Tag Archives: compassionate friends
NO WORDS FOR YOU-PART 1
I am a singer/songwriter clearly who was influenced by the music of the 1970’s. One of the songs I used to sing was “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” I’m certain that was my inspiration for “No Words” was that song. My three stanzas were written when I was probably seventeen years old. I did not remember any of the melody except perhaps for the very first line. Continue reading →
WHEN YOU WERE BORN, I CAN’T EXPLAIN
Last week, I rediscovered the melody to go with lyrics to an old, love song composed when I was seventeen. The song was called “No Words.” The song had three stanzas, but required something more. For some reason the song stood out for me as a song for my child, not for a lover anymore. I decided it would actually become a song for my “subsequent children.” Continue reading →
A SOMBER, GRAY SKY DARKENS ABOVE
When I was suffering with grief, I didn’t want to hear whether anything “good” came out of a child’s death. At that moment in time, all I wanted was for him to come back to life! Feeling that something “purposeful” could come out of his death would be to acknowledge something selfish. I didn’t want to there to be any purpose or benefit to his death! It was inconceivable. Continue reading →
THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 2
As far as the analogy to a “car wreck” goes, unfortunately deep grief wrecks lives. I believe there is a sense of unfairness to the loss of someone that didn’t get a chance to live a full life (and that includes an infant, stillbirth, and miscarriage). Everyone dies, but when it happens before someone even had a chance to experience a full life – perhaps that is where so much of the sadness lies. However, there is certainly grief with losing anyone, even someone older. I have grieved for other things in my life besides the death of my son. With autism, there is also the issue about unfairness for the additional hurdles in life. However, I never want my scars to define me. Coping with those scars were easier for me when I became less focused on why the accident happened and more focused on how I could compensate and adjust. Unfortunately, like a car wreck – accidents happen. And there are no seatbelts for grief either!
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