BESIDE ME ALWAYS – PART 2

BESIDE ME ALWAYS COVER 1CLICKING THE BLUE LINKS BELOW PLAYS AUDIO:

BESIDE ME ALWAYS Acoustic-4/24/16 Copyright 2015 by Unger

Beside Me Always 3/21/17 Copyright 2017 by Judy Unger

BESIDE ME ALWAYS INSTRUMENTAL

Jason & Guitar 3

LINKS TO MORE STORIES ABOUT THIS SONG:

Story behind BESIDE ME ALWAYS-PART 1

Story behind BESIDE ME ALWAYS-PART 3

Story behind BESIDE ME ALWAYS-PART 4

MY TEARS FILLED AN OCEAN

by Judy Unger, Copyright 2010

when you died

my tears filled an ocean

I was violently submerged

gasping and barely able to stand the shock

swirling in a raging current

a current of time

I was paralyzed and choking

wanting to drown, but unable to sink

the current dragged me along

it seemed endless

Soon all my energy was gone

anger at my fate depleted me further

exhaustion led to floating

The current kept moving

fighting it was useless

there was no going back to where I began

I was going to somewhere unknown

the journey was filled with horror

I tried not to look while

fighting to escape from the endless drift

when I let go of fighting it

the current became comforting

it had carried me such a distance

now the places of horror became far away

and tortured memories became blurry

in the beginning, I wanted to drown

but my fear did not allow me to sink

one day, I held my breath

and left the current above me

down into the dark depths I went; I felt peaceful

I wanted to revisit my grief and sadness

I was not afraid as I closed my eyes and tried to remember

I needed to feel you again

it wasn’t about remembering the pain

the shock, the gasping or the choking

I opened my eyes

in the eerie depths I was touched

by your emanating glow

your pale face was so delicate and beautiful

the exuberance in your eyes

washed away my grief

I resurfaced without fear

I knew that someday I would sink

and be with you forever

My longing for you would always be

I floated onto the soft sand and stood again

I marveled at my survival and the miracle

I had finally reached a destination

of unimaginable beauty

 

Thankfully, my oldest son has forgotten his grief.

The younger brother ended up becoming my oldest child.

Jason was a ring bearer for Norman (my brother) and Jo’s wedding. He loved being dressed up.

Feeling surrounded by the love of someone that is not physically with me, has always given me comfort. I’m never alone when I surround myself with loving memories.

I remember there was a popular song from the 70’s entitled, “You Light Up My Life.” When the song first came out, I never thought of it as religious. However, it became a big hit and was considered very inspirational about feeling support from God.

My arranger, George, was finishing up with me on Sunday. We had accomplished a lot in our few hours together. I had brought a list of my songs with minor flaws that I hoped we could fix together.

As I listened to song after song over his speakers, I was amazed to think they were my songs and I had actually recorded them. It was very inspiring for me.

We were both listening to my most recent recording of “Beside Me Always.” The sound of ethereal notes that accompanied my vocal filled the room; the guitar strings ascended so sweetly.

George said in a hushed voice, “This song has me feeling like you’re speaking to God. It is God that surrounds you – in the breeze that’s blowing.”

I looked at him. I pondered the lyrics for a moment. Then, I mentioned certain lines such as “unfinished start.” These were lyrics I had written that were about my dead son. I asked him if he still felt that way – if it still felt like my song was about God.

He said, “Most definitely, yes!”

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

About Judy

I'm an illustrator by profession. At this juncture in my life, I am pursuing my dream of writing and composing music. Every day of my life is precious!
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5 Responses to BESIDE ME ALWAYS – PART 2

  1. Cookie says:

    Hello Judy,
    I am a member of the on line support group AngelMoms. I saw your post this morning. Thank you for sharing memories of precious Jason. I am sending a warm hug to you and Jason’s Dad. Your song is beautiful. I know Jason is your #1 fan.
    Sincerely, Cookie Harrigan

    Like

  2. SwittersB says:

    A very choked sigh…………

    Like

  3. tersiaburger says:

    For one or other reason I saved this post in a Bookmark Folder when I originally read it. I was deeply touched when I looked at your precious Jason’s photographs. It is scary that after all these years you are still consumed with grief. I hope dear Judy that you will find the comfort that you have brought so many others. God bless you precious friend.

    Like

    • Judy says:

      Please don’t be scared off thinking I’m consumed by grief. I think that I can write about my grief with clear memories, but the pain is not there for me like it was. I honestly consider myself healed and perhaps I’m consumed with that! The reason would be because I never expected it and am eager to write those painful memories as a way to help others hold onto hope. The pain that does consume me is with my eyesight only. I continue to work on accepting my condition. Thank you for saving this to read and sharing your loving and caring words with me. You know I’m always thinking of you and Vicky.

      Like

  4. beautiful poem and those thoughts and feelings are so familiar!

    Like

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