DIARY ENTRY FROM 1979 (word for word)
Well, she’s finally written again. What “deep” thoughts have prompted you to write again? Well – I don’t know. I have been more depressed and I didn’t write. I’m glad I have friends – through these months it’s carried me through. But I have a very special friend that I would like to write to.
There have been many times where I have let you down and not done you justice. You, on the other hand, have always been there. Whenever I was down, you cheered me up. You kept me company when everyone else was busy. Through you, I’ve made many friends, and have become popular. You’ve given me confidence, comfort, and the ability to teach and learn. I love you more than anything else in the world – and remember my guitar – even if I ever let you down in my anger and frustration, and I blame you rather than myself – know that I will never desert you.
Do I even think for one minute that no one else has a life busier than mine? Forget it! People much busier than myself surround me!
Last night I had a wonderful break. I went with a girlfriend to see a “chick flick.” As usual, I was running about ten minutes late. As I drove past the nursing facility where my mom was, I kicked myself. I should have squeezed in a visit, especially since I was driving right past. Of course, since I was already ten minutes late, it was hard to imagine when I could have squeezed it in.
Driving time has become the perfect time for me to take care of my phone calls. Guess whom I often need to call? My mother and my father; because they do not live together at their nursing facility, I cannot make a single call to both of them anymore.
Recently, my mother cannot call me because she has had great difficulty with dialing a telephone. It must be another example of the aging process. She keeps blaming her telephone for “not working.” One day she asked me, “Honey, do I dial the dash between the numbers?” Writing this just made me very sad.
When I spoke with my mother, she had so much anxiety! It was because she had an x-ray taken that morning and she was very worried about the results. I told her I would check for her.
I called the nursing station. The x-ray was normal. I called her back. What was interesting to me, was how much I accomplished in only five minutes. I was super daughter again. For my mom, the x-ray result was her whole existence all day long. She was relieved. I wondered why the nurses couldn’t understand and just tell her directly ASAP.
My mom said to me just before hanging up, “Honey, I know it’s early (6:45 p.m.), but I’m so exhausted from my worrying, that I’m going to bed!”
I have learned that. Worry saps me of all my energy. It has prepared me for nothing at all. I have learned that there is no point to any of it.
I thoroughly enjoyed meeting my wonderful friend for dinner. She told me that my blog had inspired her. We enjoyed seeing a movie, and the time passed quickly. Afterwards, we went to my car. I had brought my guitar, and enjoyed very much playing a few songs for my friend. It was one of those treasured moments to enjoy. I have many of those moments, lately!
While I was with my friend, my father was over at my home to tutor my oldest son. When I came home around 10:00 p.m., he was waiting for me.
He said he needed me to fix him a microwaveable pancake. Why couldn’t he use the microwave himself anymore? What has happened to this former professor?
I was writing and it was late. I stopped at 11:30 p.m. As I came into my bedroom, I tiptoed since my husband was asleep. I noticed some brown “pieces” of something “unknown” on my bathroom carpet. It looked like one of our animals had left a present for me.
I asked my older son to “take care of it.” He examined it for me.
What was it?
My son said, “Its cat poop.” It must have stuck on one of our cat’s furry behinds. It decided to release itself onto my bathroom carpet!
At least it wasn’t parrot poop.
Speaking of which, I saw the dog licking my shower, yesterday. He licked up the parrot poop. At least one pet is helping out around here!
I didn’t even know that dogs licked showers, I thought only cats did that!
I am off now to illustrate chocolate and vanilla. (The dog has been keeping me company) The picture above of Killer was taken while I was doing photography in my backyard yesterday.
Michael came home from work and looked happy. He sure loves his new car; the Honda CRV. I’ve decided not to borrow it any more. I don’t want to take the chance of spoiling anything.
Rosa was not happy. My dad brought over his laundry for her to do. It was becoming a regular thing. I ignored her irritation as much as possible.
I finally decided it was time to start hanging up the jackets. I have hated being tall sometimes. Everyone else in my family always say, “I can’t reach the hooks! ”The picture below is self-explanatory. (Admission: My jacket is in there, too) I do not believe for one minute that I have a maid. Rosa is an excellent cook, and I am the “shopper.” I need to enlist my children’s help, but they are either too tired, sick, or have homework (lies). HELP!
I love shopping for my family. Why have I stopped worrying about how much everything costs? Answer: Worrying doesn’t help.
What were the chances that the shoes I just bought for my mother would need to be returned? Answer: 100% – I return everything, even if my mom wears them. Let’s hope she lives a long time and does lots of walking.
This evening while I was shopping I thought, “Oh my god, how much dog food should I stock up on? Will the dog be alive in a month?” I decided to be conservative and just get a one-month supply.
© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.