Tag Archives: GRIEF RELATED

ALL MY LIFE NEVER PREPARED ME

There was another tape still left – it was from Jason’s funeral. When Jason died, the funeral was scheduled two days later. I wanted to say something, but decided it would be far too difficult to speak at my child’s funeral. Instead, I made a speech on a cassette, which was played to a hushed audience in a crowded chapel. Continue reading

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WHEN YOU’VE LEFT, YOU’LL STILL BE WITH ME

At this time in my life, I have been reconnecting with many old friends. I began writing in February, and one of my first posts was about tennis (Post #8). This story is a follow up about my experience of losing one of my good tennis friends, Linda. Continue reading

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HEART-TORN LYRIC AND A STRUM

I was under hypnosis. I was asked if there was a color to describe the sensation of longing, which I formerly termed an “ache.” I said, “I do not see colors – this longing is felt as a squeezing sensation; between my heart and my stomach. It forces me to play or hear music for relief. Instead of imagining a color, I’d rather hear music – especially soothing is my theme song, Farewell.” Continue reading

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THE TIMES IT TORE MY PRIDE

The title for this post comes from lyrics to my song, “Through My Music.” It absolutely refers to my feelings about “putting myself out there” and feeling squashed. The full lyric line is: Through my music I forget the times it tore my pride, but somehow I’m still playing
for comfort while alone. I might have had doubts about whether my songs that are left are “good enough” to record and share, but I don’t anymore. I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. My life feels like a musical. When I’ve gone to a musical, not every song is a hit. Therefore, even my songs that are unconventional can still be recorded if that’s what I want to do. Continue reading

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