I am so dressed up in this picture from when my brother was Bar Mitzvahed (I hated being dressed up). I am channeling Michael Jackson with one glove!

Below is a link to THE WONDERFUL METAPHORS IN MY LIFE – PART 1. That post will be included in by book and has been updated to that version.

THE WONDERFUL METAPHORS IN MY LIFE – PART 1

“Her Heart Had a Glass Window” 

Her heart had a glass window. It was transparent and had always been there. She was a very open person and she allowed almost anyone to look inside her heart.

When she grew older and more mature she decided to close the window and pull the curtains closed. The window became dusty and stuck because it was not opened for decades. Her heart began to fill up. It was filled with so many things, but mostly it was filled with pain and sadness. 

She could not bear the pressure, so one day she opened up the glass window of her heart to the world. So many things had changed since she had closed her window. Now anyone who owned a computer could look into the glass window of her heart! 

Like a dam that had burst, everything flowed out of her heart that had been locked inside for years and years. The glass window allowed for anyone to see her feelings, and to know intimately about her life in the past and present. 

When the window opened, it was so exciting for her that she wanted to share the experience. She decided to name her opening up, “My Journey’s Insight.” She gathered many friends and people from her past to join her. Every step of the way she shared her enthusiasm and passion. 

It was interesting for her that she considered her experience a journey. The truth was she had never really traveled. She had hardly gone anywhere in her sheltered life. However, she realized that she had simply traveled in a different way to different places. She had traveled instead to remote destinations of feeling and emotion. She could accurately describe those places in a way few people could. She shared her experiences and all that she had discovered as a result. 

One day, she decided her heart was no long overflowing. There was so much she had written about her feelings piled at the doorstep to her heart. She was amazed to imagine that it had all fit inside of her at one time. 

Now she wanted to make sense of everything. She organized her material and put back in her heart whatever gave her comfort. She wanted to share again, but it wasn’t about feelings and emotion bursting anymore. 

Although she had loved the breeze that came in with the window open, she closed it but this time she did not close the curtains. 

She was very happy. 

My mother with her wonderful caregiver/companion Miriam, who has allowed for me to pursue my writing and music because of her devotion to my mother.

In the beginning of my writing I was able to write about so many aspects of my daily life. That has changed for me. I have written less and less about my children, and last week I deleted most of the larger posts about them from my blog. I haven’t gone back to delete everything that might be there about them, but I plan to. 

My husband and two sons took a vacation to the Grand Canyon without my daughter and me. I wished I could have gone but didn’t for many reasons. 

My family wishes I was more helpful and doing things the way I used to. My teenagers’ steps toward independence have been huge, but they are not happy with my “transformation.” 

I have made tremendous progress on editing my book, since I completed a first draft of almost 400 pages a few weeks ago. I hope to be promoting an audio version with a CD of music by the end of the summer. 

Writing and editing a book has been something that has taken tremendous dedication for me. It has not been therapeutic, but seeing the progress has been very heartening for me. At the same time that I’ve been trying to clarify my ideas and shape my book, I’ve been improving all of my music recordings. That has been no small feat. 

My life has not changed much as far as having non-stop stress from my children and parents.

At my last hypnotherapy appointment, I shared with Connie my story about how I rescued a rabbit stuck in a fence. The metaphor that I took from that story was how having calmness and courage led to the best possible outcome. 

This week when I had a lot of additional stress from my teenagers and parents I reminded myself of something Connie had suggested. She reminded me how nice it would be if I could treat myself the same way I treated that trapped bunny. 

I tried hard to be loving, gentle, and reassuring to myself. 

The other day a friend I hadn’t seen in a while asked me how I was. I replied, “I am making a lot of progress with the book I am writing. I am enjoying my music. I perform weekly at Border’s Bookstore and I recently composed and recorded a new song that I love.” 

A few seconds later, it crossed my mind that it wasn’t that long ago when someone asked me how I was; I would have answered about how my mother was, or my father, or my children. There was never anything that I really shared about what I was actually doing and how I was. 

That revelation was huge for me. For the first time in such a long time I have my own identity!

A picture of my “Special Mom’s” support group. (I am in the center above). We have been meeting now for eight years and reunited at the restaurant where we had our very first dinner!

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.