LET LOVE SHINE A LIGHT

Let these three inspirational songs take you on a healing journey. I went from sadness to joy when I rediscovered the music I loved when I was young.

I am sharing the individual songs, as well as a link to a page with more about each song. (accessed by clicking on the thumbnail image)

“Hang On”

Hanging on meant living in the moment and dealing with the pain. I allowed myself to cry. Sometimes I even screamed or yelled, but I prayed that one day my suffering would ease. Hanging on was my willingness to search for anything that would help me feel better. That included reading books, going to support group meetings and crying along with other grieving people. Hanging on was an expression of vulnerability. When I pictured myself slipping at the end of my rope, I gripped on tighter and prayed for the strength to continue.

Hanging on taught me how strong I was. I plodded onward and did the best I could. No one can truly imagine another person’s pain while in deep grief. When I was deeply grieving, it was so painful I often wondered why I was still alive. I find it unbelievable that I was able to continue working as an artist. I truly did not see color in the world; everything was in black and white for years and years.

And then one day, I saw color again.

“More Than You Know”

I wrote my song “More Than You Know” at the age of 19, when a close friend was drifting away from me. Over a decade later, my lyrics became applicable to the grief I endured after my son Jason died. I revised the lyrics and read them at his funeral.

The lyric line “I thought that you were mine,” was an assumption that has led me to heartbreak. I was forced to accept the harsh reality that no one can ever belong to me. Instead, I held onto what I cherished with all the love in my heart as I let them go. At the beginning when my mother had dementia, I was bereft at the loss of the sharp woman she used to be. It was awful watching my father suffer and wish for death. I was depressed receiving reports about the disabilities my children struggled with. Letting go in all of those situations wasn’t easy, but my love carried me through. I also turned that love into compassion and forgiveness. I couldn’t continue to blame myself for not being able to save Jason.

With healing, every day is precious for me. Even during stressful times, I try to find beauty in small moments. Is there a way in your life, you can see beyond your stress and discover miracles?

“My Shining Star”

A shining star is a beautiful metaphor for light. Light illuminates the darkness, which dispels fear, confusion and sadness.

When my mother declined with dementia, I often imagined her speaking to me. I wrote a poem where she called me “her shining star.”

A year after she died, I began composing the music for “My Shining Star.” I felt many emotions guiding me. I imagined that in the moonlight perhaps I was hearing a voice from a future lover. He was my “knight in shining armor” and one day we would meet.

Gradually my song poured forth and dazzled me with its beauty. It ended up having so many meanings for me beyond what it started out with.

I decided that my shining star was the love that came to me from the heavens. Whenever I sang my song, I cried. It was because I heard Jason’s voice whispering in my ear to heal.

I would always hold onto our dream and our love.