myjourneysinsight

MY DREAM STILL GLOWS

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Judy

Below is a blue link to my story about this song:

Story behind MY DREAM

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Currently, I am creating many fruit illustrations for a line of yogurt labels.

It felt strange not to check the box that said “married” when I filled out this form a few weeks ago.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FOG

As the Princess continued her journey, she sometimes wondered how she stayed so strong. She didn’t rely on anyone; she marveled at her strength and determination. What she loved most was that she had not an iota of regret for choosing to follow her heart.

A few months earlier, the Princess emerged from a tunnel into blinding sunlight. But the brilliance quickly faded into darkness. The Princess was able to avoid the holes in her landscape and stayed positive because love continued to light her way. Gradually the inky blackness turned to gray and then the sky became white.

It was then that she noticed a fog had rolled in . . .

The fog was wispy at first, but soon it surrounded her in every direction.

The Princess hated to complain. Despite her awareness that worrying sucked away her energy, she began to wonder if the fog would ever lift. It was extremely annoying. She reminded herself that there was no hurry for her to get to any destination, because she loved where she was going. In her heart, she knew how valuable she was. She loved her journey.

Despite the fog, it was easy for the princess to have faith. When many gold coins suddenly fell in front of her path, it was something she never expected. Material items were unimportant for her, and yet this came at a time when her debt was overwhelming her. She believed there was definitely a message to find with those coins.

But then the fog began to hurt her eyes; and it wasn’t just annoying anymore. The Princess realized she was truly alone, as the fog separated her from a familiar world.

It wasn’t hard for her to be alone, she was just so discouraged by the pain. So she looked at her journey in the fog as an opportunity to find even more clarity.

Her eyes were half closed and she did not have much energy as she gritted her teeth and continued to move forward. Tears spilled down her cheeks easily.

Then the fog began to dance and she felt extreme heaviness. Spider webs appeared in her eyes and she felt her body slowing down. It was exhausting. Now there were silken webs tightening around her feet and pulling with each step. She tried to move, but instead she softly fell to the ground.

Her painful eyes were like slits. She heard a voice and through her half-closed eyes she saw a white spider grinning and cackling at her. The spider was speaking. It’s voice was very familiar and sounded like an old woman.

The Princess asked the spider, “Why are you here?”

The spider answered, “My dear, I am joining you and I know you remember me. There was a time when we spent all of our time together for many, many years.”

The Princess was weak and did not want to answer. But she asked the white spider, “What is your name?”

The spider tiptoed and whispered into the princess’s ear while she was still lying prone on the ground.

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“My name is Sadness. Let’s travel together. While I am with you, we can even find many of those old memories that I am a part of.”

The princess felt her eyes glaze over. She was tired of crying and pulling at the webs. It was nice not to be alone anymore. She rested with Sadness and did not move for a long time.

But then the princess began to miss her musical elixir. She softly sang to herself and could feel her soul glowing with pleasure.

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Magically, the webs surrounding her body began to melt away.

She ignored the spider on the ground as she stood up.

The white spider began to shriek, “You cannot do that – I am here to stay with you. You have no reason to push me away. I want to keep you company!”

The Princess smiled. She was relieved that she had not lost her ability to smile or sing. She ripped off the remaining webs that bound her and watched them float away. The magical elixir of music continued to fill her heart.

Now that she had vanquished the spider, she was even more certain of her strength. She sang loudly and freely and beamed with an inner glow.

Although her exterior felt ravaged by circumstances, inside she felt quite beautiful. Her appearance might not be sparkling, but that was unimportant for her because she knew it was temporary.

She remained thankful for so many things, but especially to God for giving her the musical elixir to help her. God even blessed her with gold coins to make her journey easier.

There was no reason to stop in the fog. It would lift someday. Until then, sadness would never be her companion again.

And with her music, she was never alone.

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Recent email update to my family and friends:

This has been a most difficult time in my life. My eye problems have continued. A month ago I had a laser treatment called a capsulotomy, which treats a common cataract complication. It caused my vision to become clearer, but also left me with more noticeable floaters. I was told that was temporary.

After the procedure, my eyes continued bothering me. I could not shake the feeling that something was inside my eyes; it worsened and became painful. It was like I had spider webs in my eyes! I called my surgeon’s office. The receptionist from the ophthalmology department told me over the phone that it sounded like dryness and I needed to simply use artificial tears. I have been disappointed with the treatment I’ve received since my cataract surgery. When I was told that there were no appointments available, I found myself crying on the phone. Due to my insistence, I was given an appointment to see an optometrist instead.

At that appointment, I was told that my eyelids and tear ducts were inflamed. Steroid eye drops were prescribed and I was told to see my eye surgeon in 3 weeks.

In the meantime, I continue to work on a wonderful illustration project. I am thankful that I can easily see my large computer screen, however, working has certainly made the dryness in my eyes much worse.

My project is going well and is a godsend to my life. So far, my layouts have been well received. I am illustrating fruit, which is my specialty.

There are so many wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for. My daughter found a job, my oldest son is graduating college and my youngest son did an amazing job performing in a play at his new school.

The sale of my former home fell through and now a second buyer is having difficulty getting a loan. It will be two weeks before we will know if this sale will go through. I am not terribly affected by this, but I am concerned about the effect on my son and former husband. I trust that things will work out. If this sale does not go through, our home might sell for even more because the marketplace is excellent at the moment.

Music is still an IV for my soul. Even though I work long hours illustrating, I take breaks to sing and record several times a week. I have already recorded vocals for 24 songs and have 14 left. My voice teacher, Kimberly Haynes, continues to help me sing freely with a great connection to my vocal chords. Also, once a week I work on song arrangements with my arranger George.

My divorce will probably become final around the end of the year. I hope you are well and appreciate all of the support you have given me.

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Love, Judy

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I am so thankful for my mother’s companion, Miriam, who keeps my mother smiling. I feel very close to her, because she has made such a difference to our family with her devotion to my mother.

Recently, Miriam had a birthday. She cryed with joy as we celebrated it.

Recently, Miriam had a birthday. She cried with joy when we celebrated it.

Guess which is the most important tool I use while illustrating? My iPod!

© 2013 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tagged acoustic guitar, Aging Parents, beautiful music, Caregiving, childhood friendship, composing, creativity, escape through music, guitar, hopefulness, humor daily life, inspiration, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, metaphors, mother, mother daughter relationship, mother's illness, Music, musical comfort, musical inspiration, my dream, optimism, original songs, princess metaphor, singing, songwriting, writing | 3 Comments

MY DREAM HAS ME BLESSED

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Judy

This picture was taken on a camping trip when I was in college. Playing my guitar around a campfire was so beautiful for me!

In February of 2009, my 84-year-old mother was released from a hospital and into a nursing facility. She had been on a respirator for two months and it was a miracle she recovered.

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This blog is a fabulous record of the fairytale my life became as a result of my musical rediscovery.

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I started writing my blog a week after that and my journey of insight began. For my very first entry, I shared how giddy I was that I would soon be meeting a producer in the music business. My childhood friend, Joni, had arranged this appointment with Jud Friedman. Here is a paragraph from his website:

6-Time Oscar, Grammy and Golden Globe Nominated Hit Songwriter

I have had multiple nominations for Oscars, Grammies and Golden Globes and hits with songs such as “Run To You” by Whitney Houston, “I Don’t Have The Heart” by James Ingram and “For The First Time” by Kenny Loggins. I’ve written for and worked with artists ranging from Barbra Streisand to Rod Stewart to Ray Charles to, most recently, Charice and Toni Braxton.

I really had no idea where it would lead. I definitely thought the experience would be fun to write about on my new blog.

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So I began practicing my guitar again, and I tried to remember some of the original songs I had written as a teenager. It certainly seemed like such a strange thing for me to be doing at the age of 50!

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Prior to my wedding in 1981, I was dancing the can-can in the dressing room with all of my bridesmaids. My childhood friend, Joni, was the most glamorous bridesmaid and everyone mentioned how absolutely gorgeous she looked on that day.

I decided to go back to find my emails with Joni about this appointment. Here they are!

February 7, 2010

Judy, I spoke with Jud and he can see you for an hour this coming Friday in the morning at his home. Can you make it? If so, you can meet me at my home and we can both go over together. Or if you would prefer, you can meet him solo. Bring your demo, or guitar or both, whichever you would like. Looking forward to your reply!

Love, Joni

Dear Joni,

I feel my heart palpitating already – OMG. Okay, I’m taking deep breaths. A whole hour? Wow! I think I have about ten songs I could play. That much time is very, very generous of him. Thank you so much for putting this together, Joni! It has added so much excitement to my world!

Is he really hard to get in to see? Because I wouldn’t mind if we met instead the following week, so that I could be more “practiced.” My fingers are so sore, and I hope I’ll be up to speed by Thursday – oh whatever, it’s just exciting to dream.

Love, Judy

P.s. My heart is pounding, I’ve got to try to be calm about all this!

I wrote about the experience on these posts:

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#3 CAPABLE SONGWRITER, JUST NOT CONTEMPORARY

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#4 REDISCOVERING WHAT I LOVE TO DO – PART 1

Joni and I grew up as playmates. We lived in a coop in North Hollywood from infancy until college. I moved back to that same coop six months ago. My father had died and I needed to sell it. But then, I realized it was an affordable place for me to live when I ended my marriage.

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Joni still lived in the same neighborhood with her husband and four children, less than half a mile away. I was always amazed at how many memories both of us carried from our childhood; it was such a beautiful thing to have her as my friend.

After meeting Jud, I was completely inspired. Suddenly, I found myself drawn to playing my guitar again and my journey began!

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Judy and Joni at a party

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Currently, two of my children live with me in my coop. One of the biggest reasons that I decided to move back to it was because my 16-year-old son would be attending a new high school that was two blocks away. His school represented a new beginning for him. He would still see his father and older brother on the weekends.

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Once again, this all led to another amazing coincidence in my life.

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Judy and Judd 2

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I actually ran into Jud, the music producer while at a school meeting for my son. There he was sitting near me! Jud certainly remembered me because only a few months earlier, I met with him for a second time to share my musical progress. He was very impressed to see what I had accomplished two years later and once again, he was very generous with his time and knowledge.

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Now all of this ended up becoming even more interesting!

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Last week, my teenage son called me to pick him up after socializing with some friends. They had walked from a bowling alley to a nearby coffee shop.

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When I arrived to pick him up, he came out with another boy. Then he asked me if I could give his friend a ride home.

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It turned out it was Jud’s son!

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For twenty minutes, the two of us had an animated conversation. I told him how wonderful Jud was and how his father had inspired me to begin writing songs again. Jud’s son was beaming and enthusiastic as he spoke about his father and the amazing experience he had attending the Academy Awards as his dad’s guest. It was beautiful to hear about it.–

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This is a picture of Joni with two of her children. This picture was taken at one of Jason’s birthday parties over twenty years ago.

This is a picture of Joni with two of her children at one of Jason’s birthday parties over twenty years ago.

My journey began with Joni’s suggestion. Joni knew Jud because her son was dating his daughter at that time. Then once again, y journey went in a new and wonderful direction with another one of her suggestions!

Three months ago, she said to me, “Jude, my daughter has a boyfriend and he’s a musical genius. If you are looking for someone who knows a lot about music, I’m certain he could help you.”

I had mentioned to her that I wanted to learn more about music programming and mixing. She texted me his phone number.

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Who would have thought my good friend’s children and their dating partners could lead to such amazing things?

I spoke to her daughter’s boyfriend; his name was Darrin Kohavi.

Darrin was an avid songwriter, composer and singer. He played classical piano and worked in the music industry. He came from a musical family and certainly knew a great deal about recording music.

I introduced myself to him and he was very friendly on the phone. I found out later that Joni had already shared my blog with him.

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I told Darrin I was having difficulty recording in my coop. It was complicated and noisy. Also, my teenagers hated my singing and I was inhibited.

Darrin gave me a perfect solution. He said there was recording studio less than half a mile from my coop. He explained that it was at his parents’ home. He didn’t live there, but he could meet me there to record vocals. We set up an appointment that week.

Right away, I was elated. Darrin’s recording area was almost sound proof, and he had an excellent pre-amp. We did some test recordings and they were beautiful. He was willing to accommodate me for half hour sessions at a reasonable price.

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I was delighted and ready to start recording vocals. We began working together.

Darrin was a soft-spoken and relaxed young man. He had long locks of curly black hair and a sweet smile. Whenever I sang, he always gave me gentle encouragement. It turned out, he was quite experienced from recording his own vocals; he understood so much about what I was doing.

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Here are examples of our exchanges:

Judy: (After singing a song five times) I sound raspy, don’t I?

Darrin: Yes, but the vibe is great.

Judy: Have you ever had your voice get raspy like that?

Darrin: Oh, sure!

Judy: Those mouth clicks are driving me crazy! Do you get those, too?

Darrin: All the time!

Judy: Everything was sounding great until my foot squeaked. Has that happened to you?

Darrin: It sure has and you have to watch those things!

Judy: It’s hard to sing when I cry – sorry!

Darrin: Don’t worry; you have lots of other takes to work with.

Judy: Not bad for my first take?

Darrin: Warm up!

Judy: How did that one sound?

Darrin: I liked that one a lot.

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I realize that going through a divorce, having eyesight issues and living in close quarters with two teenagers has been challenging. My mother’s continued decline is also quite difficult.

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But the joy that I receive from singing is my blessing!

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Today, I brought a camera along to my recording session to add pictures to my story.

Darrin’s parents are wonderful and if his mother or father had been home, they would have taken a picture of us together. Instead, I captured him at his computer with his dog and he snapped pictures of me at the microphone.

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Tagged acoustic guitar, childhood friendship, composing, creativity, Darrin Kohavi, death of a child, Friendship, grief, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, guitar, inspiration, Jud Friedman, loss, lovesong, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, Music, Music and recording, musical rediscovery, original songs, recording, recording studio, singing, songwriting, vocal concepts, vocals, vocals and recording | 2 Comments

I OPENED MY EYES AND I CLOSED THEM AGAIN

Posted on April 7, 2013 by Judy

This image of me resting was taken when I was 19. This rendition is for my audio book story surrounding my song “So Real.” My post title is a line of lyrics from that song.

This image of me resting was taken when I was 19. This rendition is for my audio book story surrounding my song “So Real.” This post is a line of lyrics from that song.

Link to performance, recordings and other stories about this song: SO REAL–

This image is for my audio book story about my song “No Words.” The baby is actually my daughter, who was born 11 months after Jason died.

An email update I sent out a week ago:

Hi friends and family,

I just wanted to update everyone about my eyes etc. On Tuesday, I had laser treatment on both of my eyes to clear the remaining cataract that intruded upon my vision. The complication I had was very common and almost immediately I could see that everything was brighter. But once the dilation wore off I saw numerous dark floaters, which was something the eye doctor told me I would have for a few days.

Unfortunately, the problem in my left eye is still quite pronounced for me. When the gel in my eye separated from the eye wall, there was some blood inside my gel. That is causing the blurriness. The doctors have told me it will improve, but it will take time – possibly even a year until it is absorbed.

All of this has been very hard for me to deal with. I try to stay positive, even though I often have a sensation like I have cobwebs in both my eyes. I was told there is no reason for this.

In the meantime, I am thankful that working on the computer is not a problem for me. It is when I’m not working, that my eyes bother me. Although this is challenging, I celebrate the many beautiful things that are happening in my new life.

I am thrilled to be working on a wonderful illustration assignment, which is going quite well. The income will allow me to continue singing and moving forward.

Love, Judy

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This image is for my audio story named “The Amputation of My Soul.”

The princess had fallen on the ground many times before. Each and every time she found a way to rise up again. It was familiar for her.

The difference was that now she was older and she no longer had parents to envelop her with support and love. So she found love elsewhere, and continued to marvel at her strength.

She was far away from the dragon now and glad that he was finally moving forward in a new direction. She cared about him even though she disliked his presence.

Although she had tremendous energy, the princess was sad and cried easily. Not long ago, she had imagined she could choose either a rock or a gold coin to represent each day. She realized that her days were not precious anymore and she only carried rocks. Music lightened her load, but it was still heavy. With every tear she shed, a new pebble was added to the quarry upon her back.

Her greatest burden was that her eyes continuously bothered her. It wasn’t something anyone could see, but it affected her deeply into the core of her being. Whenever she opened her eyes she felt silken strands resting upon the surface of her eyeball. The wispiness in her vision made her imagine she was in a cocoon. Her vision felt wobbly and she often closed her eyes.

She lived within her dreams, and imagined herself to be a butterfly. Her wispy world represented her cocoon, and she preferred instead to wrap herself in music.

To everyone else, she was a capable and functioning woman. She felt less than capable, and was not compassionate with herself. There were many careless mistakes she made, and she saw it as a sign that her attention was elsewhere. It was hard for her to be forgiving because her errors were foolish and expensive. More than a few bills went unpaid, but she tried not to cry over anything related to money.

The princess was determined not to wallow in self-pity. Her courage was something she continued to take pride in. Although she had no regrets, sometimes she had deep sadness over all the years lost living as a zombie.

The doctors told her that eventually her eyesight would improve. But for now, she was suffering so much and living in discomfort.

She was determined to accept it. By allowing for pain, she knew that pleasure would return again for her someday.

The princess never gave up hope. Hope was always her true message. She would emerge from her cocoon and take flight with beautiful wings into the sky.

In her past, she had suffered losses that were much more difficult. When she grieved, her world was silent and sad. Music continued to bless her life and she drank in her magical elixir. Even without the eyesight of her youth, her music transported her to beautiful places.

And so it was, that at her lowest point her faith was rewarded.

With her eyes were closed, she suddenly felt herself immersed in a shower of gold coins. The very thing she hadn’t expected began to lightly tap upon her. She looked up into the sky and all the rocks that she was carrying dropped aside as the gold coins sprinkled around her.

The coins sparkled and would light the way now to make her path easier.

It was clear. She would continue following her heart. This was such a beautiful sign. The timing was amazing and reminded her again how she was blessed.

She thanked God.

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Tagged cataract surgery complications, challenges, composing, creativity, eye gel separation, eyesight issues, GRIEF RELATED, inspiration, loss, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, No Words, original songs, Posterior Vitreous Detachment, Princess and the Dragon, princess metaphor, So Real, Songs about bereavement, songs about grief, songs about loss, songwriting, the princess and the dragon, voice lessons, writing | 1 Comment

YOUR HAND WAS THE ONE HOLDING MINE

Posted on March 24, 2013 by Judy

This photo of my son, Jason after his first open-heart surgery reminds me how it is possible to laugh and smile despite difficult circumstances.

Memories I treasure, being outdoors when I was in my twenties.

It was a Saturday. I drove to see my mother at her nursing home for our weekly lunch outing. As I sat trying to hold it together, my mother continuously beamed at me. Her dementia did not allow her to converse anymore, but I could still feel her love. I tried hard not to appear distraught.

It was after I dropped my mother back at her nursing home that I received the phone call.

It was so beautiful and amazing that it left me breathless.

I believe God definitely sent me a message to help me.

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While looking for pictures of an old friend to add to my story, I found more beautiful pictures of Jason to share on my blog.

I wrote my story with flashbacks interspersed. They are in purple italics.

“Judy, it’s Jeanne! Do you remember me?”

My heart skipped a beat as I yelled, “Are you kidding? Of course! I would never forget you!”

It was three days after Jason’s funeral. I was numb and in a fog. But Jeanne and her husband Josh were at the door. They had come over to make breakfast and I was so grateful to see them. I was filled with desperation. There was no one else who understood my desolation – no one. It was because Jeanne had experienced a stillbirth many years before; to me, she was an expert about grief. Her explanations comforted me and I could never get enough. But it always led to the same place. I needed to know when the agony would subside. Sadly, it had only just begun.

Jeanne was crying as she said, “Judy, I was thinking of you and looked you up on the Internet. I have been reading your blog. Oh my God, you had me crying and laughing! I saw Jason’s pictures, heard your music and caught up on your life. You are such an incredible person and a gifted writer. I am so excited about where you are going with your life. I couldn’t wait to call you!”

Then that explained the 200 views I had on my blog one day last week. I knew someone was reading a lot of pages and I had a premonition about it. I often wondered about certain people from my past and hoped to hear from them someday. Jeanne was definitely one of them.

Jeanne explained why she had looked me up. It was because of her anniversary of the heart for Jillian. Her beloved little girl would have been 25 years old had she lived. She said, “There’s no one I can share that day with anymore. My ex was the only one and that’s over. But then I thought of you; I went on the Internet to look you up.”

I told Jeanne I had a calendar with events marked on it. Her daughter’s anniversary of the heart was there and whenever I saw it, I always remembered Jeanne and what she taught me about grief through Jillian’s death. I would never forget how much she helped me during my horrible grief.

I wailed to Jeanne – I couldn’t smell Jason anymore. I was forgetting him! Jeanne was patient and gentle when she said she had felt the same way. She said that the fear of forgetting was very real. I cried and cried to her.

Jillian had died on the day she was born. I remember Jeanne breaking my heart when she shared how Josh carried his tiny dead infant daughter throughout the hospital so he could show everyone how perfect and beautiful she was.

I wasn’t feeling better. I wished I were dead. The only time I felt better was when I was with other people suffering the same way. I went to support groups several times a week; I searched high and low for them. Some support groups weren’t specifically about losing a child and weren’t as helpful for me. But it was better than nothing.

I wanted Jeanne to tell me about the group that helped her so much after her loss. I begged her, but she kept hesitating. After constantly badgering her, she finally told me why. She said, “Judy, I don’t want you to go this group. I’m concerned that you might say that your loss is greater because your child lived five years. This group is for infant loss, and there are people there suffering through miscarriages. If you say your loss is greater that would be very hurtful for them.”

I always remembered her words. I have written a lot about grief and about grief comparisons. It breaks my heart recalling how Jeanne and Josh were there for us, while constantly hearing from my family, friends and even from me how their loss was not comparable to mine. I totally readjusted my thinking after I healed from my grief. I do not believe in comparing grief anymore.

Both of us continued babbling. Jeanne’s tone was firm when she mentioned that she wanted to talk to me about my singing. She reminded me that I had performed at her wedding. I’d forgotten! It was the one and only time I had ever done something like that. She gushed to me about how much she loved my voice. My presence and the song I played at her wedding was something unforgettable to her. It was such a unique and beautiful song, but I no longer remembered how to play it. I wasn’t sure when to mention to her that I knew about her divorce because I had run into Josh.

I loved playing 70’s songs. Judy Collins had a sensitive, sweet song named “Since You’ve Asked.” I was extremely honored to play it for my friends’ wedding. The wedding was held outdoors and it was a warm day. There were orchards and sweet blossoms that intoxicated me as I gently fingerpicked my song and sang from my heart. It was a beautiful moment; singing next to my good friends with their eyes locked in love.

We talked about what had happened to our mutual friends. I had met Jeanne and her husband Josh at a workshop called “Making Marriage Work.” Just writing those words gave me a pang in my heart. Perhaps the class did work somewhat, as I had stayed married for many years through tribulations that most couples broke apart from. And the class did not work for Josh and Jeanne either.

Six years ago, I was shopping at the market when I heard a voice behind me. I was stunned; it was my friend Josh whom I hadn’t seen in seven years. I couldn’t believe it. He had gone through gastric bypass surgery and lost over 100 pounds; I hardly recognized him. He told me that he had gotten divorced and lived in the area. I took his business card and a week later I invited him to dinner at our house. My husband and I caught up with him over that dinner. I felt very sad when he talked about Jeanne. I realized that I was hearing only one side of the story. As he spoke about the deterioration of their relationship, most of his words flew over my head because it sounded so painful.

I tried to remember why my husband and I had lost touch with Josh and Jeanne. We had been close friends for about 20 years. At first, I thought it had to do with the problems I faced with my living children. For at least a decade, I was so encompassed with their challenges that there was little time left in my life for friendship. Then I remembered that they moved to another state and that truly was the reason. But they did end up moving back and I last saw them at my fortieth birthday party, which was a surprise for me.

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Jeanne and I continued talking for a long time, until it was time for both of us to hang up. As I said goodbye, I hoped I would get to see her again soon and catch up more.

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This was from a camping trip. My husband and I stayed close for many years with five couples from a workshop we attended called “Making Marriage Work.”

This is Jeanne on a camping trip. My husband and I stayed close for many years with five couples from a class we attended called “Making Marriage Work.”