EVERY SEASON – PART 2

My sister-in-law, Jo, created this card for me. She and my brother always remember Jason’s birthday.

My sister-in-law, Jo, created this card for me. She and my brother always remember Jason’s birthday.

Link to a slideshow with a new acoustic recording:

Click the link below to hear my latest vocal on an arrangement of this song:

EVERY SEASON #2-3/26/16 Copyright 2016 by Judy Unger

Link to Part 1 of this story: EVERY SEASON-PART 1

Leaf 1

It is Memorial Day weekend. For me, it is definitely a time of memorializing; two days ago was the fourth anniversary of my father’s death and today is Jason’s birthday.

Jason died in 1992 at the age of five. Today he would have been 29 years old if he had lived.

I wouldn’t say I am in a wonderful place at the moment (last week I had a bad reaction to an eye treatment that was supposed to help me). But despite that, I am truly inspired because I have been writing a new song.

Despite the pain in my eyes and poignant memories of my father and Jason, last week I began writing lyrics for a song that I have tentatively named “The Key.”

It’s very unusual for me to write lyrics before composing chords and melodies, but I am open to writing a song in any way where it reveals itself. After a week, the chords are already in place as I continue to refine the lyrics. The melody is very complex and not yet set for me. But the process of experimenting is a beautiful one and I am completely open to sharing a rough recording below on my blog.

Click the blue link to hear a preliminary recording:

The Key Acoustic in progress 6/8/16 Copyright 2016 by Judy Unger

This morning, I had a sweet revelation about how the new song that came to uplift me has a connection to my older song named “Every Season.”

Every Season holds a spot in my song garden of being the very first new song that I composed as an older woman. Before that, I had 30 songs written as a young girl and a lapse of thirty years in between.

Leaf 7

Because Jason died in the fall, autumn is the season that most often comes to mind related to his death. But springtime carries a different kind of heartache because of his birthday at the end of May. Every year starting in April, I feel memories resurfacing as the season changes from spring to summer.

This holiday weekend carries many memories: birthday parties during the five years that Jason lived . . . memories with other special people in my life who are no longer here . . . and I remember closely sharing everything with my parents who are gone.

These are two story covers I created using autumn imagery.

These are two story covers I created using autumn imagery.

This watercolor I painted in college, became the background for a memorial that hung at Jason’s Preschool for many years.

This watercolor I painted in college, became the background for a memorial that hung at Jason’s Preschool for many years.

This song cover for “Every Season” shows springtime because I really feel this song around his birthday.

This song cover for “Every Season” shows springtime because I really feel this song around his birthday.

My songs are a musical of my life; it makes perfect sense that they build upon one another as life reveals lessons for me with every twist and turn.

When I wrote “Every Season” in 2011, it helped me to express my lingering sadness. My line of “my sadness will always be” is still true for me.

Sadness will always be

Saying that I’ve “healed” from deep grief doesn’t mean I am not sad remembering the child I loved who died.

I am grateful that I no longer carry the intense pain I lived with during my early years of grief. I never believed I’d ever feel joy again – but I did. That was a huge achievement for me after suffering such a terrible loss. It is the reason I am able to believe that I’ve healed.

Leaf 8

A few weeks ago when I wrote my blog story IMPRISONED BY GRIEF AND MY KEY, I had no idea that it was going to become a song.

you come back to me

On Every Season, I have two lines that lead to the profound message of my song “The Key.” They are: “you always return” and “you come back to me.”

you always return

Leaf 6 Every Season set the stage for my amazing revelation related to exiting the “prison of grief” that I lived in for decades.

I left that dismal place because I found a key. I am so grateful he came back to give me that key!

What I loved most

Leaves and Hand

© 2016 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Judy

I'm an illustrator by profession. At this juncture in my life, I am pursuing my dream of writing and composing music. Every day of my life is precious!
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11 Responses to EVERY SEASON – PART 2

  1. Belinda O says:

    Happy Birthday, Jason.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Carol Cross says:

    Thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So beautiful. I love how you write “every season you come back to me.” It’s so true that different times of the year hold different memories. You are a wonderful mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy says:

      Thank you so much. That song held lyrics for my new song “The Key.” I would love to know what you think about how that one is coming out. I realize too, that other songs were born from this one. My song “My Shining Star” is from the line “You always return on a starry night sky.”

      I appreciate your words very much. I feel those seasons and the memories – thankfully, more of the happier ones now.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think “The Key” is very powerful. To me, it spoke about finding your way through grief without letting go of the person you lost. I don’t thing you ever have to “Let go” or “get past” the loss. I believe you just learn to live a different life. At some point, the sentence is over. You explained it beautifully in stating “it was our love it set me free.” And also with “But you came back to give me the key.” That is a very uplifting and empowering idea. That the person you lose is the one who can set you free from your grief.

    Like

    • Judy says:

      Thank you so much for your feedback – it means so much to me. I just updated that recording with a newer one because I’m still refining the lyrics. But you really understand the message because you have gone through your own horror of grief. I didn’t like singing “My sentence was over” – it didn’t sound exactly like what I wanted to say. i’ve changed it to: “The prison doors opened.” I don’t like to think of grief as a sentence of punishment. But for me it was a key knowing that he loves me so much and my suffering wasn’t a place for me to live out the rest of my life in. I won’t forget your words or Carol Ann.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Jackie Ho says:

    Hi Judy,
    I recently came across your blog and think you have a great story to share. I’m working on a video (mini-documentary) project about people with chronic dry eye, and I’d love to speak with you to see if you’d be interested in participating. I hope to speak with you soon!

    Like

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