This past weekend I wrote a new song. It will be named “Angel in the Sky.”

–

My new song has caused me to be quite weepy. Lately, I cry easily and my emotional state has been affected by thinking of Tersia, my new friend in the blogosphere and her dying daughter.

–

I have no judgment about the tears that birthed this special creation. The process of composing a song is like nothing else and I look forward to sharing it soon.

For several months, I have immersed myself in grief. I read other peoples’ sad words and then I write optimistic messages to them. A few weeks ago, I wrote these words on one of my posts: “I absorbed their pain.”

There was no question that my heart was aching when I wrote that. Was I really helping other people with my optimism or bringing myself back into my former sad world?

I’ve written many times that the amputation of my soul was a permanent condition. And I’ve also said that grief is not recoverable.

Such a contradiction to announce that I have healed!

Last week, I delved into this inner conflict during my hypnotherapy session. I decided that I wasn’t actually absorbing other peoples’ pain. The circumstances of others simply triggered my own grief and sadness. I was drawn to it.

So in order to be more consistent, from now on I am going to say that, “I’m still healing,” instead of saying, “I have healed.”

Grief is a process. It will follow me for the rest of my life.

–

–

This picture was taken shortly before Jason died on his fifth birthday.

–

© 2013 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.