myjourneysinsight

YOU MADE ME WANT TO SING

Posted on November 5, 2010 by Judy

My guitar was tuned. I tried not to check the time again. I had the songbooks ready, and I cleared some space on a table near two chairs. I was ready for us to sing!

My house was not straightened up or cleaned. I no longer stress out about what anyone thinks about my house. All they need to know is that my priorities are quite different from what they used to be. I feel valuable as a human, and so many things just don’t matter much to me anymore. If my house is a reflection of me than it says, “Judy is far too busy to worry about housekeeping, these days!”

When the doorbell rang, I sprang up quickly to answer it. I practically dashed into the door, as it swung open. I crushed the woman standing there. We hung on tightly for a long time.

It had been thirty-one years since I had last seen my girlfriend, Carol. It was amazing for me how quickly we reunited once it came into my head to find her. I would not have found her, were it not for Sam’s information he had gleaned from her at their thirtieth, high school reunion.

I was about to name this post, “In the Middle – No Longer Remote and Isolated!”

We both sat in my dining room to catch up a bit. I poured her a glass of “one of our favorite memories” – Good Earth iced tea! We had often eaten at the Good Earth restaurant in Westwood before going Israeli folkdancing together. We both decided we would go together soon to a folkdancing “oldies night.”

I’d wondered if Carol had abandoned Judaism over the years; she had not.

There is no simple way to summarize her life for the last thirty-one years on my blog. This much I can share: She earned a Ph.D. in neurobiology and did four years of postdoctoral research, but came to realize that a career in research was not right for her, and in fact was making her accutely unhappy. With her husband’s support she left science and pursued other things, which she promised she’d tell me about. She learned a lot as a scientist that has helped her in life, and says she has a lot of wonderful and interesting conversations with her husband, a professor at Caltech, about his own research.

What was most relevant for me, was that she very happily married and appreciative of her life! She was completely down to earth.

Knowing I loved puns, she threw one out to me that completely went over my head. She said, “My husband and I are a paradox.”

I didn’t get it.

Then she reiterated. We’re a pair of docs!

I pulled out my guitar and we started singing. Carol had not sung much for many years, and it was quite a bit of singing for her. She had to rest when her voice became hoarse. I remember well how I encountered that when I first began singing again.

She drove me to lunch. I hopped in her Honda Accord, and we ate lunch at my favorite, Japanese restaurant. She gently asked me if it would be okay for her to treat me. I hope I get this one right. There was a story she shared to convince me.

“Judy, why does a dog lick it’s – ahem – private parts.”

I looked at her quizzically. Okay, okay. I was wondering what that had to do with her treating me.

“Because he can!”

That was it – I was convinced!

Lunch was glorious. Carol ordered some sushi as an appetizer. I have hardly ever tasted sushi since most of my life I kept kosher and wasn’t exposed to it. It was delicious!

We finished lunch with big smiles and ideas for perhaps going hiking together someday. Carol mentioned she had orthotics in her tennis shoes for plantar fasciitis. I have been plagued with that condition for a long time, and was unable to wear sandals for at least fifteen years.

Okay here’s my pun: We are sole sisters!

This summer I started to wear sandals again. Somehow the pain in my feet has finally subsided. I have also truly enjoyed pedicures and seeing my toenails for the first time in my life.

Before Carol left in the later afternoon, my daughter took some pictures of us. Unfortunately, the lighting wasn’t very good and the color was washed out. My Photoshop skills couldn’t rescue them much, and I ended up going to black and white in order for the photo to be appreciated. RIght after taking the photo with Tiki on my shoulder, that cantankerous bird was jealous of Carol and bit me instead on the neck!

Below is our correspondence before we saw each other today:

(her writing is in blue):

On Nov 1, 2010, Carol wrote:

Hi Judy,

Thanks for the new recording! The song has been running through my head, and I found myself singing it in the shower this morning – great acoustics!

On Thursday, I’ll try and head out as early as practical. As for lunch, spicy isn’t necessary. From what I’ve been reading, you like Japanese food, don’t you? So do I.

As for what I’ve been reading – wow. I don’t know what to say. I’m very impressed and moved. Your account of Jason’s death was heart-rending, and you’ve shared so many important things about your life and experiences; it’s quite a lot to take in. Especially, since I’m trying to catch up before Thursday! And I need to give you some more background on myself, as well.

Have a great day!

Love, Carol

Hi Carol,

Please – don’t feel the need to read my blog to know what I’ve been doing. Trust me, a lot of my friends have never read my blog! I can verbally fill you in, for sure!

I am eager to hear what you’ve done – but I am so happy you’re in such a good place (as I am) these days. Anyway, looking forward to Thursday. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like there’s rain in the forecast for the drive!

And, yes – let’s have Japanese food!

Love, Judy

Hi, Judy,

My husband’s out-of-town and I’ve stayed up WAY past my bedtime reading old diary entries. What a hoot! Something you may find interesting–

You and I apparently DID plan to get together after that very open conversation on the Hollywood Bowl bus–it wasn’t necessarily the end of our friendship. One of my diary entries mentioned my upcoming plans to go to the beach with you–written April, 1982, which was several months after I’d broken up with Sam and moved back home to L.A. I didn’t record anything about that day, so I don’t remember if we saw each other or if our plans fell through, but we were at least communicating.

What do you think of that? Memory is so fickle! And I didn’t keep my diary very regularly, unfortunately; there’s a great deal of information missing. I stopped reading tonight (this morning, technically!) shortly after that entry so I don’t know if I mentioned you later on. I wish I could remember more!

I left L.A. for grad school at UC Irvine in August of 1983. Could that be when we truly lost touch?

A brief prayer penned at the bottom of a page–every bit as true now as when I was twenty-four:

“Please, God, let me know my own heart, and save me from a life of mediocrity”.

Sweet dreams!

Love, Carol

On November 3, 2010, Judy wrote:

Wow, Carol, you were up late!

I went to bed around 1 – that’s become my routine! And I was up at 5; I can’t believe how I can do this and not be tired! I do mean it when I say there aren’t enough hours in the day for me.

Okay, I am thinking of what must have been our last time together. I think it was when we went hiking at Switzer Falls. I have pictures from that day and I’m sharing one here. Perhaps we changed our beach outing to hiking that day? Sadly, Switzer’s – one of my favorite hiking areas – was badly burned during those fires last year. I hadn’t been back there for many years, but it was one of my most favorite places on earth.

I love your quote about mediocrity! I hope you’ll write something for my blog. Of course, I am in writing mode, but your thoughts are certainly very interesting and I bet a lot of my readers might appreciate your insights!

Here’s something interesting – I wrote a song for both you and Cindy. It was called “More Than You Know.” I lost touch with both of you around the same time. Cindy and I have since reconnected and I might write about that some time. My recorded song has “revised lyrics” that address loss more for me. I will share the original lyrics in a moment. I just redid the vocals on that song, too. The timing of all this is so interesting for me!

I’m looking forward to catching up!

Love, Judy

Ps. I am attaching the photo from our hike that day.

On Nov 5, 2010, Judy wrote:

Hi Carol,

Here’s a rough draft of what I am planning to post. Please let me know what you think before I “put it out there.”

My memory is so poor – what was you PhD for again?

Love, Judy

Hi, Judy,

Good job! Oy, I can’t believe you included the dog joke!

I earned my Ph.D. in neurobiology. (I added her information to the blog post)

I think the photos turned out fine (though I’m not too fond of the last one in the series). I wish I could think of a pun about our two huge smiles!

Have a great day!

Love, Carol

Hi Carol,

I am so glad you replied.

I don’t know why I didn’t remember neurobiology – especially since we both talked about our fascination with bugs! I’ve never met another woman who threw bugs into spider webs!

I just got back from playing tennis and I fell! I actually did a “rock and roll” – I was hysterically laughing (almost sobbing) after. My wrist is slightly sore – but I am so LUCKY! Imagine if I broke my hand and couldn’t type or play guitar! I guess at 51 I am still capable of stepping on my own shoe. I was fine and able to play tennis after.

I’ll post this thing later on today. I am going to go cook my husband lunch now. I am trying to be extra nice to him.

Love, Judy

Ps. I will take out that last picture – I don’t want any visible chin hairs showing!

Judy,

Gosh I’m glad your wrist is okay–that could have been bad!

Not only did I throw bugs into spider webs, I also kept them as pets. You don’t have to post all this–irrelevant, but you’ll relate–one of my earliest well-formed memories is of being 4 and being put down for a nap. My mom came in to see if I was sleeping, and instead found me playing with a huge grasshopper (4-5″ long) I’d caught. I’d wrapped it’s hindquarters with aluminum foil to keep it from hopping away! I kept butterflies, caterpillars, grasshoppers; and of course, praying mantids, which I fed with bugs I’d catch, just like you. My best girlfriend, Rosy, did similar things. We still love to look at bugs and toads and other stuff together when we get the chance to see each other (she lives in Alabama)–you’d like her.

‘Til later–

XO, Carol

I’m sorry – but I have to include your bug part! It is so great to know other humans, like you and Rosy did those things. I was a grasshopper “serial killer,” too – their poor legs always fell off! (I should have tried the foil)

Love, Jude

I loved the posters on my bedroom wall. Notice the Renaissance lute and player behind us. I used to play a lot of that type of music, which influenced some of my musical compositions.

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tagged acoustic guitar, childhood friendship, creativity, Friendship, guitar, lyric development, lyric writing, lyrics, Ordinary Life, performing, singing, songwriting | 1 Comment

IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN-PART 1

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Judy

This is a picture from my honeymoon. My guitar is next to me on the right side.

It Might Have Been Arrangement 2015

LESSON WITH PEACHES – 10/29/10 – IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

A memory . . .

I was tired; driving home from college at CSUN. I was approaching the intersection only a block away from my home. Suddenly, a car made a left turn directly in front of me. It happened so fast and I couldn’t stop. I hit my brakes and plowed into the car.

There was a sickening thud, and my car screeched to a halt. In slow motion my body whipped forward and I heard a crunching noise as I hit the steering wheel.

Now it was quiet. I sat there and realized that I was very wet. I looked down at all the blood on my lap – it was pouring from my mouth. It seemed strange that I didn’t feel any pain, though.

I don’t usually share the card covers, but this one was special. I used to play that song by Gordon Lightfoot. Carol sent me this one. Clicking on this makes it larger.

My friends rallied around me after that car accident. Marge was even worried about my poor car (It was totalled).

My journey has been so fascinating for me. As I have been rediscovering my songwriting passion, the past and the present have completely intersected!

When I began playing my guitar in February – I pulled out my songbook that held all of my original songs. There were approximately, thirty songs. I only remembered twenty of them, and it was mostly due to an old, cassette I had recorded in 1980. Earlier this year when I reconnected with Steve, my childhood friend, he offered to make me a digital copy of that cassette. At that time, I had no idea how to play or edit songs on my computer.

I now edit all of my own “lesson clips,” and home recordings. I have learned so much on my computer about music!

I put aside all the song sheets for songs I had no recollection of. As I became close to finishing the recordings of all the songs I remembered, I decided to pull out those old, song sheets.

Several of them captivated me with their chord progressions – but not with the lyrics. A month ago, I decided to work on two of them. One was the song I recently recorded, “It You Should See Me Again” and the other was “It Might Have Been.”

My song “It Might Have Been,” was written in 1980 when I was twenty years old. It was at the time that I became engaged.

I wasn’t sure about the lyrics to this particular song. Last month, when I sang the lyrics about “kissing in an ocean mist,” I felt fairly embarrassed! However, with the melody I was transported back to that period in my life.

This song reminded me a lot of my song “Crystal Oceans.” I only remembered the song’s melody on the very first line with the title. It motivated me enough to want to expand the song. Since I had no memory of the melody, I had to painstakingly construct one. It took me several weeks.

When I was finished, I enjoyed singing this song so much that I played it at Kulak’s Woodshed a few days ago. I became quite excited to embrace my vocal range – I went for a super, high note because it just felt like it belonged in my song. Why not?

My journey has been all about joy and taking chances. I continue to feel lighter and freer every single day.

I am able to share more background on “It Might Have Been.”

The three verses speak to my relationship with Michael. The first verse was our romance. The second verse was when I left him, because he was far too serious for me.

Then there was the last verse. I wrote: “It might have been, when I called to you in my pain . . .”

In 1980, I was in a car accident about a block from my home. It was a painful experience for me at that time in my life. However, it was not a huge trauma compared to later events in my life!

My accident was prior to my becoming engaged. It was not my fault. My seat belt had been broken – I did have the lap part on, but not the shoulder harness. In those days they were separate, and my father hadn’t gotten around to having it fixed for me.

My head hit the steering wheel and my lower teeth broke through my chin, leaving a gaping hole. I remember there was a lot of blood, but no pain.

After the impact, I sat for a moment and got out of my car. I was told to lie down on the pavement. Unfortunately, one of our neighbors was driving by and saw my wrecked car, and me lying on the ground, as well.

I can only imagine how it went when she raced to get my mother, approaching her with an ashen face and shaking voice! My mother came immediately, however, rather than wait for an ambulance my mother decided to drive me to the emergency room. I had to wait almost six hours to get stitches on my face.

It was a big mistake not to have a plastic surgeon do the repair on my face. When my oldest son was bitten on his face by a dog, I had a plastic surgeon called in as a result of this lesson. I was left with a prominent scar on my chin. Unfortunately, the scar did not heal well, and every time I smiled I had a pulling, crooked grin.

Two years later, I had plastic surgery to minimize my “keloid scar” – as it was called.

A few months after the car accident, I appreciated my relationship with Michael very much and decided I was ready to get married.

Cheryl’s cards to me were always especially loving.

I entered George’s studio this morning. I told him I was tired. Usually I can manage with only four hours of sleep, but today I was dragging a little.

I recorded the guitar track fairly quickly – it wasn’t too complicated. I did resolve my issue of whether to repeat certain chords on the first line of each verse. I decided not to draw it out so long.

I was about to sing. “George, this is my last song for a while – I have nothing left for you to arrange,” I said. I felt wistful as I said that.

At that moment, I felt a wave of tears wash over me. I was completely emotional as salty tears filled my eyes and throat. I was about to sing about kissing and it had been such a long time since I have had romance in my life.

I cleared my throat, and gathered my emotions. I sang my song with complete abandon and was transported back.

IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

It might have been the very first time we kissed

lightly sprayed by an ocean mist,

my mind was in a blur

I remember how shy you were

–

No, it might have been the time that I left you

Loneliness filled my dreams; you were my closest friend

and longing in my heart wouldn’t end

CHORUS:

I’d never felt that way before

love was something new

I often wonder when it was

I fell in love with you

It might have been the time I called to you in my pain

As I shook, you held me close; with you I’m not afraid

and through those darkest nights you stayed

–

CHORUS

–

All those times, so long ago

Are in my memory

I still remember how you loved me

–

CHORUS

–

All those times: when we first kissed, when I left you,

when I called to you, it might have been . . .

–

Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tagged acoustic guitar, composing, creativity, Daily Life, guitar, I often wonder when it was, Judy Unger, Love was something new, lovesong, lovesongs, lyric development, lyrics, marraige, Music, Ordinary Life, original songs, performing, singing, songs about love, songwriting, voice lessons | Leave a comment

THE PAINS AND JOYS OF WHAT WE ARE

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Judy

The Pains and Joys of What We Are. Written 8/23/79 by Carol for Judy.

In February of this year, I dug inside the two, file boxes in my closet that were filled with memorabilia of my life. My boxes held hundreds of cards, letters, and interesting items going back to preschool..

Last night, I opened the boxes again. I wanted to see if I had any cards from my friend, Carol. I will be seeing her this week for the first time after thirty-one years! I thought it might be interesting to find some cards to add to my story. I ended up with a stack of new material!

In addition to the two, file boxes. I have one very special box that was made for me on my twenty-first birthday by my friend, Bonnie. I never mention Bonnie because I’ve been sad that we lost touch when Jason was ill. I sent her a letter asking why I didn’t hear from her, and never got a response.

Bonnie and I traveled to the east coast before my formal wedding. It was my first experience on a commercial airplane (Mike had arranged for me to go on a small plane a few weeks before). I was also my first experience of being far away from home. I have wonderful memories of that trip.

I’ve often wondered if I’ll reconnect with Bonnie again someday.

Bonnie and I had a lot of adventures together.

Inside my special box were many cards from Cheryl, some of which I already had scanned and put into the book I made for her before she died.

It was in there that I found some cards from Carol. As I read a certain one, I was simply astounded. It was beautiful!

I decided to share it with her this morning.

Inside my “special box.”

My wood-laminated memory box given to me by my friend, Bonnie. We were very close. I wish I had a copy of the picture of me with my guitar on the phone on the left side of the cover.

On Nov 2, 2010, Judy wrote:

Good morning, Carol!

My journey has been so fascinating for me. I have no idea why, but I decided to go back into my memorabilia boxes last night.

I realized that I hadn’t shared any cards from you and wanted to find something! Well, I came across an amazing note that you wrote to me after our evening at the Hollywood Bowl. I could scarcely believe it!

Here’s a transcription of your note (as well as the actual note).

Love, Judy

Ps. It was beautiful writing, by the way.

For Judy

We have long agreed

that no earthly force

can sever our bond of friendship

much have we shared,

so many trials of our unity;

now, this ultimate test.

All that was unsaid

is now divulged;

A floodgate has opened, unforeseen.

How could we have known

What words our confidence would lead to?

Our heads are spinning,

Our insecurities aroused.

Are we strong enough

To stay afloat

in this torrent of disclosure?

But I know the answer.

My trust in you,

In us,

Supersedes all doubt.

I trust you with my life and soul,

I have faith in your understanding.

If our love is worth

Anything at all

And I know that

It is worth the world to us,

Then it will but grow stronger

And we will be ever closer,

Better able to share

The pains and joys of what we are.

I love you, Carol

I know, I know – I’ve shown myself in a bikini enough already!

On Nov 2, 2010, Carol wrote:

Oh, my word, Judy. I don’t know what to say. I don’t remember writing that poem and I feel so chastened and sorry that in spite of my affirmations of love and trust, we still lost touch. Still, I know that I meant every word. And I have missed you so much over the years. Thank you for sharing this. I’m so looking forward to seeing you on Thursday!

Love, Carol

Carol,

The LAST thing I would want is for you to feel chastened! We both stayed out of touch – it wasn’t just you. And honestly, for me to read such a BEAUTIFUL poem written for me – I am still so honored. It doesn’t matter that we lost touch. The feelings were there.

I was unable to maintain friendship with anyone for many of those 30 years. So how much better it is now that I am open again and happy to reconnect!!!!

Love, Judy

I found a lot of wonderful items in those boxes. I was thinking my blog was reaching a final destination with the end of my song recordings; however, I have a large stack of items to scan now.

Once again, the “writer inside” of me has emerged. I can’t believe how much I still want to write about!

I have continued to correspond with Sam, and it has been very interesting for me. He has been reading my blog. Sam was very complimentary when he suggested a career opportunity for me that could “provide me with a steady stream of revenue.”

I replied to him and felt myself twist into knots as I wrote my response. It was the reminder of how much I had tormented myself with the career change that was thrust upon me five years ago.

It was then that I had so much clarity! I clearly am going to continue to do exactly what I am doing regardless of revenue.

Although I’m sorry if this affects my family, I am finally going to live the rest of my life doing what I love. I have made a lot of sacrifices through the years, and I am not waiting any longer to be alive. Being creative is my life force! Without it, I feel my heart shriveling up and dying inside.

I will do whatever is necessary to maintain this creative renaissance.

I am confident of my value, and I cannot see myself doing anything other than what I am doing.

My creative writing back then was cute – a “nasty recipe!” I wrote this when I was thirteen-years-old.

This really had me cracking up!

A recent picture from performing at an open mic.

Tagged career change, childhood friendship, Friendship, writing | 1 Comment

IF YOU SHOULD SEE ME

Posted on October 31, 2010 by Judy

PEACHES LESSON 10/29/10 – “IF YOU SHOULD SEE ME”–

Lately, balancing my ordinary life with my ambitions has been challenging. I am writing for two blogs, performing, perfecting songs, and recording them.

It is also not a simple thing to record a song. Quite often, I need to reconstruct my song’s format; sometimes I change lyrics or chords around. Before going to see George to record my song, I must be certain of those things.

My “Journey’s Insight” has unfolded with the stories behind my songs. Perhaps I was supposed to end with my wedding song, which was my last musical composition. However, it seems that it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve rediscovered more songs that are worthy of recording. I have been practicing them for a few weeks.

I am amazed at how my blog has grown so large. I enjoy writing and sharing, so I plan to continue. Also, lately my journey has become very interesting for me!

Originally, the song “If You Should See Me,” was one that I probably wrote when I was separated from Michael. However, I am not sure, and it’s quite possible it was written for Sam.

I experienced a lot of indecision when I was trying to decide whom I would marry!

It was interesting to record a song that addressed my memories of indecision during my time with Sam. I was very torn and conflicted; I like the idea of singing this song now with all my insight!

I still have eight more song sheets to draw from if I choose to. I don’t remember the melodies to most of these songs, however, I like some of the chord progressions.

My heart has been aching lately with all the poignant feelings from remembering my youth. I might actually be able to write a new song at some point. Just thinking about that is very exciting for me!

Today, when I went to George’s studio to finish my arrangement of this song, I told him I felt a little sad that I only had one song left that was ready to record.

George told me he had been thinking about my songwriting and wanted to share some thoughts he had about that.

He said, “Jude, I have a theory. My feeling is that the best word to describe what you’ve been doing with your song recording is purging. You are purging out everything in order to have a clean slate to begin new stuff. Once you’re empty, I think you’re going to be coming out with some new things!”

I told George – writing a song was a lot of contemplation and hard work. I hadn’t really composed any serious music in a long time!

I said, “George, there’s no way I’m coming to you with a new song weekly! Don’t expect me to just pop one out every week!”

To which George replied, “Jude, I disagree. I think you’ll be popping out songs in a day!”

I grinned in amazement at the thought. My next, upcoming song has been sounding very nice for me. I’m looking forward to hearing a beautiful arrangement, which I’m certain George will create for it.

IF YOU SHOULD SEE ME

Wading through marshes in my mind

hoping I’ll see you again

searching for nothing, I was so blind

hoping I’ll see you again

CHORUS:

But if you should see me

you’d think I would rather

be out somewhere looking for more

but if you should see me

what would it matter?

‘cause I’ve had all my chances before

Fading through passages of my life

hoping I’ll see you again

feeling regret for being unkind

hoping I’ll see you again

CHORUS

Facing tomorrow, what will I find?

if you should see me again . . .

Sometimes I’ve wondered, what is my fate?

Insight, it often comes late

CHORUS

Facing tomorrow, what will I find?

if you should see me again . . .

I tend to close my eyes a lot when I sing. I try to remember not to, but it’s hard.

This week truly reminded me that I was on a journey. I felt like I had traveled so very far in my life from the time when I was a teenager. There were many different paths I could have taken. How did I know which ones to follow to get to the place where I am now?

I didn’t find my insight until this morning. With clarity comes peace. I am appreciative and grateful for my clarity!

When I was younger and making those enormous “life choices” regarding a husband and career, I was filled with uncertainty and doubt. It was interesting this week to record my song that spoke exactly to that subject!

However, I am grateful that I followed my intuition, despite the immaturity of youth, which certainly made things more complicated.

An old Halloween memory. Jason loved trick or treating, but was unable to eat candy without vomiting after.

This week, I briefly did wonder what my life might have been like had I married Sam, my former boyfriend. I think that was a natural thought process.

As I read and wrote pages and pages to and from both Carol and Sam this week, my confusion eventually turned into clarity. Carol wrote out the reasons for them not getting married. It was much more about her youth and uncertainty, than about anything he had done.

Both Carol and I had some striking similarities, because our mothers influenced us greatly in making our decisions. She had no regrets.

The part that was truly important for me, was reading her realization of following her intuition on her life’s journey.

Marriage is challenging. However, I love my husband and although there are times that I long for the romantic love of my youth, I celebrate how fortunate it was that I chose someone who has been completely supportive of my journey. When it started out as an artistic journey, he was there for me, too. Now if only he would be less grouchy after work! However, after I feed him a “snack,” he’s much better!

What has been most beautiful for me this week was that I have reconnected and added two more friends into my life.

There is always a place in my life for caring, good friends!

New Halloween memories: Our little “devil,” named Killer in his Halloween costume!

This past Saturday, it was a beautiful morning. As I drove to see my hypnotherapist, Connie, I marveled at the amazing and dramatic sky that morning. There were intense colors and textures everywhere I looked, but I needed to keep my eyes on the freeway.

I walked through the garden toward her guesthouse. I felt so alive as I inhaled the exquisite fragrance of flowers around me.

After perhaps two years of working with her, I decided I was finally ready.

I left the session feeling calm. The tearstains on my cheeks were still damp, but my heart was light. While under hypnosis, I was finally able to say all the things that were deeply buried inside of me for over thirty years. I told my mother how I felt about her insistence that I marry when I did.

My transformation was complete. I had left behind the person I used to be since the age of 21. My different voice, personality, and thoughts had me feeling as if I had entered a time machine. I felt as young as I did when I was twenty, but I carried all of the wisdom and insight from my journey of the last thirty-one years.

I was indescribably happy.