You will not hear me say, “Time heals.” I have said that hearts do heal and it happens unconsciously. I have said that joy is possible. That is not the same thing. Believe it or not, although time lends some anesthesia to the gut-wrenching pain – for those that succumb to grief it is too late. Grief actually wrecks lives and destroys a persons’ health over time. Healing from grief is torturous hard work. Most people don’t believe they will heal and I was one of those people. Healing isn’t about fixing anything so that’s it goes back to how it was. There are scars forever. And nothing heals when it festers either. In my fourth year of bereavement I wrote: How can my heart ever heal when it continues to bleed? The answer was that it couldn’t! Continue reading →