I share my arrangement for my song “Someone To Love You.” This song is part of my musical life as I continue having new adventures!
I am 57 and it was almost 40 years since I’d gone on a date. Looking at a dating site was one thing, but actually meeting someone was definitely out of my comfort zone. Because I felt a different energy and excitement, I decided it was good for me.
When I received a message that didn’t sound pasted and copied, I went to look at the man’s profile. He looked nice and I wrote him back. He shared his number and I decided to text him.
He started out by thanking me for texting him. Then he asked me how my day went.
I shared a few things I’d done and thanked him for asking. Except auto-correct put:
“Thanks for faking!”
I jumped when I saw that and quickly wrote, “Darn that auto-correct! I meant thanks for asking!”
He asked me how long I’d been on the dating site and I told him it was about a month. He wrote:
“I was just curious why an angel like you wasn’t picked yet. Maybe it’s my lucky month to have connected with you. Or rather, maybe all men are just blind!!”
I grinned and wrote:
“Aw, thank you! You’re sweet. I’m plain – not much into glamor! Now I’m really smiling. So many of those messages I’ve gotten are cut and pasted. You seem like a real person – a really nice person, too.
“You are welcome. I feel so cool that I could make you smile. That simply implies you are a very happy person yourself; as it takes just a little endeavor to make a happy person smile.”
I enjoyed texting with this man. He said nice things and sounded very interesting. His name was a little complicated because his father was Italian. He told me he loved his work; he had an engineering degree and designed custom cars.
He was a widower and we wrote about our children. It was touching when he wrote that he had decided it was time to embrace life again. It was well after midnight when I said good night. I told him I was looking forward to speaking with him the next day.
In the morning, I wrote him a message and told him when I was available to talk. In the evening I was going out with my girlfriends and wouldn’t be around. I didn’t hear anything from him until late afternoon and I told him I’d text him when I was home later in the evening.
I looked forward to seeing my friends. I waited until the other three women had ordered their food and then I dropped my bombshell. “Guess what?” I said, “You won’t believe this, but I’ve actually signed up for online dating!”
All of my friends practically jumped up. They clapped and their eyes collectively widened with surprise – they were so excited for me. It was fun to see their reaction; these were women who had seen me suffer with caregiving, raising teenagers, going through my divorce and dealing with chronic eye problems. Their love and support had helped me through all of that. Being able to share something uplifting and wonderful put me on a cloud.
I took a deep breath and said slowly, “I think I might have met someone!”
They all asked me for his name. And then they wanted to know if I had could share his picture. I went to the online dating site to find it. “He’s tall and has a warm smile,” I effused.
I drove home from the dinner grinning and not long after I got home I received emails from two of my friends. Their messages were the same.
“Watch out! There’s nothing that shows up with that guy’s name. In fact, that picture is of someone else! Red flag!”
My head was spinning. I never knew about Google reverse image search. I was very lucky to have seen my friends that night.
The next morning, I received another message from him asking how I was. I wrote: “Who are you?”
What ensued was a dialog of him trying to understand why I didn’t trust him. He was surprised that his picture was someone else’s. I suggested he try a Google reverse image search and he wrote:
“Never mind; forget about it.”
I was very naïve, for sure. Not only had I allowed myself to be duped – I showed him how he could cover his tracks better in the future.
I thanked my friends profusely. One friend, Liana, told me she was happy to shadow me on any of my future dates. I was very touched by her offer.
My other friend Patty was very worldly. I thanked her so much for watching my back and wrote an email saying:
“Patty, this has been so shocking to me – but really a necessary lesson. I was so dumb!”
Patty’s reply was wise and her message definitely helped me view my experience in a much more helpful way.
“Hi Judy, I’m so sorry this happened. I know how exciting it can be when a cute guy is interested. You are NOT DUMB! You just don’t have a whole lot of experience yet. Give it time. Continue to cast your line and go on some dates with no expectation. Just have fun. It’s nerve-wracking at first, but it’ll get easier I promise.
Pretty soon, you’ll have a load more material to blog about! Some funny… some not so funny. You’ll meet nice guys… guys who just want to get laid…guys you want to smack… and guys who might reject you. And that’s ok. Rejection is protection. ALWAYS! Just please keep in mind that you have the power. Take care Judy. Love you!
Two months later, I received a message from a man who saw my profile on a networking site. He wrote:
How are you doing today? I was actually searching for an acquaintance when I came across your profile. I must confess you are pretty and this is me being honest and not just mere flattery.You caught my eye; I am interested in communicating more and sharing more about me with you and hope to learn more about you too that is if you are single and interested in communicating further.
I do believe everything is possible if we put our mind and heart together just like I believe that good things can be found in the least places. I hope to hear from you soon. Till then stay blessed.
Warm Regards, Daniel
I replied to his message and wrote:
Thank you for your honest and bold message – I smiled reading it. As far as your asking if I’m single – I am!
I have an open heart and am very blessed so your words rang sweetly to me. We can communicate more. I’d like to know more about you and I’m happy to answer any questions you might have.
Take care, Judy
I received a long message back from Daniel. He shared pictures and his life story. He was a widower who lost his wife and daughter in a car accident. He lived somewhere in California, but he didn’t say exactly where, so I asked him.
His next message was even longer and he didn’t answer my question. I scratched my head. Then I went and uploaded his picture to Google for a reverse image search.
Bingo! It said, “Beware of this man, he is a scammer.”
I laughed out loud! Thankfully my lessons were paying off.
But by then, I had actually met a nice man and went out on my first date in decades. It was a wonderful experience.
I am very proud that I’ve had the courage to take my chances through such a jungle of deception!