My song, “Memory of Love,” was written to help me deal with my grief during the time when my mother was still alive. As my mom’s dementia advanced, she was often fearful. I felt lonely; I had lost my best friend. I became the parent and she was like my child.
I visited her frequently at her nursing home. One day, she looked tired as she often did. I noticed how the skin on her arm looked like crumpled tissue paper that had been crunched into a small ball and then unrolled again. Tiny webs of lines crisscrossed her skin. The room was dim and as I leaned close to kiss her, her dull eyes brightened for a moment. She was devouring my face with love. Then she became downcast and said, “I feel so bad for her. You know she got lost!”
I asked her, “Mom, who are you feeling bad for; who got lost?”
“You know, you lost her – your friend. The one you used to go shopping with and were so close to,” she whispered. My eyes filled with tears. My mom knew.
She was speaking about herself.
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