WE BOTH CRIED FOR OUR SUFFERING

My mother with her granddaughter.

Today I comforted my mother.

When I came down the hallway this morning, I could see my mother’s face was contorted with sadness as I approached her wheelchair. She immediately burst into tears, and I was very distraught. However, with my gentle touch, I soon had her smiling again.

Her tears were from feeling uncared about and from her confusion.

Still, today held many moments that represented healing and improvement for my mom.

Bad List:

My heart pounded when my phone rang late last night and I saw that the call was from my mom’s facility. I heard her anxious voice. She said, “Honey, when are you coming?” I gently explained to her that it was still nighttime and we both needed to sleep!

This morning, the nurses couldn’t find my mom’s reclining wheelchair. My mom was put into a regular wheelchair. The whole process was very traumatic for her. That was the reason for her tears this morning!

My mom had a lot of confused moments. I’m sad that she still has dementia.

I was told my mom was given a “mild” pain medication last night. I became very upset. Later, it was determined she had not been given one. This was not the first time I felt confused about what I was told. My mom seemed so confused this morning that I thought she was on something. The pupils in her eyes were tiny.

Good List for today:

My mom was able to sit in a regular wheelchair, despite her tears. It was exactly one week ago last night when she fell and broke her hip. In only one week, my worst fear that she would be “bedridden” did not happen!

I played tennis.

I went out to lunch with two of my tennis girlfriends.

I was pretty amazed to see a panda face in my latte at lunch today! I couldn’t “bear” not to take a picture of it!

I received a call from my mom’s caregiver that my mom had taken a shower without any pain. My mom was glowing when I saw her in the afternoon!

My plan was to come to say goodnight to my mom, as I had every evening this past week. When I called before leaving she said, “Honey, you can have the night off. Today was a good day and I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Go do something fun!”

I played my guitar and sang every single one of my songs.

My youngest son received a beautiful report card from religious school. His behaviors were either “excellent” or “very good.” I loved the comments that were there.

“An anniversary of the heart for Ruth” – My deceased mother-in-law’s birthday”

A little over a week ago, it would have been my mother-in-law’s birthday. I want to “carve out” a little space to honor her. She died a little over a year ago.

Ruth would have been thrilled to know how well I’ve done this year. Perhaps it was no coincidence that on the actual date of her birthday, I came across a folder next to my desk – it had all of her important papers.

I decided that I would file away those papers. Upstairs in my closet I had a box with her name on it. When I opened the box, there were stacks of cards and old pictures inside!

The irony didn’t escape me about how on this “anniversary of the heart” I was looking at the many cards I had given Ruth over the years. Before I learned how to use a computer – I used to cut out photos and paste them onto cards.

I also ended up with many, new photos to add to the blog.

Ruth when she was younger.

My bridal shower with Ruth.

Ruth with her two grandsons.

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Judy

I'm an illustrator by profession. At this juncture in my life, I am pursuing my dream of writing and composing music. Every day of my life is precious!
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