Just after the New Year began, I peeked at an online dating site and began writing a profile.
I pride myself for being a heartfelt writer, but writing a profile on a dating site was far different than writing for my blog. I do find humor with my first attempt. It was far too wordy and waaaaay too honest.
My life is very different now and not at all like I imagined when I was younger. I devoted myself to my children and parents. I was unhappily married. I suffered through the death of one of my children.
But everything changed for me when I discovered my love for music. I became joyful and music helped me cope through the deaths of my parents. I found happiness and felt excited about life again.
I chose to get divorced after 31 years. I have been on my own now for 5 years.
I’m grateful for every day of my life. Today, I am peaceful and amazed that I had the courage to change my life.
I have wondered why I was willing to consider online dating. It’s pretty scary for me. Mostly, I feel like I’m missing intimacy in my life. I often don’t have anyone to talk to except my sons – and I certainly don’t tell them all of my thoughts.
I know I’m intelligent and have a great sense of humor. I think it would be wonderful for me to enjoy the company of a many who is kind and comfortable to be with. But since I haven’t dated in decades, it’s all very new for me.
I read the newspaper every day. I love going to the movies and sometimes go alone. I don’t read much even though I am an avid writer.
I love food and enjoy cooking – my youngest son, who is 20, often joins me in the kitchen.
After my divorce, I put on a lot of weight. But I’m very proud that I have taken off most of it. I recently lost 35 pounds and am hoping to lose more.
As much as I love food, I’m very careful what I’m eating these days. I never want to fall back to being heavy the way I was. Healthy is my motto and I enjoy fruits and veggies so much more now!
IN MY OWN WORDS
I’m a creative person. Music has been my passion for the last 7 years. I play guitar and regularly perform my original songs.
However, my profession is one of a commercial artist. I’ve been illustrating since I graduated college. My work is very realistic and my paintings are on labels in the supermarket. It’s been a great career and I still receive assignments, although I use the computer a lot more now.
I was married for 31 years. The whole idea of a new relationship is very scary for me. I’ve decided to be courageous and view this as taking small steps toward meeting new people and enjoying new situations.
I was very close to my parents and they are gone now. My children are close to me. I have two sons that live with me. I chose to live in the same place where I grew up after my divorce. I’m surrounded my many memories of my past.
I’M LOOKING FOR…
Someone who understands me and whom I feel safe with. I’m not really able to say that I’m looking for a partner – my past experience has left me with trust issues. I really don’t know what a “good relationship” looks like.
I was a caregiver for many years – I took care of my childrens’ needs and was an advocate for them during their school years. Thankfully, they are doing well now. Later on, I took care of my parents.
Today, I am taking care of myself. I’m not looking to take care of anyone or have someone take care of me. I am ready to explore and discover new things. I’d love to travel more and it would be much more meaningful if I had the company of someone special.
I decided after a month to change my profile. I was horrified at how many personal things I had shared.
I thought it might be fun to use a service where a professional writer created my profile. This would definitely be interesting. I paid a small fee and was sent a questionnaire.
Below is what I received back. Clearly, this was a very different writing style than mine!
Life’s too short to not enjoy as much as you can!
IN MY OWN WORDS
Being a commercial artist allows me a flexible schedule, which gives me time to both sing and compose music.
I love to try new things, which is part of why I love traveling! I’ve scuba dived and would love to get to Europe and to U.S. National Parks. I’d love to go camping, too!
I am filled with joy for life and would love someone who shares that feeling. I’d connect best with someone who is kind, comfortable, and intelligent (who isn’t intimidated by an intelligent woman!).
Cooking, taking pictures, 70’s folk music, friends, movies, and time spent outdoors.
I am a commercial freelance illustrator. My paintings are on many supermarket labels, which is quite fun!
Not long after I joined, I saw a bunch of messages in my in-box. I quickly learned which ones were scams, because they were all very similar. I actually didn’t realize it at first, but caught on.
The messages went, “I have a good friend and he’s a widower. I shared your profile with him and he would love to meet you. Please call this number.”
Finally, I received a message that seemed real. He complimented me on my smile and asked me a few questions. I looked at his profile picture and he had a warm smile, which I found very attractive.
After sending a few messages back and forth, he suggested we speak on the phone and shared his number. My heart was pounding. This was definitely getting scary. I took a deep breath and sent him a text that evening.