Category Archives: Hip fracture-no surgery

I AM THE SANDWICH – PART 2

I love my mother and celebrate her quality of life. There are those who believe in spending countless dollars to extend the suffering of terminally ill patients. I am proud of my willingness to go against medical professionals who believe they know what is best for my mother. I am so sorry for elderly people who do not have an advocate! Continue reading

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YOU WERE THERE – PART 2

It’s no coincidence that as both my parents decline; this song is very close to my heart. On the audio excerpt “He Was There and She Was There,” I became very emotional. Therefore, since I haven’t had time to write new posts, I would love to share my audio story and new versions of my song. All of my stories have instrumentals in the background as I recite lyrics at the beginning of each story. I am planning to eventually market a CD of only instrumental song compositions. Continue reading

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HEALING CAME AT LAST

I’m aware that I have a complicated life. However, because I’ve given myself permission to indulge my passions – well, I feel like I’m the luckiest person on earth. It’s not that I don’t have financial worries, responsibilities, or pressure. It’s just that I am so happy. The pain of grief is indescribable. It is suffocating, torturous, and excruciating. Even those words do not truly capture the feeling of wanting to escape from the world of the living. I have lived with that level of pain. Continue reading

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LONELINESS FILLED MY DREAMS

I was definitely wearing a “Super daughter cape” as I left my mother following her appointment. I wrestled with the “demon of dementia” and had won. My mother went from tears to joy as I steadily convinced her of the reality. As I drove home, however, I still had the familiar gnawing pain inside me. I wondered why I wasn’t more joyful that she had beaten the odds and survived her hip fracture without having surgery!
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EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT AWARE

My friend, Sam, wrote: Do the best that you can for your Mom, but primarily spend time with her and try to enjoy the awareness that she still does have. Keep her comfortable and happy…but please don’t tear yourselves up over this. Professional advocacy, or adversarial relations probably won’t change much for your mom in the long run, but will significantly increase your own stress and discomfort. Continue reading

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I PICKED YOU UP WHEN YOU FELL DOWN

I just got back from an appt. with my mom regarding her hip fracture. This was a second opinion with an orthopedic surgeon. This doctor said that the ball of her hip, although fractured is somewhat “impacted.” In five years of seeing hundreds of patients, he’s only had three patients with this condition who opted not to have surgery. He said that with a fracture like this, 2/3 of the time it can actually heal without surgery.
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YOU WERE THERE-PART 1

Although I try, I just can’t say goodbye
to someone who’s loved me all of my life
I might be sad, and when you’re not there
I’ll still see your love everywhere
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I’VE ALWAYS KNOWN I’M NOT ALONE

The title for this post comes from my new and upcoming song, You Were There. This new song carries the melody of my instrumental song, Farewell. This past week, the lyrics for my upcoming song flowed out from me. Although I did write my song “Alone” before experiencing grief, the absolute truth is that I have never been alone. The love from my mother always enveloped me in safety and comfort.
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I NEVER DREAMED IT’D HAPPEN

“A few nights ago” I was saying goodnight on the phone to my mother. Her voice was soft and she sounded very tired. I was about to hang up, and she said, “Honey, I want to ask you something.” I … Continue reading

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I’M HANGING IN THERE

Yesterday, as she counted and I fell into hypnosis, I definitely felt the sensation. Many times, I don’t. It’s just a very relaxed feeling. Yesterday, I felt a wave of tingling and peace. I could hear my music. Since I have been in the process of composing another song, sometimes the melody will play itself for me when I least expect it. I had no images while under hypnosis, yesterday. Only peace.
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