THE KEY

Copyright 2016 by Judy Unger

After you left I was locked away

In a prison of grief; I cried every day

I couldn’t escape and years went by

I accepted my prison and stopped asking why

–

When I saw the key, I couldn’t believe

The prison doors opened; I could leave

I lost what I loved; grief swallowed me

Until the day I found the key

–

I let myself out, life wasn’t the same

I slowly adjusted and whispered your name

I tried to forget all I went through

But I never let go of my love for you

–

When I saw the key, I couldn’t believe

The prison doors opened; I could leave

It was love that set me free

On the day I found the key

–

When I saw the key, I couldn’t believe

The prison doors opened; I could leave

What I loved most was taken from me

But you came back to give me the key

The story about my song “The Key” was actually written before I composed my song. It was the first time I’d ever done this and was such a refreshing change.

Link to Part 1 of this story:

#518 IMPRISONED BY GRIEF AND MY KEY

For lyrics, stories, and recordings: THE KEY

I hadn’t written a new song for six months and “The Key” was especially healing for me. It represented an opportunity for me to sing with simplicity; something I’ve really gained from working with my wonderful vocal coach, Hannah Anders.

Over the last month, I’ve continued to refine my lyrics. There were a few minor changes and each one held great meaning for me.

Originally, I had a line about “my sentence was over.” I decided to change it to: “the prison doors opened.” This signified freedom without implying punishment and felt much better to me.

In the first verse, I originally sang, “I died every day.” Even though I felt that way, my replacement of “I cried every day” felt better and was also true.

The last change was replacing the line of “I lost all my hope” with “I accepted my prison.” During deep grief, I was certain I would never “get over my child’s death.” Even though I gave up hope, I still silently prayed that someday I would feel better. Accepting my prison represented the ability to cope with life despite my pain. I plodded onward.

I have been busy working on a huge illustration project. I’ve taken breaks to continue singing and recording my music. At the end of this post, I share a live performance of my song at an open mic two weeks ago. I did hesitate on one line because I couldn’t remember my lyric change!

When I shared a preliminary recording of “The Key” a month ago, I received lovely comment from my blogging friend, Allyson Ragonese.  Sadly, Allyson understood all too well about my song because 20 years ago, she lost her beloved sister. I share a link to her beautiful poem that tore at my heart: https://singlemomstand.wordpress.com/2016/05/30/tell-carolann/

In my personal life, I am very excited about the dry eye inspirational video that will be filmed at my apartment in a few days. The film crew consists of three and they are flying from Virginia to Los Angeles where I live.

My childhood friend, Joni, will be included in the video and that is precious. We’ve known each other since we were toddlers. Last week, we went shopping to buy some new outfits for the filming.

I received a breakdown of the shooting schedule and questions to answer related to how I’ve coped with dry eyes. The crew is supposed to arrive at 7 a.m. and the filming will go until mid-afternoon. It will pick up again later in the evening when I perform at an open mic. I’m prepared to accept that it will definitely be a long day.

I am exhilarated to have this amazing opportunity to express myself. I plan to open my heart.

Opening my heart has led to many wonderful things. If I had chosen to withhold writing about my eye condition, this latest opportunity would never have come about.

In ordered to be prepared for my video interview – I decided to write a few notes about ways I’ve coped with my dry eye problems and resulting depression. Without thinking, I titled my paper “Key Points.”

All of those points are ones that I have learned from my prior experience of living in a prison of grief.

I share this picture taken a year ago when my eyes were much worse. I can feel my pain with this image.

Grief continues to be part of my life’s journey. On my video performance below, I choked up on the line of “I’ve never let go of my love for you.” Although I’ve tried to forget about my traumatic life experiences, I’ve accepted that they shaped me into the person I am today. 

My daughter is a “rainbow baby.” She was born 11 months after my son died. I cherish my three children deeply, and never forget about my angel in the sky.

I am thankful I found a key that allowed me to live without suffering as I did for decades after the death of my son. Music was certainly one of the most magnificent keys that helped me to heal.

I also rejoice in how I’ve found a few keys that have greatly helped me with my eye discomfort since last year. I continue to search for more of them.

My Angel in the Sky

© 2016 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.