Three weeks ago:

I drifted into the hypnotic sleep quickly and deeply. The peacefulness was so beautiful and I heard Connie’s voice softly say, “Allow an image to form that represents your heart.”

The first thing that came into my mind was a tear. I tried to describe it.

“It’s a crystal teardrop – and is almost like an upside-down heart. It has no facets and is smooth and clear.”

I marveled at the beautiful image I had picked. Just that week, I had sung a vocal for a new arrangement of my song “Crystal Oceans.” Maybe it wasn’t a coincidence that I chose a crystal.

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Then Connie said, “What would the crystal teardrop tell Judy if it could speak?”

“The crystal teardrop would tell her that there is beauty and clarity that results from her tears and sadness. She has a pure heart.”

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After I awoke from hypnosis, Connie and I discussed the image of my crystal teardrop further. I found a negative aspect to it – crystal meant that my heart was like stone, a lyric line I had written describing coldness and lack of feeling. Crystals were hard and cold.

But as Connie and I talked about it more, I realized that crystals were something to be treasured and each one was unique. And crystals grew from powerful forces in nature.

My tears flowed easily. That was why the image came to me.

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Two weeks ago:

I arrived for my hypnotherapy session completely distraught. My eyes were foggy and the sensations were impossible for me to ignore.

There have been several times in my life when I had physical conditions that were definitely stress-related. Over time, those problems resolved. One eye specialist recommended hypnosis as a way to deal with my discomfort related to posterior vitreous detachment.

Now I was suffering at a time when I had less stress than usual in my life. I desperately wished I could solve this mystery. The greatest stress I had was because my eyes were always bothering me!

Connie began our session by helping me with a technique known as “tapping.”

First, I spoke about what I was feeling. She took notes and then our work began.

I followed her lead and she repeated words that I had just said. I repeated those words while at the same time tapping areas of my body in a repetitive fashion.

Tears were pouring from my eyes as I repeated painful phrases:

“I’m angry. This isn’t fair. I don’t want to live with this condition. The doctors told me I’d just get used to it – but I can’t! I could have surgery that might cause me to lose my eyeball! I don’t know what to do. I’m lost!” 

The tapping went on for about ten minutes and then we stopped. Connie asked me how I felt.

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Feelings were all in the forefront now. This technique was excellent at causing me to let down my guard. Tears and feelings kept gushing out.

I sobbed, “Oh, I have a lot of baggage around doctors! After all, my son died following heart surgery when I was told his odds were excellent. They were wrong!”

With those words, I realized that I had not truly let go of past trauma.

I cried and cried. And then I felt better.

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Today I had an appointment with my regular doctor. He was very sympathetic and kind as he looked right into my pained eyes.

I could feel my lip trembling as I thanked him. He told me he would be my advocate and put in a request that my HMO cover the cost for my second opinion. He said it would probably be denied – but it was still worth trying. I felt so grateful for him.

Together we went over my entire history of eye issues that began shortly before I had 3 cataract surgeries in 2012. Since then, I had seen at least five different eye specialists within my HMO and had gone for another outside opinion, which I was not reimbursed for.

Before I left, I mentioned something that Dr. Sam had suggested – was there any rheumatological testing he could do to look for other causes of dry eyes?

My doctor said, “Wow, your friend really knows his stuff.” Yes, I’m going to order lab tests for that right now.

I asked him how long it would be until I’d get a decision from the HMO. He said, “Don’t cancel your outside appointment. If it takes a long time that will actually work in your favor. Let me know what you find out from the doctor you’re seeing at Jules Stein Eye Institute.”

I told him I certainly would.

I walked to my car. My eyes were half closed and I felt like something was crawling under my eyelids. This could not be normal and I hoped I’d get some answers soon.

I closed my eyes and sat in my car. I wanted to listen to a recording of the new song I composed over the weekend.

Even though I didn’t feel well, I was completely lifted out of sadness because God had sent me this new song. It helped me in such a magnificent way.

I was blessed.

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© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.