myjourneysinsight

YOU ARE MY WINGS – PART 3

Posted on January 15, 2023 by Judy

Two months ago, I requested an appointment with my dry eye doctor, because my eyes were bothering me more than usual. When the doctor said she saw a problem with my macula, my heart froze. My aunt had been completely blind from macular degeneration and my mother suffered also. I knew it was hereditary.

After a scan of my macula, the doctor said, “I have good and bad news. You don’t have macular degeneration, but you do have a macular hole.”

It took me awhile to process what she said. I was devastated. As soon as I got home, I researched it. Another name for what I had was a “macular pucker” – of all things. It was actually very common.

Once my initial panic calmed down, I realized that it’s something I’ve been dealing with for at least 7 years. I’ve had poor spatial awareness since my cataract surgeries in 2012. I easily bump into things and even broke my ankle in 2019. Mostly, I hate that I see so much “fog and floaters” (due to PVD). My dry eyes are a constant struggle and the “fog” was probably related to this.

However, since I’ve had this awhile, my insight was that it has not terribly impacted me. I can still paint, edit music, drive, and even play tennis. Hopefully, it won’t worsen.

This was just another hurdle to add to my list of “aging complaints.” But . . .

Just look at what I am able to still do!

My post title “You Are My Wings” definitely relates to many aspects of my life right now. But with “You Are My Wings,” who is the YOU? I will share my answer at the end of this post.

I recently released an album of older instrumentals and was able to use my illustration for the cover. Clicking on the image is a link to the album.

My most recent painting is named “Hummingbird and Hydrangea.”

It was blissful to paint, and I loved how the hummingbird held tinges of so many colors, especially the purple mirrored by the hydrangea. My painting required incredible patience, due to hundreds of tiny water droplets. For several weeks, I was content to paint a petal or two each day. (More about my technical process is on my other blog “Illustrating My Life”)

I have chosen to look at this time in my life as one of following my dream – of nurturing my creative abilities through art, music, and writing. Even when I’m not doing anything, I release myself from pressure, because I am simply recharging for my next creative burst.

I began to write this post with a few other ideas for titles, all lyric lines from “You Are My Wings.” Here they are:

“I Never Dreamed It’d Happen To Me”

“You’ve Sent Me Soaring”

“My Heart’s Taken Flight”

I chose “You Are My Wings” because it fit well to share my hummingbird painting. But there was no denying the excitement I’m about to share.

I see flying as an analogy to feeling joyful. I am very happy at the moment, because I received a lovely letter back from Barbra Streisand!

Last October, I mailed her a package with a custom 11×14 maze portrait, as well as my book “Beside Me Always.” I patiently looked forward to getting a response back.

I had already received a lovely letter from her foundation before, so I had confidence I would eventually hear something. I knew my maze was definitely unusual.

Every day, I noticed I was uncharacteristically eager to get my mail. And then I opened my mailbox and there was an envelope from her two days ago. I was surprised that I didn’t rush to open it; I felt like I needed to do a few things first.

I undressed and got into my pajamas. I went into the kitchen for a glass of water. I sat down and stared at the envelope for a long time – fingering it and turning it over a few times. I wondered why I was taking my time with it.

I realized that without opening it, there were still endless possibilities to imagine.I didn’t want to break the spell with the reality of those exact words.

I had no expectations when I created my maze of where it would lead. I certainly didn’t even know if I could truly capture Barbra with a medium I hadn’t used for over 40 years.

Finally, I couldn’t wait any longer. I gingerly used a letter opener to slit the envelope and reveal my letter.

What a magnificent surprise!

The wording was so thoughtful. My maze was described as mesmerizing. I was incredulous to learn it was hanging in Barbra’s home office. But complimenting my book and mentioning my deceased son Jason, really blew my mind. This was truly exceptional kindness and compassion.

I was leaping out of my skin with excitement and began to share my joy with friends and family. All the money in the world couldn’t compare to this feeling; this was my reward.

Before drawing a maze, I plan out my areas with a tonal study.

I sent my good news to a dear friend and our exchange was very inspirational. Anita and I went to high school, but don’t see each other often. But I always text her weekly to share about my live acoustic guitar performances on Insight Timer.

Our exchange shines a light on how I live to create versus promote. I prefer to inspire vs. monetize.

ANITA:

In the midst of a chaotic period of time last week, your mazes came into my mind. I thought, “Judy should put a book together and release her mazes!”

And then I thought about your other artwork. I thought about how you do your music every week and just get better and better.

And I realized, if Judy isn’t showing you what to do, Anita, no one else will. So, I’ve decided to work less and get back on my path to being an artist. You have been an inspiration and a source of guidance for me, Judy.

I’ve been off-track for decades. And your text this morning is confirmation from the universe that not only have you gifted me with your artistry, you’ve also been a teacher. Thank you very much. I’m getting to it!

JUDY:

Oh, Anita, you’ve touched my heart so deeply! I never imagined sending my live links to you would lead to such a lovely connection.

Nothing could make me happier than to imagine you getting back to your artistry. It has been a gift for me to explore my creativity at this stage in my life. I realize the impermanence of it – especially with my eyesight. This time is incredibly precious.

Time spent promoting vs. creating is a tough call. I have faith in the universe that the time will come when my art and music will magically expand in unknown ways. But even if I touch only a few people deeply – that is enough for me. I do dream that someday I might reach many more people. And yet, I’m perfectly fine living the life I have without that. What a blessing that is!

I’m so happy with what you wrote and look forward to hearing more about your creative exploration.

ANITA:

Judy, I hear you loud and clear. This week, I decided I’ve had enough of working and need to get back to my art. It’s always been work, work, work and making money – never enough about art.

You’re so right about our physical strength diminishing daily. And you are doubly correct about honoring the time that we have to do it. I feel like I’m starting from scratch. But damn the marketing – I’m with you.

Art will find its way to where it needs to go.

It’s our job to bring it forth.

Dear Judy,

On behalf of Barbra Streisand and The Streisand Foundation, thank you so much for sending the breathtaking maze-portrait (original and print)! We are all entranced by it!

We hope you will enjoy knowing that Ms. Streisand was completely intrigued and impressed by your artwork and will be putting it up at her home office.

The portrait is truly beautiful, mesmerizing, and layered with meaning. Absolutely stunning!

Additionally, your book is incredibly heartfelt and evocative. Truly, Jason is always with you in your art, music, writing, and poetic expressions.

As before, your correspondence was received with great appreciation. Thank you so much, Judy, for sharing your gifts with us.

Sincerely,

Marisa Harrison, Program Assistant for Barbra StreisandMy “Wings” are:

1) the artistic and musical gifts I was born with. But, I have given a gift to myself by exploring them in any way I choose.

2) my vulnerability and willingness to open my heart.

3) the resulting beautiful connections I have made with other hearts that uplift and support me.

Posted in Healing and Hope | Tagged acoustic guitar, artist, Barbra Streisand, colorful, creativity, expressing feelings, healing music, hope, hummingbird, hydrangea, illustrator, inspiration, love song, lyric writing, lyrics, macular hole, macular pucker, maze, Maze art, Music, music and healing, optimism, overcoming grief, photorealism, photorealistic, songwriting, staying positive, touching all the stars, watercolor floral paintings, watercolor painting, Wings, writing, You Are My Wings | 24 Comments

#69 MY AMAZING JOURNEY, PART 3

Posted on January 7, 2023 by Judy

I continue to share my maze journey, which reminds me of how I’ve rediscovered another pursuit I loved during my youth!

ILLUSTRATING MY LIFE

I was amazed how quickly I remembered how to draw mazes after a 40-year break! Since my last post, I’ve explored a few new mazes that I’m excited to share.

I thought a self-portrait would be a fun maze for me to tackle. I wanted to include my guitar and after sorting through lots of photos, I found one that looked like it would work. My first step was to isolate it into black and white areas. The next step was to draw my template outline using Photoshop.

Using a stylus to draw smooth curved lines was challenging. I continually backtracked and erased. And then my stylus lost control. I thought it was the tablet, so I bought a used version of the same one I had. But the problems continued.

It was time for me to upgrade to a newer tablet and pen. It turned out that…

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A NEW PATHWAY – PART 1

Posted on December 21, 2022 by Judy

This college art assignment is an example of doodling that I channeled into my mazes.

Yesterday, I was playing women’s doubles and on every changeover the women were discussing their upcoming travel plans. I was definitely an outlier.

I’ve never been to Europe or any of the other exotic places my friends were excitedly talking about. Perhaps if I had a large sum of money, I would consider taking a trip. But because I have limited income, I’m very careful with my expenditures.

I found it interesting that I wasn’t envious or sad about my situation while listening to my friends. I examined my life for a moment and decided that I’m blessed to be living a vacation year round. Freedom is the path I chose after ending my long marriage in 2012.

I create art and music at my leisure, perform to a loving audience whenever I choose (via live-stream on Insight Timer), and I’m extremely close to all three of my adult children.

But this past year, my journey encountered a new pathway. As if rediscovering the music I loved as a teenager wasn’t enough, I have revived something else I also relished when I was young.

I am drawing mazes again!

My story can best be told with the many images I’ll be sharing.

It all began with reconnecting.

The theme of reconnecting with old friends has been part of my rebirth after I turned 50. Those renewed friendships have been incredibly meaningful.

Earlier this year, I visited with two former Junior High classmates. One friend I hadn’t seen in decades. Our reunion was lovely, and this new classmate warmly invited me to visit her beach house as a houseguest. Her husband knew me, because we had been in the same math class where I had drawn mazes when I was 14 years old.

A month later, I had a lovely overnight visit with this couple and I couldn’t believe what it led to.

The husband hired me to draw a maze, even though I hadn’t drawn one in over 40 years. He suggested that I create a maze in his company’s logo. I was paid generously, which was very much appreciated.

This new pathway was definitely a learning experience. I purchased new pens and ink to experiment with, and utilized my computer to design my maze. I created an outline template and then printed it onto different types of paper to experiment with. Drawing the maze was mindless and actually the easy part.

Now I’ll backtrack to describe the maze book I published at the age of 14. I wrote a post about it on this blog, back in 2011: #44 MY AMAZING JOURNEY-PART 1

I am proud of my unique style of maze drawing. My mazes are actually pictures and incorporate tone. One of the last mazes I drew (before a hiatus of 4 decades) was of Richard Nixon.

I used to pass my mazes around in my classes. I would draw a maze inside outlines of hearts and even my friends’ names. (One friend told me that he has saved one of my mazes all these years!) I created mazes for class yearbooks. One day, my geometry teacher caught me drawing in his class and admonished me. But then he suggested that I try to get my mazes published. When I did indeed publish a book, I dedicated it to him.

Because an educational company published my book, it was required to be instructive. Below is a page from my book with examples of creating maze tones by using wider and narrower paths.

Once I finished drawing mazes for my former middle school classmates, I was ready to draw new mazes for myself!

No surprise that I chose a butterfly for my first new maze. This is my template.

Drawing a smooth line drawing with a digital stylus requires skill and a steady hand. With practice, I quickly improved. There were many advantages, such as being able to flip my butterfly wing to make it symmetrical.

I drew my butterfly maze twice, because initially I wasn’t satisfied with the first version. I ended up finding charm with both of them. The second maze was slightly more realistic, with more pronounced lines on the wings and less parallel spot separation lines.

After finishing two butterfly mazes, I wasn’t sure what maze I’d draw next. But then I received a letter in the mail that inspired me.

Six months earlier, I had sent a package to Barbra Streisand. In it were some prints of my artwork with a letter offering her one of my paintings. I also wrote about my passion for music and the healing songs I loved to share.

When I received a letter back from the Streisand foundation, I was floored! It was such an unbelievably beautiful letter that I wanted to frame it.

Here is a paragraph that took my breath away:

“Your dedication to sharing your paintings and music with the world is a profound gift. We admire your courage and your everlasting love for your dear son Jason, and we are inspired by your goal of sharing your healing artistic gifts with the world. Certainly, the world is a decidedly more beautiful and empathetic place with you in it!”

A CD was included with the letter. The cover art was very graphic and reminiscent of a maze.

Well, Barbra couldn’t accept one of my paintings, but perhaps a maze would be more personal and welcomed. I would draw Barbara a maze!

Although the CD cover inspired me, I looked for a more flattering image on the Internet. I found one and converted the photo into a black and white study. I diligently spent a lot of time on the preliminary work. There were many choices for the shadows on her face.

It was fun creating a maze for Barbra Streisand. I sent it to my new contact at her foundation and I share my letter that went along with it.

Every day, I check my mailbox. My new pathway is definitely thrilling!

Tagged amazing, Art and Illustration, artist, Barbra Streisand, butterfly, butterfly art, butterfly illustrations, childhood drawings, childhood friend, creativity, drawing, Illustration, inspiring, Judy Unger, Maze art, Maze Book, Mazes, published mazes, pursuing dreams, puzzles, Streisand foundation | 7 Comments

PEACEFUL AND INSPIRED-PART 3

Posted on December 3, 2022 by Judy

Link to recordings for my song: PEACEFUL AND INSPIRED

This album is a recent release of mine. It features arrangements that were created in 2014. (The image is a link to that album).

The album cover above features a recent painting of mine.

“My Journey’s Insight” is a sweet title for this blog that I began over 12 years ago. From the very beginning, it has been a place for me to share my heartfelt writing and life lessons.

My post title of “Peaceful and inspired” definitely describes my current life. I allow myself to explore any creative pursuit that pops into my mind. Whether it is art, music, or writing – I look for inspiration that stokes my passion.

I guess it’s no coincidence that I recently released an album with the title “Peaceful Arrangement Medley,” which begins with a lush arrangement for my song “Peaceful and Inspired.”

My recent painting named “Lily Pad and Lotus” is a great metaphor for me, because water is such a beautiful element to paint. I regularly swim and feel so peaceful afterwards. When my dear friend Joni sent me photos from her trip to Georgia, one of them really caught my eye. I told her I was excited to make a painting from it.

Writing has been on my back burner for a while. But when I hear words speaking to me, I know it is time to write. It’s such a mysterious process that I love, and my post today truly came as a surprise. I find that when I look for meaning through ordinary life, inspiration awaits.

Here is my story.

A BUNK BED, DESK, AND DRESSER

I was disappointed when I heard my neighbor Gabriel was moving. I live in a coop of 24 units and both Gabriel and I are board members. Gabriel was such an important part of our board and our building. He would certainly be missed.

When he sent out an email about his upcoming move, he told everyone to stop by and take anything they wanted. He explained that he didn’t need any of his furniture, because he was moving to a furnished place.

Gabriel was anxious because he had one week to clear everything out of his unit. On Saturday, his movers would empty the place and take away anything left behind.

I met up with him and was excited for all the nice things he had available. Unfortunately, my place was small and I really couldn’t see myself taking anything. Mostly, I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of bringing it down from his upstairs unit into mine. Then I would also have to get rid of whatever I replaced. His queen bedroom set was so tempting though, and only four years old.

My youngest son took a look around and zeroed in on something he wanted. There were a pair of excellent speakers. My son said he would definitely pick them up later in the week.

Impulsively, I told Gabriel that I could help clear out his place and even make money for him by placing some ads. I relished the challenge and thought it might even be fun for me. Whenever I sold items on Ebay, I felt very accomplished.

Gabriel was thrilled by my offer and said, “Judy, we can split it. Whatever you get, I’ll give you half!” I smiled and told him that wasn’t necessary – we would see where it went.

I took pictures of everything and began an odyssey of salesmanship on OfferUp, NextDoor and Craigslist. Right away, it became a huge time sucker.

There were six listings in three places. I received dozens of messages asking if the items were still available. Even though I would reply to every message, there was seldom a follow-up after that. It became a challenge to remember who was interested in what, so I had to take notes.

One guy did show up. He said he would be in touch to pick up 5 pieces of furniture the next day. But he never got in touch. Someone else told me he had arranged for movers to come in the afternoon. Well, that didn’t happen either.I received a message about the bunk bed from someone hoping for a lower price. I replied that it would depend upon whether someone who planned to pick it up followed through.

A man planned to get the treadmill after he came back from a weekend trip. But when I checked with him on Monday, he said he had gotten into a car accident and wouldn’t be able to use a treadmill for a long time, let alone lift it into his car.

I tried not to bother Gabriel with anything, unless it involved going into his apartment. He gave me a key in case I needed it.

As the days edged toward moving day, I went back to the message about lowering the price for the bunk bed. I had already done that with everything else.

The woman’s name was Blanca and I told her if she just wanted the bunk beds, it would be $150.

Blanca replied quickly. Earlier, she shared that she had seven children and really needed it. Her husband stopped by with money later that day, but there was a language barrier. The man put his wife on the phone and Gabriel told her that he wouldn’t accept money until the furniture was picked up. The wife was adamant that he hold onto it for them and promised they would pick it up the following day.

It turned out that this was the only sale for all of the work I invested in advertising four rooms of furniture that week. It was humbling. I decided that selling furniture was definitely not up my alley.

I spoke with Gabriel and asked him how the pick up went.

He said, “I hope it’s okay that I only took $100 for the bed and that was only because the husband insisted. I happily gave them pillows, bedding, the desk, and dresser, too. They were thrilled. When they told me that two of their seven children were sleeping on the floor – well, it sure felt good to give it all to them.”

I grinned and was so happy to hear this. Of course, I reassured him that his generosity was wonderful. Some things are worth so much more than money and this was one of them.

Every time I think about how much that family is appreciating their furniture, I find myself smiling. All of the energy I expended was worth it – to foster this meaningful opportunity for them.

Many times, the effort that is put into something goes into another unplanned direction that I believe can be just as worthy.

The night before Gabriel moved, my son and I came to get the speakers. We both wished him well.

Gabriel said, “I’m really glad these speakers are going to a good home. They were my brother’s. I believe he paid about $1,200 for them.”

That opened up a window to an obvious question. If I weren’t a bereaved parent, I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to ask.

“Gabriel, what happened to your brother?”

He answered softly, “He died ten years ago.”

We talked a little more. I learned that his mother had been involved in the grief organization Compassionate Friends, just as I had.

Jason died over 30 years ago at the age of 5 and I still receive mail for him.

I opened the door for my son to carry out the speakers. It was dark, but my eyes were moist with tears. When Gabriel shared that they were going to a good home, I had no idea. His parting words gave me chills.

His brother’s name was Gregory. And that was my son’s name.