HEALING SONG – PART 2

Link to other stories and recordings: HEALING SONG

I composed “Healing Song” in 2016. I attempted to write lyrics for it, but gave up when I decided it was meant to be an instrumental song. “Healing Song” clearly spoke to me without words.

I recorded a slower version of my song with added piano touches and released it on the Insight Timer Meditation app. Lovely people all over the world thanked me for my song and told me it didn’t need lyrics.

“Healing Song” was a perfect title because I wrote it while suffering with painful dry eyes. The melody lifted me out of my discomfort and not long after my song was written, my eye condition improved. After suffering for over four years with dry eyes, this beautiful outcome was welcomed.

Recently, I performed “Healing Song.” I shortened it slightly because of time constraints, but was pleased with how I played it that night. I took my time and allowed myself to linger over the many sweet passages. I expressed my feelings with every note.

I had some concerns about the tuning on my guitar. But thankfully, that night it was fairly in tune.

For well over a year, I had noticed on many occasions that I wasn’t satisfied with my guitar’s sound despite trying many kinds of strings. I decided to seek out a luthier (guitar repair expert) who came highly recommended. His name was John and 6 months ago he replaced the frets on my beloved Lowden. My guitar played nicely after that, but unfortunately the problem with tuning continued to bother me.

A few days before my performance, I brought my guitar back to John. I told him how the day before I had spent several hours recording 14 guitar tracks and none of them were usable; one chord sounded terribly out of tune. The calluses on my left hand had deep grooves after that session – it was such a shame.

After checking out my guitar, he said he didn’t hear a major tuning problem. He told me he could order an adjustable nut. It wouldn’t be pretty, but it could possibly make a subtle improvement for me.

I told John about that one chord and demonstrated the problem. It sounded terrible and was clearly out of tune. He reached over and pressed the exact same string and it wasn’t out of tune.

I played it and it was out of tune. I handed it back to him – he played it and it wasn’t. I scratched my head. What was going on?

It turned out that I was pressing too hard and pushing the string out of tune. Pressing hard seemed to prevent buzzing, but it wasn’t necessary.

I didn’t want to change my playing and told John to go ahead and order the part. He sent me a message a few days later that it wasn’t available, but he’d keep trying to find it.

In the meantime, I decided this was a sign for me. Pushing harder than was needed related to one of my favorite metaphors of “less is more.”

When I performed “Healing Song” at Kulak’s Woodshed’s Twofer night, it was a great opportunity for me to relax and play with less pressure. It made such a difference for my performance.

The wisdom from this was applicable to my life in many ways. “Pressing hard” was something I’m very familiar with. It was definitely time for a lighter approach!

I realize that I am happier with less pressure and most of the time it’s self-imposed. For months now, I’ve been recording an audio class for Insight Timer named “Grief Healing Through Music.” I had hoped finish everything before the Christmas holiday, but have had to accept that I can’t. This was a concept that could definitely help me with my frustration.

Healing is a very inspiring.

If I look for it, I see healing all around me. Recently, I’ve watched two of my children repair their relationship. It has filled me with amazement. When they were growing up, it was exhausting and frustrating for me to deal with their friction. I really wasn’t able to fix anything and even as adults, the tension between them upset me greatly. But my satisfaction of seeing them interact in a whole different way now fills me with pleasure.

This picture was taken by one of my children experimenting with an old film camera!

My oldest son’s growth and healing is another story I could write. This has been his first year working as an elementary school teacher. It has been exhausting for him and I’ve been very supportive of his courage to move to another state and work at a job where he had little experience. When he sent me a picture of a trophy he received, I wanted to shout out from the rooftops how happy I was.

Recently, I visited him for two weeks. A good friend of mine who is a teacher came with me for a few days. She really made a difference to his life. Before my son started his job, all three of us went shopping for school supplies for his classroom. Linnae even made him a Pinterest page and wrote out lists of suggestions to help him.

All three of us took a lovely excursion to a state park named “Valley of Fire.” It was a beautiful day!

I closed my eyes like I often do – but I know I looked happy there!

Even though stress and worry was a familiar part of my life for decades, I am learning to relax and enjoy my simple life. I used to take care of many family members and now it’s mostly just me.

Less pressure equals more joy. Less is definitely more!

The comments I receive daily on Insight Timer are definitely my fuel.

 

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CRYSTAL OCEANS – PART 3

I remember singing the melody to my song “Crystal Oceans” when I was only 17 years old. I loved the la la la’s and never imagined that decades later a music video would be filmed about my song.

Proof! A recording clip from 1980: 

The experience of filming this video was amazing. There were many hurdles and challenging moments – I could write a book about it. Now that my video has come together into a beautiful 4-minute fairytale, I am basking in joy.

I have chosen not to feel disappointed that my life didn’t follow the same script as this heartwarming video. If I thought about my song that way, I could feel sad. Instead, I am bursting with pride that I followed my dream to embrace music again after so many years of sadness.

After seeing my video, a good friend wrote this message to me. She said, “I hope you find love soon.”

This is what I wrote back to her:

“I already have found love and it’s okay for me to be without a man in my life. I’m very happy to be free to sing my heart out! But I love you and I understand your wish for me to find companionship. I do have a happy ending, even if my life didn’t end up that way. I just have a different happy ending!”

Singing my heart out

It was tremendous fun to participate in such a creative project. The director, videographer, editor, and actors all generously shared their talent, time and energy to make my dream come true. 

Director:  David Lautman

Director of Photography:  Shimmy Lautman

Video editing: Donna Ivgi Lautman

Young Judy:  Bailey Sorrel

Young Noah:  Andrew Trischitta

Older Noah:  Jonathon Wright

David and Shimmy’s mother is my childhood friend, Joni Lautman. Joni is dear to my heart and the reason I picked up my guitar again after 30 years. I can never thank her enough for that, but she continues to find ways to encourage me to share my voice! The picture above is of Joni and I as young teenagers with my mother at the beach. I was told that I look like my mother in the video.

This scene above was shot in my current bedroom. I live in the same apartment where I grew up and composed Crystal Oceans. The charcoal guitar illustration hanging on the wall is one I used to have in my old bedroom! David is filming Bailey dreaming of meeting her blue-eyed boy on the beach.

Young Judy is composing her song with my old classical guitar, the same one that I originally played all those years ago!

David and Shimmy did an amazing job setting up the shots.

I enjoyed a delicious salad at Coral Tree Café during the filming. Watching these two talented actors interact at one of my favorite cafes was a joy. 

It was very cold the day we filmed at El Matador State Beach near Point Dume. I was freezing and wearing my furry jacket. Bailey and Andrew were shivering but it didn’t show as they frolicked in the freezing ocean surf!

I’m glad I was able to borrow some sunglasses. Because they looked cool, I was encouraged to keep them on during the filming for a few shots.

I looked excited about the champagne, but in reality I don’t drink at all. But this video was definitely not about my reality – it was a fantasy!

More about the music video before filming: #556 THAT MOMENT WHEN

Link to more recordings, lyrics and stories about my song:  CRYSTAL OCEANS

Baily and AndrewJudy & Baily

 

 

 

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HOPE CAME WITH THE RAINBOW

“Music is my passion and art is my profession.”

I’ve said that line above many times. My artwork has taken a backseat while I’ve pursued creating music that I love. Unfortunately, creating music has been rather expensive but there is nothing else I’d rather spend my money on.

This year was incredibly slow for me in terms of receiving custom illustration assignments. The fact that I was beginning to think about finding income from sources other than art had me puzzled. I decided not to give up on my art career. If anything, I’ve learned that when I did that in the past during slow times – I was wrong.

On my last post, I shared that my arranger, Robert Maule moved to New York. Before he left, he was nice enough to help me out in setting up equipment so I could record at home. Even though my apartment is far noisier than I’d like, I am certain this is a good thing in the long run. I want to have guitar and vocal recordings for each one of my songs. Last week I  recorded number 38 and only have 13 more.

It wasn’t easy to be the guitarist and engineer for my first home recording. Though it was challenging, I did it! I’m very proud of myself. I figured out all of the inputs and outputs and managed to connect my audio interface and microphones. It took a lot of time and practice to get it right. After recording my guitar takes, I was exhilarated and exhausted!

I recorded my song “Rainbow Through My Tears” because it was such a perfect song for my life. It has been much better for me to cry and release my feelings than to walk around like a zombie holding everything in.

As I was setting up my Neumann TLM 103 Mic, It tipped out of my hands and landed on the floor with a resounding thump. I cried for a few minutes on my bed. Then I bent over, picked it up and screwed it back in. Thankfully, my recordings after that were fine.

Link to more about this song: RAINBOW THROUGH MY TEARS

I’m getting recordings that I like, but my challenge is to record when it’s quiet in my apartment – not easy!

I really loved the meditation music I created while working with Robert. I released a medley of our songs and it has been very popular on Insight Timer. I also combined my acoustic guitar and piano recordings from this year into another track that is getting played a lot on that app.

I was very sad when our collaboration ended. But my journey has taken me down a new path and I’ve chosen to embrace it. I am certain that more amazing music is ahead for me.

A month ago on a whim, I decided to play tennis at a tennis center near my home in the evening. Playing at night isn’t as easy for me as daytime because I can’t see the ball well. But it definitely is one of my favorite ways to exercise.

The people at this tennis drop-in were friendly and it was really good for me. During one of the breaks between sets, I chatted with a young man who was wearing a music shirt. His name was Bobby. I told him how much I liked his shirt, because I was a music lover. Before long, we were talking animatedly about our musical passions.

A week later when I saw him again, we chatted more and I realized he could be an excellent fit to create meditation music with me. He created movie and television scores and had incredible keyboard skills. He mentioned he had the program Omnisphere, which is a fabulous sound bank for meditation music. Even though Bobby had a day job (in music, which isn’t easy to come by), he was eager to work with me in the evenings.

After our first session, I was buoyed. Bobby was incredibly talented and we could definitely create beautiful meditation tracks together. But before doing that, I had a different agenda. I wanted to create meditative snippets to add to my Insight Timer Courses that I’ve been recording and refining.

We started out working on my song “Every Season.” Bobby was very sweet when he told me how much he appreciated my unusual chord progressions. I was gasping when he easily played the melody and chords on his keyboard. In only an hour, he created a lush ambient background for my Insight Timer Lesson, as well as an exquisite outtro for the ending.

Even though it’s still unfinished, it gives me chills. Once we finish our work enhancing my Insight Timer Courses, we will begin creating full-length meditation songs. I am hoping I will receive illustration assignments because it will allow me to finance all the music I am eager to create!

I close my eyes, and concentrate on dispelling worry and fear. I feel peace and gratitude as waves of hopefulness wash over me. Nothing is more beautiful for me than to continue following my dream. That is it; I don’t need anything else.

I see a rainbow!

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HEAVENLY HEALING MEDITATION SONGS

Today marks twenty-six years since my 5-year-old son Jason died. I will always miss him, but he lives on in my music.

Last week, I released a new meditation album named Heavenly Healing Meditation Songs. I am blessed to be healed.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/judy-unger/980739638

On this anniversary of the heart, I do feel blessed. I am healthy and inspired as I finish the creation of an audio course for Insight Timer named “Grief Healing Through Music.”

It’s been such a beautiful experience to verbally express my stories, lyrics and gentle healing suggestions. Connecting with my audience through this project is something I’m very much looking forward to once my course is live.

Last week, my daughter came over and took some pictures of me to use for the course profile picture. Somehow, I forgot to include my guitar. I just might do another photo shoot, but I haven’t decided yet.

Jason does live on. I end my brief post with an excerpt from my lesson for “Beside Me Always.”

With this lesson I’ve shared how the statement “beside me always” is very uplifting. I remember being overwhelmed by unrelenting grief and feeling my pain lift just with the thought of my loved one holding me. A distinct memory can bring my loved one into my heart. When I’m in deep despair, I’ll listen in my mind to hear their voice, guiding me with love. And when I feel so much love inside, my grief is soothed and my loneliness is eased.

Thoughts equal feelings and thoughts can affect outcomes. It has been far more helpful for me to picture myself healing, than to view an endless horizon of despair.

When you feel discouraged, perhaps you can imagine ways where your loved one is beside you, holding you up. Continue to try to find signs of healing.

When I read the words of “Beside Me Always” at Jason’s funeral, my words expressed how he was always beside me. In the beginning of my grief journey, I used to worry that I would forget him. My longing for his physical presence was like torture.

But when I healed, I realized that Jason never left me. He was always there.

All of my angels surround me. They don’t want me to suffer and they comfort me when my heart is open to them.

 

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