myjourneysinsight

MY SHINING STAR-PART 3

Posted on September 30, 2018 by Judy

Before my arranger, Robert Maule closed his studio in Burbank we took a picture together.

Links to lyrics and other stories about this song: MY SHINING STAR

This month holds many anniversaries of the heart for me. I am grateful for my healing and peacefulness. I remember my angels with love.

I am excited to share an excerpt of my latest meditation song: “My Shining Star.” My arranger, Robert did a wonderful piano performance on our last meditation song “Beside Me Always.” For this new one, we combined my guitar playing with piano. This excerpt leads to the climax of my song – I love it so much!

Robert and I created three beautiful meditation songs for Insight Timer this year. We began with “Angel in the Sky” followed by “Beside Me Always.” Two weeks ago, I released our third one “My Shining Star.”

“My Shining Star Meditation Song” can be heard as a single on Insight Timer (free app). A longer version named Heavenly Healing Meditation Songs will be released on IT next month. All of my music can be purchased on Bandcamp. Most of my songs are also available on iTunes.

At this time, I am creating a course for Insight Timer. Over the last six months, I wrote all of my material and I’ve finished recording the ten lessons. I am still mixing and editing, but it’s close to being released.

This has been a very personal endeavor. Unlike other courses on Insight Timer, I am not exactly “teaching” about grief. Grief is very personal and I want my lessons to offer comfort and convey hope. I will encourage anyone taking my course to find support by connecting and sharing their stories with other people.

I am eager to share with the world my insights about grief. Every one of my lessons is named for a song of mine that led to my healing. My favorite one is “My Shining Star. Below is the introduction to my course named “Grief Healing Through Music.”

I was truly reborn in 2010. Everything changed when I opened my heart to share honest feelings. I rediscovered the music from my youth and joy returned into my life.

I was baby when my journey began – it was definitely a rebirth! And like a child, I was bubbling over with enthusiasm and bursting to share my feelings with the world. It was very inappropriate for me to share email messages with everyone I knew. But I accept that it was part of my journey and my healing.

I have since grown up! All my filters have gradually returned. I am especially careful to write only about myself and not reveal much about my children whenever possible. I love writing on my blog, but I hardly post anymore because I haven’t felt like opening up as much.

Occasionally I’ve wondered – has the musical magic left me? It’s been awhile since I’ve written a new song. But with 52 song compositions, I have chosen to concentrate my energy on recording all of them.

I was very disappointed last month when I found out my current arranger, Robert, was closing his Los Angeles studio and moving to New York. I will miss working with him.

I’ve recorded a dozen acoustic songs with Robert, and his piano additions have been lovely. I use the instrumental versions to create meditation medleys for Insight Timer. A 45-minute version is coming out soon and I’ve named it “You Are My Wings Piano and Guitar Medley.”

I am proud of Robert for following his dream and moving away with courage to a big city like New York. His sensitivity toward grief was evident in the beautiful musical passages we worked on together. Losing his father when he was in his early 20’s impacted him greatly.

Releasing vocals takes courage for me. It’s usually hard for me to declare something to be finished, but I’ve done it. I’ve gathered all of my acoustic vocal recordings from this year and they are available on Bandcamp. There are also two new albums on iTunes. They are named: “You Are My Wings” and “Clear.”

It’s been a slow year for me as an illustrator. In order to follow my dream, I do need a source of income because my savings have dwindled. I’ve had to cut back on many things, including music. I struggle not to worry about it.

As I say goodbye to Robert, perhaps his timing was a good thing. I’ve decided to record at home and that will save me money. I have set up a recording studio in my tiny apartment. It will be interesting figuring out the best times to record amidst traffic noise and my 21-year-old son’s erratic schedule.

I fondly remember the many people who were part of my journey since 2010. Certain ones are forever in my heart. I can hear their voice in my mind and picture them beside me. Their influence moved me in beautiful directions; they are with me. I am grateful for what I’ve learned from all of them.

I plan to continue my musical journey even if I make a “career change.” Another idea of mine is to advertise my art skills again; it’s been many years since I’ve done that.

Even if I need to find another source of income besides illustration (I’ve also considered being a Lyft or Uber driver), I won’t let the musical magic in my life die. Pursuing my dream was never about making money. It was and still is about helping people heal as I share my heart.

As I finish my passionate project, the Insight Timer Course, I am confident that these grief/healing-related recordings are something I was meant to do. Everything I’ve learned in the past eight years has come together for me to create it.

Life is exciting and I am glad I could share on my blog what is going on with me. There’s much more going on related to my three adult children, but I’m not going to write about that!

These lovely comments on Insight Timer are definitely fuel for my journey!

Posted in Healing and Hope, Insight Timer | Tagged acoustic guitar, composing, creativity, grief, Grief and Bereavement, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, guitar, haunting melody, having hope, healing from grief, healing music, hope, hope of healing, hopeful and optimistic, hopelessness, I hear your voice, I'll hold onto our dream forever, in my heart, Insight Timer, inspiration, Judy Unger, longing for love, loss, loss of a mom, love, lovesong, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, maintaining hope, meditation music, Music, music and healing, my shining star, optimism, original songs, performing, projecting love, sadness, shining star, singing, song, song arrangement, songwriter, songwriting, the stars above, uplifting music, writing | 5 Comments

MISUNDERSTOOD-PART 2

Posted on July 16, 2018 by Judy

For lyrics and other recordings of my song: MISUNDERSTOOD

Since I left my marriage six years ago, my focus has been my children first, and then my music. That has continued.

Music makes my world magical. It lifts me over my stress and worries. It opens up my heart. Feelings buried in the depths of my mind erupt when I hear gorgeous melodies.

For almost a year now, I haven’t felt as connected to my blog. I’ve continued to wait for inspiration to write something profound and touching. Sharing my heart has helped me in the past but I cannot share my heart completely now because so much of what I go through involves other people and their lives.

So I have been quietly writing about other things.

I’m currently creating a workshop for the app Insight Timer on the topic of grief, music and healing. There are ten lessons and for each one I discuss the lyrics to one of my grief-related songs.

I have created three new meditation songs so far this year, and am currently working on my fourth one. I continue to record guitar and vocals for my “deck” of 52 acoustic songs. Currently, I am on number 32.

My lyrics in progress are always very revealing. I share my lyric drafts even with areas of words scratched out.

A few weeks ago I began recording my song “Misunderstood.”

Every acoustic song of mine has two or more tracks of guitar parts. For “Misunderstood” I decided to add some strumming, which is very new. I like trying new things!

Misunderstood Guitar Mix

My current arranger, Robert, played a lovely piano addition to my guitar tracks. It is quite beautiful and hearing my song this way is very uplifting. The process of creating piano is something I’m very much a part of because I edit and chose the notes from many different takes. I enjoy doing that a lot. I’m planning to create a medley of my latest guitar and piano songs to put on Insight Timer in the near future.

Misunderstood Guitar & Piano

The lyrics to my songs speak to me. I have found great wisdom through my own lyrics. Even though I wrote them, I often discover subtle new meanings that I never intended. It’s fascinating when that happens.

It was no coincidence that I chose to record “Misunderstood.” I was feeling very emotional because my child had disclosed something to me that was terribly upsetting. I cannot write about it, but for several weeks I found myself crying and attempting to hold myself together.

Worry and fear are very contracted energies. In an attempt to dispel my anguish I spun different ways to look at the situation. My biggest method of coping has been love. I love my child deeply and I also try to extend a lot of love and compassion to myself.

I was recording vocals for “Misunderstood” last week and Robert stopped me. He felt my emotional vibe for the song wasn’t working well, but he wasn’t sure why. This song was so different from my other songs. Regret was such a hopeless emotion.

Misunderstood Acoustic 7-20-18

I wondered if perhaps I sounded too angry or forlorn. I took a deep breath and remembered how important self-compassion was for healing and coping. I thought of my parents and how much I missed them. I wondered what they would have thought about the upsetting information my child shared with me.

I began singing again and then the revelation shook me. I wasn’t singing this song to my child. It was a song to me.

“The walls you’ve build protect you now, I want to tear them down somehow”

I remembered four years earlier when I composed “Misunderstood” that I related to that line in an interesting way. I was very heavy and needed to lose a lot of weight. Overeating was a wall of protection. It was a way to numb my feelings and distract myself from the truth.

Now three years later, I felt stressed and had started gaining weight again. I maintained most of my weight loss overall, but I hated this recent feeling of heaviness.

With a more gentle mindset, I adjusted my headphones and closed my eyes. I felt the emotion and vulnerability pour from me as I sang.

“You won’t forgive me for that argument. Those words you heard – I never meant.”

“Misunderstood, left with regret. Painful words you can’t forget”

As I sang my song to myself, I realized I hadn’t forgiven myself for those painful words spoken to my child 4 years earlier. I was the one with the inability to let go.

There was no misunderstanding now.

I understood.

Tagged acoustic guitar, an argument, arranging music, artist, beautiful music, composing, creativity, escape through music, forgiveness, guitar, healing music, hopeful and optimistic, inspiration, Judy Unger, left misunderstood, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, misunderstanding, misunderstood, Music, music and inspiration, musical comfort, musical inspiration, optimism, original songs, passionate songwriter, regret, self-compassion, singing, song lyrics, songwriting, too hurt to move on, trust is gone, words I never meant, writing, you won't forgive me | 9 Comments

Beside Me Always – Now Available On Audible!

Posted on May 31, 2018 by Judy

This gallery contains 4 photos.

Originally posted on Susan Hanfield:
I am excited to celebrate with Judy Unger the audiobook release of her poignant memoir Beside Me Always recorded at Studio City Sound and produced by Punch Audio. I met Judy a year prior to…

More Galleries | Tagged beautiful music, Beside Me Always, compassionate friends, coping with grief, death, death of a child, discouraged about healing, grief, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, healing from grief, healing music, hope, hope for healing, hope of healing, Insight Timer, inspiration, Judy Unger, meditation music, music and healing, optimism, singing, songwriting, staying positive | 2 Comments

YOU’RE BESIDE ME

Posted on May 12, 2018 by Judy

Susan Hanfield did an incredible job recording my audio book. My book is now available on Audible!

For thirty years I didn’t write. But In 2010, I opened up my heart completely and my journey of insight began. The material that poured forth on my blog became the script for my book.

I dreamed of releasing an audio book for over eight years. I recorded it myself four times and learned a great deal about recording from that. I hesitate to even think about how many hours I spent working on my passionate project.

I always envisioned my book as an audio book because I loved the idea of adding audio clips to enhance the story. Those clips weren’t actually used in the final rendition, but I added them as out-takes at the end of the book.

In 2015, I met with the publisher of Punch Audio to see if he could distribute my most recent book recording. His name was Alex and his feedback was that I didn’t have a trained speaking voice to carry my material. He said that authors rarely speak their story well and instead recommended I have it professionally recorded.

His suggestion was to listen to one of Susan Hanfield’s audiobooks. I did, and set up another appointment with Alex. When I came to the recording studio, Alex introduced me to Susan who was there recording another book. We immediately hit it off.

I confessed to Susan that I was anxious about having someone else read my story. She completely understood and a few months later generously recorded a 10-minute sample of one of my stories.

When I began to listen to her sample I was nervous. But then I became emotional and realized what a beautiful voice she had to tell my story.

It took another two years after that before my project moved forward. I decided that I wanted to improve my book. My close friend, Janet who was an author helped with additional editing and I will be forever grateful to her. I ended up adding four more chapters due to her excellent suggestions.

Sitting in a recording studio and watching Susan record my story was magical and moving. I could hardly believe that my life stories were unfolding in such a beautiful way.

At the same time that my book was moving forward to completion, I began creating a new meditation song also named “Beside Me Always.” The melody that I composed when I was 17 reverberated through my life. I felt completely inspired and uplifted by the exquisitely haunting notes.

When my book became available two days before Mother’s Day, I eagerly shared the news. I created a slideshow with my new music “in progress” playing along with the lyrics Susan had so beautifully read.

I shared it with friends and family. And then the reality of it all hit me. I put my head down on my desk and cried.

They were tears of sorrow, tears of joy, and tears of healing.