I love to write. I never have a shortage of things to write about – only time.
I’m aware that I have a complicated life. However, because I’ve given myself permission to indulge my passions – well, I feel like I’m the luckiest person on earth. It’s not that I don’t have financial worries, responsibilities, or pressure. It’s just that I am so happy.
The pain of grief is indescribable. It is suffocating, torturous, and excruciating. Even those words do not truly capture the feeling of wanting to escape from the world of the living. I have lived with that level of pain.
This morning, I encountered intense, physical pain when I had an accident and suffered a second-degree burn. I decided to accept the challenge and decided that pain was far easier to deal with than some of the emotional pain I have suffered with in my life.
I sent out a few emails to my friends, and especially to my friend, Sam, who is a doctor. However, the pain was causing me difficulty to think rationally and I decided to go to urgent care. I’ll share my emails at the end of this post.
Coping with so many annoyances and accidents this past week was definitely challenging. However, I decided to continue celebrating my newfound happiness and not allow anything to derail my enthusiasm and joy.
This evening, I told my family I would not be doing anything in the kitchen. We would go out for dinner because I wanted to make my life easier.
At dinner with my family, we were all laughing. I told my children that I was thinking of song titles I could have sung tonight: Burnin’ Love, Wildfire, and Heatwave, were a few. It was all very funny. My kids said to me, “Mom, you’re not sharing that gross picture of your burn on your blog! If you do that, you will turn off a lot of readers.” When I didn’t answer, my husband guffawed with laughter, because he knew me so well!
I had put a lot of energy into planning how I would perform at my first, paid gig this afternoon, which I had to cancel. I was amazed that I wasn’t upset about my situation at all.
Instead, I tried to rest, listened to music, and attempted playing my guitar. I tried very hard to get a good recording of my newest song. My bandaged arm was stinging and sweat was pouring down my face as I tried over and over to sing and play my guitar without any mistakes. I finally had to stop and accept that I couldn’t do my best. I am sharing a “freestyle” recording here, and it might be interesting to imagine I am singing this with my bandaged, burnt arm!
My latest song is called “Music From Her Heart.” I had planned to name this post with a line of lyrics from that song. Originally, it was going to be “Silence Turned to Song,” but I decided upon “Healing Came At Last,” due to my burn!
The lyric line, “silence turned to song,” refers to that fact that for three decades I truly did not hear any inspiring music in my heart or mind. I was a completely, different person. There is no silence for me anymore, because I hear music and melodies in my mind every moment of my life now – even when I’m sleeping.
It isn’t hard to find joy in my life if I look for it. When I stopped by to see my mother, yesterday, I wasn’t expecting her to look so alert and happy. Her caregiver, Miriam, was going to take her out of the facility to religious services that were held at a different location.
I watched in awe as my mother stood and stepped from her large wheelchair over to a smaller one that would be easier for Miriam to transport her with. It was completely a result of her physical therapy that my mom was able to do this!
Obtaining physical therapy for my mother after her hip was fractured and not surgically repaired was not easy.
I allowed myself the pleasure of knowing that I made a difference in my mother’s life!
On Apr 3, 2011, at 8:15 AM, Judy Unger wrote:
I can barely type this now. I’m in a state of shock. I don’t feel blessed right now.
I’m so stupid! I was carrying a tray of breakfast upstairs. I spilled the hot tea and didn’t drop the tray (a mess, I thought.) I screamed, and put it down.
The agony – I can barely type. I think it’s either a first or second-degree burn. It’s about 8-12 inches long on my forearm, elbow and upper right arm.
I wonder if I’ll be able to perform – I’m feeling the pain. I have a cold towel on. Skin can be pulled off, but it looks like only the first layer. What do you recommend?
I followed up half an hour later with this message:
I am going to the ER. The pain is becoming unbearable. Mike was going to drive me, but I don’t want to tie up his day. I can do it. I’ll keep in touch. I don’t know what I’ll do about performing. I may not be able to play my guitar. If I can – I’ll show up and just speak.
I had a message from Sam when I got home, and all of his advice was exactly on target with the treatment I was given.
I just got home from Urgent Care. The pain made it hard for me to concentrate, but right now I feel a lot better. It’s all wrapped up.
It was a good idea to cancel my performance today. I was FINE with that – thank god, I need to recover. I’m so grateful that it wasn’t worse. And that I can still type!
Thanks for your message and caring.
Ps. Here’s a gross look at it!
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