MEMORY OF LOVE
My song, “Memory of Love,” was written to help me deal with my grief during the time when my mother was still alive. As my mom’s dementia advanced, she was often fearful. I felt lonely; I had lost my best friend. I became the parent and she was like my child.
I visited her frequently at her nursing home. One day, she looked tired as she often did. I noticed how the skin on her arm looked like crumpled tissue paper that had been crunched into a small ball and then unrolled again. Tiny webs of lines crisscrossed her skin. The room was dim and as I leaned close to kiss her, her dull eyes brightened for a moment. She was devouring my face with love. Then she became downcast and said, “I feel so bad for her. You know she got lost!”
I asked her, “Mom, who are you feeling bad for; who got lost?”
“You know, you lost her – your friend. The one you used to go shopping with and were so close to,” she whispered. My eyes filled with tears. My mom knew.
She was speaking about herself.
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