Click the blue links to hear my song:


Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger


When you were born, I can’t explain

You found a way to ease my pain

You truly are my butterfly

Transforming my life, with your first cry

Sometimes there are no words

there are no words for you

no words for you

you have given me love

given me love, given me love

I can’t describe, my pain you’ve cured

I try and I try, there is no word

You truly are my butterfly

I sing from my heart this sweet lullaby

Sometimes there are no words

there are no words for love

no words for love

that has given me life

given me life, given me life

You truly are my butterfly

You lifted me up into the sky

Sometimes there are no words

there are no words for life

no words for life

that has given me you

given me you, given me you

there are no words

Below are pages from my youngest son’s baby book:

Babybook page 1

A poem I wrote after my daughter was born. She was born before it had been a year since Jason had died.

I am a singer/songwriter clearly who was influenced by the music of the 1970’s. One of the songs I used to sing was “Where Have All the Flowers Gone?” I’m certain that my inspiration for “No Words” was that song.

In “Where Have All the Flowers Gone” there was a progression from the beginning that went back to the ending. First it was flowers, then it was young girls, then young men, then soldiers, then graveyards, and then it went back to flowers. On my song, it was “no words for you,” then “no words for love,” then no words for life,” and back to “no words for you.”

My three stanzas were written when I was probably seventeen years old. I did not remember any of the melody except perhaps for the very first line.

When I went to record my song today, it was the newest song I’ve ever gone to record. I literally was still writing lyrics for it last night. I added two more lines of lyrics to the instrumental section, which felt a little too long without them.

“Winning a Granny”

Music represents the magical part of my life. The rest of my life is quite ordinary. I fixed dinner for my family of five. Just before dinner when there was a quiet moment, I approached my two, subsequent teenagers whom I wrote my song for. (Separately) I casually said to each one, “Would you like to hear the new song that I wrote for you and recorded today?”

I was rebuffed with, “No thanks, mom.”

My daughter said at dinner, “Hey, mom the Grammy’s are on tonight!”

I decided to ask for trouble. I grinned and said, “Maybe someday I’ll win a Grammy!”

My oldest son said, “Yeah, mom you’ll win a Granny!”

A lot of arguing and yelling ensued. Between all the insults and my husband demanding our children apologize to me, I secretly chuckled.

The birth of our daughter added a lot of joy back for my oldest son.

I can actually see my “bitten fingernails” in this picture. I stopped biting my nails last July.

Comment left on my blog by my friend, Lori, whom I wrote about on


On Dec. 17, 2012, Lori wrote:

Judy, I love that you wrote about subsequent children. Do you remember when Dave and I saw a therapist right after Matthew died and she told us not to have another child because I was trying to replace my dead child? Thank god, I never listened to her! Katie brought us so much joy in such a horrible time in our life. Although she never knew her brother, she knows every detail of his life from us and I love when she talks about him.

I just got finished reading your blog on grief! It was amazing! You wrote from your heart and I hung off of every word. Your words are exactly how I feel and I bet the majority of bereaved parents feel the same way. It was like seeing all my thoughts put into words. I read and reread what you wrote several times. It gave me chills knowing you wrote “Alone” when you were only 17 years old, not knowing what was to come.

If it’s okay with you, I would like to share some of your writing with friends, who although never lost a child, stuck by me through my grief. Even though they were always there for me, I never was able to express to them how I really felt. Since my journey through the grieving process is so similar to yours, I would like them to read it so they could have a better understanding of what bereaved parents go through. It will be interesting to hear their thoughts.

Love, Lori 

Lori’s son, Michael (a bereaved sibling), is with my daughter in this picture.

Michael and my oldest son became close and both mourned the loss of a brother. Michael is in the middle between my two children.

© Judy Unger and 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Judy

I'm an illustrator by profession. At this juncture in my life, I am pursuing my dream of writing and composing music. Every day of my life is precious!
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2 Responses to NO WORDS FOR YOU-PART 1

  1. MAGDA says:



  2. tersiaburger says:

    Dearest Judy, In appreciation for your support, advice and friendship I have nominated you for the Best Moments Award. I hope you will accept this award.


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