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Author Archives: Judy
About Judy
I'm an illustrator by profession. At this juncture in my life, I am pursuing my dream of writing and composing music. Every day of my life is precious!A SOMBER, GRAY SKY DARKENS ABOVE
When I was suffering with grief, I didn’t want to hear whether anything “good” came out of a child’s death. At that moment in time, all I wanted was for him to come back to life! Feeling that something “purposeful” could come out of his death would be to acknowledge something selfish. I didn’t want to there to be any purpose or benefit to his death! It was inconceivable. Continue reading →
Tagged acoustic guitar, compassionate friends, composing, death, death of a child, grief, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, guitar, healing, healing and grief, hope of healing, inspiration, loss, maintaining hope, original songs, performing, singing, songwriting, survival of grief
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THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 2
As far as the analogy to a “car wreck” goes, unfortunately deep grief wrecks lives. I believe there is a sense of unfairness to the loss of someone that didn’t get a chance to live a full life (and that includes an infant, stillbirth, and miscarriage). Everyone dies, but when it happens before someone even had a chance to experience a full life – perhaps that is where so much of the sadness lies. However, there is certainly grief with losing anyone, even someone older. I have grieved for other things in my life besides the death of my son. With autism, there is also the issue about unfairness for the additional hurdles in life. However, I never want my scars to define me. Coping with those scars were easier for me when I became less focused on why the accident happened and more focused on how I could compensate and adjust. Unfortunately, like a car wreck – accidents happen. And there are no seatbelts for grief either!
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Posted in Grief Educational
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Tagged amputation of the soul, Bereavement and marriage, compassionate friends, death, death of a child, Friendship, grief, grief advice, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, healing, healing from grief, hopefulness, inspiration, loss, lyric writing, men and women grieve differently, overcoming grief, surviving grief, unresolved grief
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WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO EASE MY PAIN INSIDE
I decided that community support had made a huge difference for me. It wasn’t simply about my search to find someone to support me. It was about my wanting to help others with their grief; that was something that had actually helped me from the very beginning. That was why I had gone to help Lori when I was only in my second year of bereavement! This “club of bereaved parents” that I belong to might never have been one I planned on joining, but it certainly made my grief journey far less lonely for me.
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Posted in Grief Educational
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Tagged compassionate friends, grief bereavement "Loss of a Child", GRIEF RELATED, loss
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THE AMPUTATION OF MY SOUL, PART 1
I really could describe my grief as an amputation of my soul. It was not visible, but it left scars that are there FOREVER. For me, healing is actually an appropriate word to apply to grief. Healing implies a wound, and with wounds there are scars.
There will sometimes be thoughtless remarks made by those who “don’t understand” what grief feels like. There will often be kind, compassionate gestures made by those who want to understand and to help. But in the end, grief is probably the loneliest journey a human faces when they lose someone they love. Continue reading →
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