There is never a shortage of funny things in my life; I haven’t felt like writing anything funny, because I’ve had a lot of “up and out” with on-going issues that I’ve been writing about.

However, I’ve been saving up a lot of funny stuff!

My husband did more of his favorite kind of shopping lately. That would be on the Internet. Above is what he purchased:

I figure we would need to have wall-to-wall “potty patches” for our dog. Our puppy, Killer, has gone everywhere else but on the “Potty Patch.” My husband diligently picks up the poops and places them onto the patch for our dog to see.

I swear our dog is laughing at him!

When one of my children doesn’t have time to do his “poop pick-up” job, he likes to leave signs. I have an example below.

self-explanatory!

Take a look at how many signs are on the floor in the next picture. I’m not messing with this @*%&#! No wonder my life feels crappy!

I have found out there is something even worse than Killer’s little poops (thank god he’s a tiny creature). That would be his puddles of vomit. When I hear my husband’s booming voice, I run for the hills.

He shouts, “Who left a plastic bag out? Why are there chewed up pencils on the floor?” (Good question.)

Worse yet, is then one: “No more sunflower seeds in this house! It’s going to kill our dog and cost us a fortune in vet bills!”

I sure have dark bags under my eyes. I wonder how I got them?

While looking through yet another “memory box,” I found more funny exhibits. There was a picture that my son drew of me four years ago. I guess I had dark circles under my eyes then. If I did, it was certainly due to his waking me up!

He did get it right that I had sunglasses on my head – I wear them that way a lot. Just last week, I was searching for them in my purse. (Uh oh, I’m becoming my mother!) I couldn’t find them. That’s because they were on my head!

I keep telling my nineteen-year-old son how tall and handsome he is. Now that he has a girlfriend, I would think he’d shave more often or worry about combing his hair. Not my son! He has been very relaxed about the whole thing, and I’m proud of him. I’m so pleased about how comfortable he is in his own skin.

This morning, he asked me a simple question. He said, “Mom, do you have something that will clean my retainer?”

Then he added, “I think our dog needs to go to the orthodontist?”

I asked him why.

He said, “Well, the dog had something in his mouth. It was my retainer!”

This isn’t funny when I remember how I just replaced one of his retainers, which I accidentally dropped down the drain when cleaning it. I didn’t know that when I ran the disposal. It only cost me $200.

Okay, it is funny.

A sign I made to remind my son to wear his retainer. Did I mention I love Photoshop?

At some point, I am eager to write about our parrot. I don’t say much about him except two simple facts: Our parrot, Tiki, loves my oldest son and I, ONLY. Anyone else is viewed as a threat and will immediately have blood drawn. Our parrot will attack the cats. Little Killer does want to kill him, however. There is a lot of jealousy there. The din of the two of those jealous pet siblings is enough to make anyone insane. I don’t know how I manage!

THE DIN OF INSANITY-A RECORDING OF BIRD SCREECHES AND YAPPING

Yes, our bird definitely has a chip on his shoulder, too.

Here’s a picture of our parrot, Tiki. He is a Sun Conure. We actually don’t know if our parrot is male or female; we would have to pay for a genetic test. I’m too cheap to worry about it. Last week, I was in shock to see a squirrel inside our parrot’s cage in the morning! The bird sleeps in a separate, small “sleep cage” in my older son’s room at night. I guess the cage was left open that night, and a squirrel found himself stuck in there while he was raiding the food.

The whole episode was quite funny, and I managed to get a picture of it!

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