On Oct 5, 2011, Marie wrote:
I am so sad today; I just can’t stop crying. My son, Gary, has been gone just a little over a year and I hurt as much today as I did the day he passed away. Will the pain ever go away?? I have lived the night he died over and over in my mind a thousand times. Everything I do and everywhere I go there is something to remind me of him. Sometimes I think I am losing my mind…Some days I feel like I may be getting better; then a word, song, smell or just anything will just set me off. I can’t listen to music without crying. I haven’t been back to church since he has been gone. I know I would end up a blubbering mess and have to leave. I still go to the cemetery at least once a week. I had a bench put out there and I go out there and just sob my heart out. I hope I don’t have to live like this the rest of my life.
On Oct 5, 2011, Judy wrote:
It took me a long time to feel better; I don’t want to minimize the pain because grief is horrible!!! Please allow for your tears – tears are very healing. You will not live this way for the rest of your life, but right now your grief is very fresh. I want to give you some hope. My pain has eased and I am truly happy now. In fact, I am on top of the world because I wrote a new song. It speaks exactly to the pain of grief and healing. I think I will call it “Love Will Always Stay.”
I will be recording and arranging my song soon. It will be the cornerstone for my soon to be completed audio book about healing from grief with my music. Tomorrow it will be 19 years since my son, Jason, died at the age of five. I remember how on so many of his death anniversaries I cried all day long, but thankfully that is now in the past.
So glad I could share. You will feel better someday, Marie – trust me. I promise. Gary loves you and wants you to feel better. I love my son still and I feel his love for me.
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