WHATEVER WORKS!

Posted on February 27, 2010 by Judy

This watercolor painting was from one of my private art students in February of 2009. Sophie was ten years old.

“Can this be applicable to art and my life?”

I was supposed to start on a new art project; which in my case is usually an illustration of something that will be used on a food/packaging label. Normally I would share more, but this job is likely to be confidential. I’m anticipating that I’ll have to sign a paper saying I will not share any information about what I’m illustrating.

I find it interesting how clients really worry that their competitors will find out about their unique product! Nowadays with the advent of stock photography and illustration, it is so much cheaper to buy existing art. However, thank God there is still the mind-set of wanting something unique for their product. That helps my business by giving me commissioned work.

I did not hear from the art director, despite leaving a message, until this evening. I am off the hook for working this weekend. I wish that would mean that the “drop dead deadline” would be extended to compensate for this, but in my line of work the deadline will remain fixed while the art director and client bicker over miniscule details.

In the end, they are absolutely clueless about what goes into creating a painting and how cheating the artist of time actually lessens the quality. Like anything, more time spent is usually a better result.

So the motto that I used to teach my students in illustration classes was:

“Whatever works!”

Hmmm, that might actually be something applicable to the rest of my life, as well.

I plan to write more about the kind of work that I do; I think it might actually be interesting to know what goes into illustrating food for labels, billboards, FSI (newspaper inserts), and magazines.

With the advent of the computer destroying so many careers like mine, I actually have benefited by reaching even a faster level of creating art. I am able to recycle elements from my huge library of images and create new paintings that resemble “originals.” (Don’t tell the client that, please!)

Two years ago, I was desperately trying to find some revenue. I decided I’d try to teach private art lessons. On the Internet, I found a company that hired teachers for music and art lessons called “Picasso Art and Music School.”

They sold packages of eight lessons and I would receive $40 an hour. I was responsible for driving to the student’s home. I was quickly hired and thus began a brief foray into teaching private art lessons.

As a college art teacher, I was far more used to having thirty adults looking over my shoulder as I painted. I wasn’t used to working with a one child. I began working with a 13-year-old prodigy. Because it was quite a drive for $40 per hour, the family agreed to a two-hour lesson every other week to make it easier for me. It took me almost an hour sometimes just to prepare for the lesson. This was not economically viable for me.

This company ended up being a scam! Not only was I not paid for 8 lessons, but the company charged all of my students’ parents 2-3 times over on their credit cards. I was paid directly by the parents after that, but the sting of being ripped off still bugged me.

I saw more about this scam on the Internet later on. I don’t think my writing skill was put to good use, because all of my letters of complaint didn’t go anywhere. I guess it was another life lesson for me.

I did enjoy the two students that I gave those lessons to. The “prodigy” really has really expanded her abilities and I have gotten email updates from her mother occasionally.

I always hold out for the BIG project; one like Beech Nut Baby Food, where I was commissioned to create over a hundred paintings. It’s at times like that when I’ve “disappeared” and have relied on hiring more help.

Below are two paintings that show how I can utilize the computer to create two different looks (aside from reversing them). Notice that when the sky has different colors, it is very important for it to reflect into that winding river. It has been fun writing and sharing information about something passionate for me, something that is other than my family!

Farm Landscape and Sunrise.

Farm Landscape with Clouds.

I want to share something funny and totally unscripted.

I was waiting to receive a signed estimate for my current illustration assignment. I called today, to remind the art director to sign and fax it back to me. It was sitting in my fax machine and the picture is below.

I took it out of the fax, and wondered why the heck it said, “Thank you for my Bar Mitzvah Gift!” I was confused. It was the same font I used for youngest son’s thank you notes. Plus, she wasn’t at his Bar Mitzvah.

It turned out my dad had taken paper out of the trash in order to “use the back” and save paper. Oh my God, if this ever went to court, even the art director’s signature and date were obscured. Should I ask her to fax it again?

Now the cats out of the bag – I guess everyone knows that my son didn’t print his thank you’s all by himself!

My son’s thank you message ended up on my signed estimate!

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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SHUTTING UP THE RACQUET IN MY HEAD

Posted on February 26, 2010 by Judy

For my birthday in 2011, I picked out a new tennis bag. I never had one in this color or style before – definitely something “new and different!”

“The @#%&ing Fifties Club”

I informed the other three ladies in my women’s doubles game that my cell phone would indeed be off today. I like to have it off so I can truly be able to take a break from my stressful life. That actually means I have the bell off, but I check to see if there is a voicemail or text message on every changeover.

One of the ladies had read my tennis essay, and she laughed when I told her about the lost key. As I verbally shared the story, I had far more anguish than the written word conveyed. I loved the fact that her empathy was so potent; she really knew how I had felt. In my “prior” zombie like existence, I would never have shared the experience with my tennis friends.

I don’t know most of the women I play with off the tennis court. This particular friend was at my fiftieth birthday party. But like all the wonderful people I have met while playing tennis, I am very impressed with her. She is in her late sixties, and plays tennis about five days a week since she’s retired. Her game is steady and consistent, unlike mine.

I always appreciate the fact that my tennis friends know my game and accept me.

These days, I am in my “improvement mode.” A few weeks ago, I took a half-hour private lesson where I almost fainted. I’ve also attended a few workshops.

It was very hard to make a change to the “same tennis game” after 25 years! My body likes the “old habits,” and just trying to change something can throw everything off.

I notice that I hit the ball with improvement since those lessons; I definitely feel the difference. I still make the same mistakes, because knowing that I’m doing it wrong doesn’t make it right the next time! All my tennis friends know this.

Today, I had to laugh when I heard one lady say the “F” word for only the second time. I told her she was now in my “The @#%&ing Fifties Club.” Of course, that’s the same club I’ve recently joined where I can’t keep track of the score or who is serving.

But then again, I do have a lot on my mind.

I am posing here with a new, tennis outfit my mother bought for me in 2004. It still feels new! But a lot of my clothes are too big for me now that I’ve lost so much weight!

Improving by making changes in my game

I started playing tennis in my early twenties, so I am calculating that I have played approximately 27 years. I am very, excited to improve in all areas of my life.

So today I decided to take a tennis lesson! I shared it with a tennis friend who most motivates me. She always wins, unless she’s sick or injured. I want to play as well as her. I want to give her more of a challenge.

I have been known has, “The one who doesn’t move.” That is because I have been overweight most of my life. I am noticing how much better I am moving since losing 15 pounds.

I absolutely love, I mean love, this tennis teacher. She is real. She is human. She is a mom. She is a flawless, tennis player. She gets it. She is going to teach me how to end a point so I am not looking like “a deer in the headlights!” She is going to help me win!

I don’t care if I win, even though it does sound like that. I just want to improve, that’s all. I have a lot of room for improvement, and why not?

Here is some of the dialog that went on during my lesson:

Judy, stop admiring your shot, watch where the ball goes and move with your partner!

(Did I mention I play doubles? That’s the easy tennis game where you don’t get as much exercise.)

Judy, you are dancing and flailing around! Get in the ready position!

(Me) I am trying, but I have bad habits I’ve been doing for the last 27 years!

(Me) That ball you just nailed into my stomach; don’t worry! I’m not planning on having any more children!

(Me) Ouch, I just hit my other hand with the $#%@ racket! Have you ever done that?

I ended up getting a “crick” in my upper foot. That was because I was running for a ball and couldn’t stop. I was totally off the court, when the ball flew right by my other side.

“Judy, stop admiring your shot again!”

I tried to learn a “spin” serve. I am known as a fairly “flat” hitter. It was weird and very strange. I needed to hold my racket with a grip that felt contorted. The tennis teacher said to me, “You must hold it this way! Come across like you’re carrying a tray.”

That shouldn’t be hard for me. Soon, I was flailing again.

I exclaimed, “It’s not me, it’s my cheater hand. It is not listening to me (just like my children); it has ADD!”

I swear – I said most of these things. On my last attempt at the spin serve, these were the words I heard:

“That hurt! You just hit me on my head and I’m your partner!”

“My workshop the following week”


I left to go add more therapy into my life; to play tennis. I have mentioned this before; I love this tennis teacher. Okay, I’ll share her name. Her name is Suzi.

The last time I saw her, I mentioned to her that I had written about her in my blog. I sent her a link to it. As I walked onto the court for the workshop, I wondered if she might mention it.

She smiled at me warmly as I walked up and she said, “Well if it isn’t the blogger! Oh my god, your blog is no small bit of writing. It’s a volume!”

I said, “I only started it recently, too!” (I just checked, and the first post was February 17, 2010. It has not even been one month!)

Then she said, “It’s a page turner! I was late picking my daughter up from school because of reading it! I’m only on #8!”

I said, “Suzi, you mean you haven’t even read what I wrote about you after our lesson last week?”

She said, “I’m not there yet! I’m reading them in order. Please don’t write any more until I catch up!” (She has no idea; I can’t stop.)

I resisted the urge to crush her with a giant hug. There was definitely a word for my feelings right now: EUPHORIA!

There were five ladies in the workshop. I will list with numbers the funny things that inspired me to write. So here I go:

#1

One lady said, “I have one of each!” I overheard and thought of something completely different. Before saying something silly, I asked “One of each, what?” The answer was tennis rackets! Here was what I was thinking:

One of each:

One boy and one girl

One alive and one dead

One dog and one cat (I have two cats, a puppy, and a bird; a pet family of 4)

#2

After I missed a shot I said, “Once I hit that ball 1,000 times, I know I’ll get it right!”

The lady next to me said, “Boy, you’re an optimist! I’m not sure I’d ever get it, even with 1,000 times.”

Well that’s me; the optimist. My mother always was one; it was an absolute fact about her. She has unfortunately changed with age. She is now filled with anxiety and fear about so many things. She has started to think the worst. Therefore, I am always reminding her of how she used to be. The role reversal is complete.

#3

This reminded me of more on the subject of shouting inappropriate things during tennis. One of the ladies actually yelled out, “OH, SHIT!”

I grinned and thought that saying those words were helpful for her. I was also thinking, “I can’t believe how well I’ve done holding it in today at this country club.” I believe there is actually a sign that says, “No cursing” at this club.

However, I didn’t say what I thought. Instead I said, “Watch out! We’re not allowed to curse at this club.”

To which Suzi replied to everyone, “She’s right about that!”

I was right! Good thing I’ve been careful; no inappropriate language allowed here. Then Suzi added, “JUST KIDDING!”

Okay, now I know why I love this woman so much! She’s definitely on one of my favorite humans list.

#4

Suzi yelled at me, “Judy! JUST STOP!” I tend to run and hit the ball and continue running. I could fall over the net if I’m not careful.

Gee, haven’t I heard that all the time at home? My kids have gotten so tired of hearing me nag. They have said to me daily, “MOM! JUST STOP ALREADY!”

#5

Suzi said, “You, two! I’d rather see both of you smash racquets, than look clueless at the ball going between you! Stop looking at the ball. GO FOR IT!”

I thought, “It’s not mine! It’s a backhand and it’s her forehand.” All my tennis friends reading this will laugh at that line – they know me! I suddenly realized that my new titled for this blog should be, “GO FOR IT!”

#6

We were practicing overheads (shots that are high balls, which you smash down upon.)

Suzi yelled to one of the ladies, “ANSWER THE PHONE!”

This one didn’t register right away. I thought, “Did I forget to turn off my cell phone?” That spiraled into:

a. It could me any one of my children expecting me to be at their beck and call.

b. It could be my husband with some request to call his doctor or somebody else. Since his mom died in November, he has had far less requests for me.

c. It could be my father. He has missed talking with me.

d. It could be my mother. She needs me to bring tissues or something else to the nursing home.

Then I figured it out. Suzi always says, “ANSWER THE PHONE!” to have the players put their racket back behind their shoulder in the proper position to hit an overhead!

My mom went with me to a “Sectionals” competition, when I was playing USTA tennis years ago.

Responses to my writing about tennis from two, tennis friends:

On Feb 20, 2010, Lisa wrote:

Holy cow Judy! This is one incredible story and blog. I’ve never read one before and I had no idea of your back-story. As you state numerous times in your blog, tennis is our outlet and our release. I know that you have had many difficult issues and we’ve talked about them briefly before, during and after our tennis games. But tennis is when we leave out regular lives and just forget. I don’t think that anyone can understand the connection that woman have through tennis. As you’ve stated so eloquently it is our escape.

I’m grateful that you let me into a bit of your life, which I would otherwise never have had a clue about. I so enjoy our tennis time, even though it is infrequent!

All my best, Lisa

Hi Lisa,

I am so glad you were able to read it, Lisa!

I can only imagine that you have quite a story of your own to tell. You can certainly understand the therapy of tennis. I am certain that when tragedy occurred in your life, you continued playing tennis and it helped. Your message meant so much to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to care and share.

Judy

On Feb 21, 2010, Theresa wrote:

Sweet Pea:

As part of your wife/daughter/friend sisterhood, I often get chills reading your notes. Sometimes I nod knowingly, and other times I get teary simply in empathy. I know that it is out of love that you share: thank you. Have you heard the notion of surrounding one’s self with people who “raise you up”? You do that for me. While your journey has been an immense challenge (if I may say), your love, grace and courage inspire me be a good wife/daughter/friend – on or off the court.

Some believe one’s worth is measured not in possessions, but relationships – you, Judy are one of the richest people I know.

Love you, Theresa

Dearest Theresa,

What a lovely, special message! When I read the part of “surrounding one’s self with people who raise you up,” that applied to why you are my friend! You don’t have to survive some tragic past be a “hero,” you are fabulous to be around because of your spirit, smile, and warmth.

And that is why I’ve been sharing my growth with you; I’m definitely feeling very rich today!

Love, Judy

My friend Magda with her husband, Matt.

Message from my dear friend and former tennis player, Magda:

DEAR JUDY,

.I CANNOT FIND THE WORDS FOR YOU “AMAZING” IT IS NOT ENOUGH, STRONG, DETERMINED…MY ENGLISH IS STILL POOR……..I KNEW YOU ARE TALENTED WITH ART AND MUSIC, I WAS LUCKY THAT I LISTENED TO YOUR MUSIC.  I REMEMBER YOU PLAYING THE GUITAR AND SAW YOU WORKING AT YOUR STUDIO ….YOU SHOWED ME HOW TO PAINT A WATER DROP….I USED WATER COLORS FOR THE GEOLOGICAL MAPS I USED TO DO…I LOVE YOUR ART-WORK VERY MUCH….YES, I MISS PLAYING TENNIS AND DRIVING…

I WAS DOING SPORTS SINCE I WAS 8 YEARS OLD AND I LOVED IT!  GYMNASTICS, VOLLEYBALL, HANDBALL, SOCCER, AND TENNIS FROM 1981 TO 1993. I NEVER USED AN ANTIDEPRESSANT PILL .. I AM GOING BACK TO YOUR BLOG MORE!

HUGS W/LOVE, MAGDA

Dearest Magda,

You taught me so much because of your bravery regarding your loss. It helped me to learn that it doesn’t matter what age a child dies; you had unfulfilled dreams and simply the desire to have held for one second something you would mourn forever. I remember your horrible stories about life in Romania; how you labored in agony for almost a week and almost died. And then when you finally had the C-section to deliver your dead baby; you never had any children after that.

And you’ve never taken an antidepressant? I know you are very sensitive to medication, but your incredible attitude is what makes you exactly the way you described me! You love children, and always “adopted” mine when I lived in Sylmar. I didn’t remember that you had babysat Jason once; I am so glad you shared that memory with me, recently.

The harder story will be writing about Jason. I will need to save an entire weekend for that one. I have a box that contains all the sympathy cards that I received after he died. Inside that box are his pacifier, photos, and memorabilia. I am sure once I open that box I will have a lot to write about.

However, when I was in my grief group I told his story quite often. It has been quite a few years since then, and I stopped telling his story because I was proud to think I had moved on. Unfortunately, my heart is still broken.

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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HUMOR IS WORKING FOR ME!

Posted on February 26, 2010 by Judy

Del Monte Labels

My illustrations adorn all of the Del Monte pickle jars.

“Before breakfast”

I woke up this morning and realized that humor is “working for me.” With my new mind set being “trying to find what is helpful” in my life, I find it interesting that I am learning about my writing abilities.

I am thinking about how I am going to put into words horrible images of pain from my past, while at the same time I am laughing inside at all the insanity around me in my current life. The fact that I can’t wait to write about it, is telling me something.

Am I the next Erma Bombeck? Why can’t I just stick to what I’ve been doing well for the last thirty years, which is illustrating? The answer to that is easy; there has been no money. However, writing and song writing isn’t likely to be a moneymaker either.

Until I finish writing about Jason, this whole thing is a work in progress. But that’s what makes it so much fun for me, not knowing where it’s going.

I don’t care to be famous. When I’m in the market buying something that has my painting on it, I’ve said to the checker, “That’s my picture on that jar of Del Monte relish.” The smile she gives back makes me think I’m sharing too much information. (Just like now)

So this morning, I was able to think about how funny everything is that is happening in my world. My head was busy with:

How much longer can I delay shopping at Costco? Is it possible someday that we can invest in a third refrigerator?

Will my father still be worried about me, because I started crying and yelling at him last night? He bugged me while I was writing. I couldn’t stand the fact that he was asking me to take out all the phone books from a high up cupboard to organize them and add the new ones. I ended up yanking out ten phonebooks for the trash; I haven’t used one in years. When he whined that he still “needed me,” I lost it.

My mother is totally missing me. She needs her hearing aids cleaned, and my father is too tired to take them across the street to a store that would do that.

I need more help! Maybe if I had money, I could hire a second housekeeper again like I used to have. Sometimes I imagine all the money we could have if it wasn’t spent on hired help. During those periods where I was working so much, I had two people helping me seven days a week. Well some people have nice cars, so I have housekeepers. It’s far more important to me!

Azaleas

Grapefruits

Walnuts

Peanuts

Waterfall

Hibiscus Flowers

BBQ Grill

Below I am emailing with my college, illustration teacher. Through all these years, I’ve always enjoyed sharing my illustration success with her. This email exchange is due to my recent decision to share an original painting with her in honor of her birthday.

On Feb 23, 2010, Judy wrote:

Hi Nancy,

Okay, I sent you a selection now – let me know which painting I can share with you!

Love, Judy

Hey Judy!!

Thanks!!!! Hmmmm, they’re all so good!! How about the walnuts?

:O)


Good choice! It will represent us both, ”Coming out of our shells, up against the wall, and trying not to go nuts!” I’ll send it soon.

Love, J

Thank you Judy!

I can’t believe you are sharing that with me. I like your description of why it appropriate. Hahaha! However, I don’t know if I want to come out of my shell. Hahaha! Too risky…

Okay, Nan,

I am sharing it with you, but don’t give me a grade on it. You can only come out of your shell when you are ready. It took fifty years for me. Another word for shell is “tough exterior.” You are one tough lady! That being said, the nutmeat is exquisite, sensitive, and tender – definitely worth sharing.

Love, Jude

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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CRAWLING THROUGH MY LIFE

Posted on February 25, 2010 by Judy

In this picture, my mother and brother are on the right. Our trip to Catalina on a boat for the day was a wonderful memory – except that I was seasick!

“Swimming as my therapy”

It has been another long day in my formerly stressful life; but I feel great. I am also finding that humor has been helpful for me. From hypnotherapy, I have extracted the things that work, and deciding what is helpful or not really works for me!

I have survived my prior trials mostly by being in “zombie” mode. This was preferable to many other coping mechanisms that I’ve seen around me. Being a zombie allowed me to survive, but at some point, I decided that I deserved more out of life. I was always open to trying to find ways to help myself, and that’s why tennis was something that was therapeutic and continuous for me.

About two years ago, one of my tennis friends talked about how hypnotherapy had helped her. I was interested, and she said she had a friend that was just starting her own practice and was wonderful.

It was then that I started seeing Connie, and I credit her with changing my life. I will certainly write more about that later on. However, with all the complicated “stuff” that goes on in my life, hypnotherapy is what has helped me to achieve clarity.

I remember clearly the session with Connie, where we were searching to find something that could help me cope. Mostly only tennis came to mind.

Then I mentioned that sometimes I swam laps, especially when I was trying to lose weight. She was direct with her answer. “So, when you swim you feel like you’re on vacation, and it doesn’t cost you anything? What is stopping you from doing it more?”

I had told her that when I was done swimming, I felt so relaxed. It certainly did feel like I had been on vacation!

She encouraged me to find more time for this. It wasn’t about losing weight; it was about finding ways to “feel better.” It was still hard for me to find the time, but after that session with Connie, I started swimming again more and more.

It was especially important for me to make that time when I was feeling stress that could cause me to have physical ailments again.

When I started emailing again with my childhood friend, Joni, I was warmed to read her memories of me swimming during our childhood:

Joni:

You always loved bugs, lizards, the outdoors, doing scary things, swimming like an Olympic athlete readying for the big race, and writing amazing stories. Jude, I could write a book about you being an amazing friend and role model.  Thanks for being the best friend I ever had as a young child. Truly you and your mom were really more than I ever had. I love you both so much.”

Judy:

“That’s funny that you remember the swimming.  I still swim 50 laps maybe once a week, because it helps clear my mind.”

Joni:

“Regarding swimming, I would watch you swim from my window or actually my sister’s window. You were so dedicated. You were flawless in form, continually moving faithfully forward until all fifty were complete. You were and always will be an inspiration to me.”

Judy:

“Regarding the swimming, my hynotherapist Connie, has encouraged me to find any free moment to do that. Trust me, I sure don’t feel like getting into a bathing suit much and going to do it.

That’s funny about you saying I was flawless – I do my own thing, as far as form goes. I always admire the other swimmers that get to the end and “flip over underwater” to turn around. Every time I do that, I get vertigo!”

So when my complicated day was almost over, I decided it was time to swim. I went to the indoor pool at the YMCA. I walked in and the pool was like glass; empty. I had an entire Olympic pool all to myself. I swam like I had a motor on; I could do a hundred laps if I wanted without getting tired. The good part was that being overweight has never affected my ability to swim. I felt weightless and powerful, and while I was moving my head was clearing.

I am realizing that I am suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder now. All of the traumatic events I have gone through are surfacing because I am ready to write about them. I am feeling again compelled to write soon about Jason. It will be very difficult, but I am almost ready.

I was thinking about other possible titles related to swimming. Here are some of my other ideas that didn’t make it:

POOLS OF COMFORT; POOLS OF TEARS

FINDING STROKES WHEREVER I COULD

LAWSUITS AND BATHING SUITS

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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