While going through some old albums, I came across some images I found funny. One time, my mother borrowed one of my dresses for an occasion. It was black and my youngest son would say it looked like a “Spider Woman” costume.

I found a picture of my mom wearing it, and I swear I had to look closely to see if it were she or I! These photos are so cute, that I thought I’d share them.

WHO WORE IT BETTER?

Judy and the black dress solo.

My mom and the black dress solo.

My mom with my dad wearing the black dress.

There are times when I really miss the way my mother used to be.

I could always share things with her, and she would offer me so much wisdom and comfort.

Often, she lived her life through me. I used to resent that sometimes, but now I miss her involvement very much.

Yesterday when she called, she was filled with anxiety. Because my mom was so upset, I ended up trying to comfort her. I realized that it was not helpful for me to share too much about my stress with her anymore. I could certainly share things that were upbeat and light. However, I am very open and it has been difficult for me to contain my stress.

Lately, some of my amazing energy has been ebbing. I don’t like the weakness that allows for my emotions to flow. I have been far too sensitive, lately.

“My voice lesson”

I told Peaches, “No voice recorder today. I just want to relax.”

Peaches looked beautiful. She was dressed in a stylish outfit, and looked totally comfortable with herself. Last week, she shared that her fiftieth birthday was approaching. I told Peaches that a lot of things changed for me after my fiftieth birthday.

I didn’t really know much about her. I knew she was a single mom, and that she had a website dedicated to that. Peaches and I spent half of the lesson talking. She told me that even though we weren’t singing, talking was important.

I told Peaches that there was a lot of stress in my life, and I wasn’t physically “up to par.” She more than understood. We talked further about the challenges of running a business at home, and raising our children. I told her how I used to hide in the closet in order to be able to work. My older son would peek in to see if I was there, and I would come out after he left. She had similar stories to tell me.

Peaches said she had a recording studio at her home, and she was familiar with music software. She told me she used to write songs weekly, and perform them. In addition, Peaches shared that she sold the usage for many of her original songs, but maintained her copyright.

When I told Peaches about my recent, open mic performances, Peaches said she had performed at both the same places. She still worked with a vocal coach of her own, and her coach also worked with Beyonce.

It was time to ask her. I wanted to find out if she would sing and record my song.

She said she would!

She said she’d first play around with it. It was so easy to ask her. Although I told her I’d pay her, we left it at her just playing around with it.

At the very least, I could listen to her sing it and perhaps get some stylistic ideas from her. Of course, I was certain I would just want to throw in the towel once I heard how beautiful her version was!

We both agreed that my song might have commercial value. It would be a great song to play at weddings! Peaches was an expert about that, because she told me she has performed at more weddings than she could possibly count!

Peaches, AKA Sienna Ray Starr

A page from my diary in 1979 when I was 19.

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