, projecting love, sadness, shining star, singing, song, song arrangement, songwriter, songwriting, the stars above, uplifting music, writing | 5 Comments

MISUNDERSTOOD-PART 2

Posted on July 16, 2018 by Judy

For lyrics and other recordings of my song: MISUNDERSTOOD

Since I left my marriage six years ago, my focus has been my children first, and then my music. That has continued.

Music makes my world magical. It lifts me over my stress and worries. It opens up my heart. Feelings buried in the depths of my mind erupt when I hear gorgeous melodies.

For almost a year now, I haven’t felt as connected to my blog. I’ve continued to wait for inspiration to write something profound and touching. Sharing my heart has helped me in the past but I cannot share my heart completely now because so much of what I go through involves other people and their lives.

So I have been quietly writing about other things.

I’m currently creating a workshop for the app Insight Timer on the topic of grief, music and healing. There are ten lessons and for each one I discuss the lyrics to one of my grief-related songs.

I have created three new meditation songs so far this year, and am currently working on my fourth one. I continue to record guitar and vocals for my “deck” of 52 acoustic songs. Currently, I am on number 32.

My lyrics in progress are always very revealing. I share my lyric drafts even with areas of words scratched out.

A few weeks ago I began recording my song “Misunderstood.”

Every acoustic song of mine has two or more tracks of guitar parts. For “Misunderstood” I decided to add some strumming, which is very new. I like trying new things!

Misunderstood Guitar Mix

My current arranger, Robert, played a lovely piano addition to my guitar tracks. It is quite beautiful and hearing my song this way is very uplifting. The process of creating piano is something I’m very much a part of because I edit and chose the notes from many different takes. I enjoy doing that a lot. I’m planning to create a medley of my latest guitar and piano songs to put on Insight Timer in the near future.

Misunderstood Guitar & Piano

The lyrics to my songs speak to me. I have found great wisdom through my own lyrics. Even though I wrote them, I often discover subtle new meanings that I never intended. It’s fascinating when that happens.

It was no coincidence that I chose to record “Misunderstood.” I was feeling very emotional because my child had disclosed something to me that was terribly upsetting. I cannot write about it, but for several weeks I found myself crying and attempting to hold myself together.

Worry and fear are very contracted energies. In an attempt to dispel my anguish I spun different ways to look at the situation. My biggest method of coping has been love. I love my child deeply and I also try to extend a lot of love and compassion to myself.

I was recording vocals for “Misunderstood” last week and Robert stopped me. He felt my emotional vibe for the song wasn’t working well, but he wasn’t sure why. This song was so different from my other songs. Regret was such a hopeless emotion.

Misunderstood Acoustic 7-20-18

I wondered if perhaps I sounded too angry or forlorn. I took a deep breath and remembered how important self-compassion was for healing and coping. I thought of my parents and how much I missed them. I wondered what they would have thought about the upsetting information my child shared with me.

I began singing again and then the revelation shook me. I wasn’t singing this song to my child. It was a song to me.

“The walls you’ve build protect you now, I want to tear them down somehow”

I remembered four years earlier when I composed “Misunderstood” that I related to that line in an interesting way. I was very heavy and needed to lose a lot of weight. Overeating was a wall of protection. It was a way to numb my feelings and distract myself from the truth.

Now three years later, I felt stressed and had started gaining weight again. I maintained most of my weight loss overall, but I hated this recent feeling of heaviness.

With a more gentle mindset, I adjusted my headphones and closed my eyes. I felt the emotion and vulnerability pour from me as I sang.

“You won’t forgive me for that argument. Those words you heard – I never meant.”

“Misunderstood, left with regret. Painful words you can’t forget”

As I sang my song to myself, I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself for those painful words spoken to my child 4 years earlier. I was the one with the inability to let go.

There was no misunderstanding now.

I understood.