Posts Tagged ‘illustrator’

IT’S NO SECRET ANYMORE

March 20, 2013

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#30 SET YOU FREE

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I share here a recent new vocal for my song “Set You Free.” In the latter half of my song, I cry while singing because I deeply miss my father who died 9 months ago. Clicking the blue link plays audio:

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SET YOU FREE-4/6/13 Copyright 2011 by Judy Unger

 

I also share here a brief recent audio clip from my voice lesson last week with Kimberly Haynes:

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 LESSON KIMBERLY 3/17/13 BLOG EXCERPT

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“Setting myself free”

I had planned to release my first audio book early this year, but now I’ve decided to record new vocals for the songs that accompany my book’s stories. Much of my current writing and new songs are material for a second audio book that I plan to create.

 

For such a long time, my children and husband were skeptical and annoyed with my confidence about the new direction in my life. I stopped sharing anything about it with them and kept everything to myself. The joy that came from my music and writing was tempered by the fact that my family saw no monetary value in it.

 

Although my income as an illustrator had considerably shrunk from what it was a decade earlier, I still had a steady revenue from my stock illustrations. I always held out faith that there would be a custom assignment; occasionally they came along to fuel my faith just when my self-esteem was at a low point.

 

Once again, this happened for me! It might be awhile before I post again because I received a large project this week. I will be painting many fruit illustrations that will be used on yogurt labels for a national brand. 

A quick photo taken with my cell phone, I sit in that chair and sing vocals for my songs.

A quick photo taken with my cell phone, I sit in that chair and sing vocals for my songs.

“I go to places that heal me”

I could not have passionately pursued my love for writing and music without separating from my husband. There are arranging and recording costs that I now bear – and gladly. Although my soon-to-be ex thought he was supportive, I felt uncomfortable continuing to spend our money on something he felt was a drain. It was as if I was keeping a secret from him. Initially, I didn’t feel that way. But one day I woke up to the fact that I was only able to truly express myself through my song lyrics. The sadness of that overwhelmed me. People who read my blog and heard my songs understood me better than my own family!

 

With my separation, I heard this line from my husband of: “You probably need to go out and get a job.” Initially I thought that might be true, especially since I wouldn’t have health insurance.

 

But life is all about choices. Certainly, when I went to buy my first car in 20 years – I didn’t splurge on a sports car! (I leased a Honda Civic, which I am enjoying). I’ve chosen a frugal lifestyle in order to pursue my passions. With my father’s death, living in the coop where I grew up was a wonderful opportunity for me. I am also thankful to have both of my brothers supporting me in this decision; they have really been there for me. I plan to pay them for their interest in the coop once my former home sells and I receive money from it.

 

I see great value in what I am doing with my life and where I am going. I am unapologetic. I believe I am the richest woman in the world!

 

There is a wonderful line in my song “The Unknown.” It is: “I go to places that heal me.” That is what my life is about; I heal myself and hope to heal other people, too.

 

Below are some words I wrote two months ago. With my divorce agreement pending, it was not in my best interest to talk about how devoted I am to my music.

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Floral Bouquet

 

Prior to rediscovering my love for music and writing at the age of fifty, my career was one as a commercial artist. Throughout the time I was an illustrator, my children were my highest priority.

 

My firstborn child, Jason died at the age of five. Because he had a congenital heart defect, I needed to by very involved with his care. I was fortunate I worked at home and was able to be alert to his needs.

 

For many years, I also advocated for my three living children in order to obtain whatever services they needed in school. When I began my blog, I wrote a lot about them and what being an advocate entailed. My motive was to help others who were also struggling with similar issues. I also wrote to release trauma I carried due to many tough situations involving my children.

 

Six months after writing about those experiences, I deleted most everything that related to my family. In the beginning, they gave me permission to write and share things about them. But many things changed after I suddenly “woke up” and was not the same person I was before I found my joy.

 

My family did not want anything to change, especially the doting mother that I was before.

 

When I started writing my blog and singing again I never imagined that I’d find something completely separate from my children to write about!

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I was illustrating fruit when I was seven.

I was illustrating fruit when I was seven.

My professional fruit illustrations

My professional fruit illustrations-

I might never have discovered my love for writing and music if my career as an illustrator had continued to keep me busy. When I was receiving a lot of work, I managed to juggle all the things I dealt with related to my children, parents and household responsibilities.

But gradually my workload diminished and custom assignments were rare.

 

Many of the people whom I worked with in that industry were also left without jobs – art directors, designers and agents; there were so many people who needed to reinvent their careers. I bemoaned how computers decimated artistry and eliminated so much of the human creative process. I complained how digital paintings were nothing compared to my original watercolor paintings. But then I completely readjusted my thinking!

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People Mag close up 2

A close-up of one of my watercolor paintings.I love the fuzz on the stem, which I created with colored pencil.

A close-up of one of my watercolor paintings.
I love the fuzz on the stem, which I created with colored pencil.

Music, writing and art combined with my computer have made my world richer than any palace on earth!

 

I believe that this time period was the perfect one for me to be born into. The computer has allowed me to create things that I never believed were possible. I love how I can type fast and furiously to capture the words I hear in my mind.

 

But I do not use my computer for composing my songs. They are done with a pen and paper and my beloved acoustic guitar. Writing song lyrics is a process that I find quite mysterious. I do not choose to write them. I hear a song and when I sing, the words are there.

 

I have composed and recorded unique guitar arrangements for many of my songs. I transfer my recordings to a computer where I can edit them. Then with the help of my arranger, George, instrumentation is added until my song becomes a magical symphony. The process of editing vocals was something I taught myself. I compile a vocal line using the best parts of numerous takes.

 

Creating unique images for my blog also gives me the opportunity to utilize my artistic abilities on the computer. I’m adept at Photoshop and love using my own artwork and photographs.

 

Overall, the computer has made writing, music and illustrating fantastic for me. I believe there are no limits to what I can do creatively. And there is one simple reason for it.

 

It is because I have given myself permission.

 

At the age of 53, I’ve decided this time is my renaissance. I embrace it and I love it!

 

My statement of giving myself permission to allow for creativity is a huge one. On so many levels, it is about believing in myself.

 

I really do feel that I have a lot to offer the world. Allowing myself full creative expression after decades of stuffing everything inside, has allowed me to heal. The musical of my life is exploding from my heart and I cannot hold it back anymore. 

Plus, I’ve decided that this is my life and the way I want to live it. Even without a “real job,” I am determined to find ways to continue my renaissance. I have dedicated my life to creating music, songs and stories, which I hope will inspire and heal many people.-

My mom and I outdoors 1

A Recent update:

 

Dear Family and Friends,

 

I have a few things I can share – a lot has been going on for me! First of all, my children are doing well. They are adjusting and I am proud of all three of them.

 

For two months, I have had some continuing eye issues. I followed my good friend, Dr. Sam’s suggestion and saw a retinal specialist outside of my HMO for another opinion. It turns out that the fogginess in my left (and right eye, too) is a separate issue from my floater episode. There is a remaining edge to a cataract, which sometimes intrudes and is cloudy – a simple laser procedure can eliminate the cloudiness and solve my problem.

 

The procedure is scheduled in two weeks. I am trying hard to find out if it could happen sooner.

 

My divorce is proceeding. There are many issues left regarding back support and money related to our homes that our lawyers are working on resolving. But child and spousal support has begun for me! The agreement was signed at the end of February.

 

Our home went on the market a week ago. It sold for well over the list price – we had 8 offers! The housing market is definitely cooking. Escrow opens on Monday and our broker said it would take 17 days to be sure if our sale will go through or not. So I am crossing my fingers. My husband and oldest son do not yet know where they are moving.

 

My mother continues to hang in there. She cannot communicate much – but she still recognizes family and she can say, “I love you.” I go out with her to lunch in a restaurant two times a week. Miriam (my mom’s companion) dotes on her and my mom adores her.

 

I am living in a small coop/apartment with two of my children in North Hollywood. I have been devoting myself to my music. I found a wonderful recording studio near my apartment where I am recording vocals for the music CD that will accompany my book. The musician helping me is named Darrin, he is extremely talented and his parents have become wonderful new friends of mine.

 

But my music must pause briefly because I was awarded a large illustration assignment this week. It will keep me very busy for a while. Things are definitely looking up for me!

 

Love, Judy

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The door going out to my new life.

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My post title is a line of lyrics from my song “The Door.” I have not yet publicly shared two of my songs. I plan to share my song “The Door” very soon.

 

Below are clips from a discussion about it with my former vocal coach Peaches in July of 2012. Clicking the blue links play audio:

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PEACHES LESSON A – 7/16/12 THE DOOR

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PEACHES LESSON B – 7/16/12 THE DOOR

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These are my lyrics for “The Door” in progress. These are lyrics that I didn’t use.

Lyrics for “The Door” in progress; I didn’t use these particular ones.

© 2013 by Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

SHE GAVE ME WINGS

August 15, 2010

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In 1997, I received an illustration assignment for a series of note cards. I ended up illustrating six butterflies, a honeybee, and two flowers. Of those paintings, only the four butterflies were published.

Whenever I painted anything, the first thing I did was search out reference. Because I liked insects and butterflies, I had a few books and photos. While looking at my files, I came across a clipping. It mentioned that there was a lady who wasn’t too far away from where I lived. She specialized in renting insects. I called her and set up an appointment. This would be perfect, because an actual insect would be much better reference than any photo in a book.

Here are some of my own specimens, which I’ve started collecting!

 

The house was on a residential street; I tapped on the screen door. I was about to leave when I heard a lady yell to me that she would be there soon. I waited, and it took about ten minutes. The door swung open and there was a huge woman in a wheelchair; she was gasping from the effort of coming to answer the door. I had never seen anyone as large in my entire life. I would estimate that she weighed perhaps, five hundred pounds. She beckoned me inside.

As I entered a dim room, I was still blinded by the incredible colors and reflections that surrounded me. Every available space on the walls had insect specimens on them. There were glowing iridescent beetles, enormous moths, shimmering, metallic looking butterflies and scores of frightening spiders and scorpions. It was such a dazzling display!

I was fascinated. I followed this woman as she struggled to push herself in her wheelchair toward a back room. When she caught her breath, she warmly shook my hand and introduced herself as Cathy. With great effort, she pulled out a few trays from different cabinets. When she needed to go into the other room to get more, it was with a lot of difficulty. I was very patient, because I was observing the spectacle before me – I had never seen such a beautiful display of insects.

Insects had always fascinated me, so this was truly engrossing for me. I had given her a list of butterfly species that I needed to illustrate, and Cathy opened up one of her trays to remove an insect.

She gently lifted out the specimen and pinned it onto a board. She used tweezers and deftly adjusted each antenna and leg. We talked while she worked. She enjoyed sharing information about butterflies. I had already known that the powder on their wings was very important; touching a live butterfly wing can end up killing the insect if enough of the powder comes off.

We discussed how many insects I would be taking home. She charged me $30 a specimen, which was lower than her usual fee. The insects were very delicate, and I left her house taking great care not to damage then.

After I illustrated six butterflies, I was asked to illustrate a honeybee. I called Cathy and asked her if she had any. We set up another appointment.

Just like the last time, it took her a very, long time to answer the door. She shared that recently she had been ill and her face was ashen. I felt very sorry for her, and asked if there was anything I could do. We talked for a long time about many things. She created artistic displays using butterfly wings, and her passion was evident. I enjoyed being with her.

Since my next illustration was of a honeybee, she showed an array of bees. I had no idea there were so many types! It was difficult for me to know which one my client wanted illustrated. Cathy generously said she’d give me a few extra for the same price. Although it was rare for me to feel squeamish, I did when looking at the huge stingers on some of those bees!When my project was finished, I called Cathy. However, I did not reach her and my calls were not returned. A few days later, I received a call.

The woman on the phone told me that the “Butterfly Lady” had died; Cathy was 54 years old. I was asked to kindly return the specimens, which I did.

I was invited to a memorial service for her. However, I was not prepared to face all the sadness. I wondered what demons plagued this ill, housebound woman, who was far too young to succumb to death at only 54 years of age. I spoke at length to the woman sharing the news with me; Cathy had a lot of friends and family that would be there.

If I listed regrets in my life, this would be there. I wish I had gone.

At my art blog there are more images and stories about my butterfly illustrating experiences!

#31 WINGING THESE ILLUSTRATIONS -POST ON JUDY’S ART BLOG

The magazine clipping that started it all.

 

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

THIS ONE IS LIFELONG; THE MUSIC IS FOREVER

July 8, 2010

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A photo taken with Char at my oldest son’s Bar Mitzvah six years ago. Wow, do I look different with make-up!

Lifelong adj

Lasting the whole of a lifetime. Enduring.

“Friendship with an open heart”

This past weekend, my husband and older son were away on a short trip together. I appreciated how I could play my guitar at odd hours, and not have to fix as many meals in the kitchen. It was nice seeing them both again when they returned!

While they were gone, I had a wonderful visit with my friend, Charlotte. I was eager to share with Char my newfound passions. I shared a lot with her about my blogging process, and then I played my guitar. I felt so happy and savored the joy I felt as I shared my transformation with her. She marveled at the changes in me, and her adoration was palpable.

In the past, I never shared much with her about myself. I was much more focused on trying to extract her knowledge as an advocate for my children. It was almost as if she were “the teacher” and I were “the student.” This visit was very different.

I shared with her how much happier I am with what I am doing; I told her I never enjoyed being an artist that much. Charlotte couldn’t grasp that I was leaving illustration and painting behind. She didn’t want to see me let go of a talent that I had honed for thirty years.

I launched into a detailed explanation. I have hardly painted at all in the last five years. I was always a “problem solver” illustrator; except for painting demanding portfolio paintings occasionally – I never painted anything for myself.

Charlotte’s voice was serious, “I love your artwork – you must continue it! It is so beautiful and you could do wonderful things outside of confinement. With your ability you could create beautiful paintings expressing yourself.”

I gave her an example: my painting of perfume bottles. I spent a hundred hours painting it. Now anyone could take a photo (myself included), go on Photoshop, and create imagery similar to what I used to do by hand on a white piece of watercolor paper.”

The computer killed my business, but at the same time made my work so much easier. I take digital photos; efficiently and quickly make them into paintings. My old process used to take me oodles of hours. I don’t want to go back there! I am not planning to turn down assignments; of course, I do get one occasionally. The process of using my computer has been very helpful, efficient, and much quicker.

Although I’ve had technical ability, my heart was never expressed through painting and art. Artwork was always about perfection! Writing is a creative process that allows for a full expression of emotion. Music is about simply conveying what I feel and hear inside of me. In music and writing, I express myself and there is no perfection there; only my attempt to share as best I can.

After Charlotte left, I marveled how much more connected I felt to her. My heart was open and I celebrated my humanity during this magical time in my life.

Steve and I playing “Chaseaway” (a game I invented to torment him) when we were little.

“Little Girl Found”

I find it amazing how I have reconnected with my childhood friends.

Steve was the little boy I used to boss around when I was eight years old. He was my slave, and I wasn’t always very nice to him. Steve and I played practically every day together until he moved away when I was ten. I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him until earlier this year. By my count, that would be about forty years!

In my memorabilia box, I found a letter that I had written to Steve when I was very young. I have a lot of curiosity as to why it was never mailed.

The letter that was never mailed to Steve. It’s so yellow, it’s hard to read.

With Photoshop I made it more readable. I played with crystals instead of a crystal ball!

I love the last line: “I keep writing letters because I have nothing else to do, so you are going to get a lot of letters!”

Steve and I are both holding plastic fish.

When I first began practicing, Steve offered to take some cassettes and convert them into digital files. I had a few cassettes with my original songs recorded. I also shared with him the cassette tape where I spoke at Jason’s funeral. I still have not listened to it since the funeral.

Now Steve is very involved in my music. He has come to several recording sessions at George’s studio. He often spends his time creating improved mixes of my songs, and has shared many tools to help me on the computer. Recently he even lent me an excellent microphone and interface for recording at home.

When I’ve gone back to listen to my earlier recordings, I do cringe. However, my heart has been warmed by Steve’s encouragement and support. He liked my music even when it was “cringe-worthy!” The few times when Steve has heard me sing, I’ve felt so human because I’ve struggled with keeping pitch. One time, I asked Steve if he thought I would be able to carry my songs with my “vocal limitations.” I knew he would be honest.

I was elated that he thought I most certainly could! Sharing my improvement with him has been tremendous fun.

Seeing Steve for the first time after forty years, this past April.

I have often struggled with disappointment in my relationships. Disappointment was about my perfectionism that inevitably led to friends “letting me down.”

When I was very young, I searched for a “best friend.” I never had a sister, and often wondered what it would be like. I desperately wanted to be close to my neighbor/friend Joni. She often disappointed me because she was very moody at times. There were good reasons, since she had a very difficult childhood. Mostly, I was frustrated that she was never available to play with me. Because she was required to work in her parents’ dry cleaning store every day, we attended different schools.

We’ve known each other since we were three years old.

Joni always went with my family on vacations and here we’re at the snow.

By high school we finally attended the same school. It was an opportunity to become closer. I was not a very good friend. I was jealous of my beautiful friend, Joni; she was very popular with guys. When we went to a dance together and she left with a new boyfriend, I was very angry with her. I detached myself, and created a lot of distance.

I remember one day playing my guitar on a bench in high school. Joni sat down to listen to me play. I was able to play about 200 songs from the 1970’s by heart. That day I sang the Gordon Lightfoot song, “If You Could Read My Mind.” Joni enjoyed sitting with me and I remember it was a sunny and beautiful moment.

An honest card I received from her before I got married.

Perhaps it was a few months after that, when I noticed she was very depressed. I hadn’t heard from her in a while, and knocked on her door. She answered and looked like she hadn’t changed her clothes in a week. Her hair was stringy and I was concerned. She had broken up with a boyfriend, but this was more than that. I was worried about her, but I don’t remember much about what happened after that. Earlier this year she shared with me how difficult that time was for her; how she was depressed and unsure about her life.

I distanced myself from all of my friends when I got married. My career was very isolating. Then, when I had a sick child, I was far too consumed with that for friendship. With my son’s death, I was only able to be with fellow, bereaved parents for a very long time. I stayed in touch with most of my friends, but my heart was very closed. I hardly saw Joni for many, many years even though she didn’t live that far away.

Earlier this year, I felt so appreciative while spending time with her when she introduced me to a music producer. Monday night was the second time since then that she came to watch me perform at Kulak’s Woodshed.

This past Monday, I was picked as the twenty-seventh performer. I estimated that I had at least an hour and a half to wait, which was plenty of time to get nervous! I enjoyed watching the other performers, but decided to take a stretch outside to banish my jitters. I called Joni, and she invited me to visit since she only lived a few blocks away.

She hugged me warmly. Since I’ve been writing and I’m a different person, I’ve felt very much appreciated by all my friends.

I had a few minutes and told Joni I could play some songs to warm up my voice.

I remembered she had sent me such a nice email message the day before. She had mentioned Gordon Lightfoot. I started to warble, “If You Could Read My Mind” and I was transported back to that day on our high school quad.

Joni said, “I remember one time hearing you play.You were so good, and I felt sad that we weren’t close. I just wanted to sit there for hours and listen to you play.”

I played in Joni’s living room for about twenty minutes and then headed back to Kulak’s.

When I performed, I could feel the warmth seeing Joni in the audience with her husband. I came home to another beautiful message from her. She wrote:

“You were amazing at Kulak’s. Thanks for keeping us in the loop; Ben and I enjoyed our night out. I love you, I feel so special with you. It is great being somebody who knows you.”

An earlier message from Joni yesterday, after I shared with her my recording of So Real:

Thank you so much for this song. The peace your song brought me helped me. It was like an onionskin or an overlay for me to rest on. Your song connected me to the love I have for my daughter in a calm way. I needed the extra comfort that your downy, soft heartfelt song for Jason provided. I can’t believe how his life has touched you so deeply. Jason did have an amazing spirit matched by an incredible smile. Beautiful beyond words, I am so sorry that you have had to go through this pain, but you have managed amazing feats because of the situation you were/are in. Your song, your friends, your poetry, your depth of emotion mesmerizes me. I remember the day you called me and let me know what had happened, and I was and am so glad that you include me in your life. You’re my sister and I love you very much. You have turned a mother’s worst nightmare into other avenues that express the emotions of the soul in such a deep, loving, sharing, thoughtful way that no one else can do. You are my hero, and I am proud of how you have been able to deal with the death of your firstborn, and so many other difficult situations. I wish you continued strength creating and soothing yourself and the woes of others.

I love you, Joni

The “writer inside” returned to me today in the early morning hours. I had to write about my shame that I allowed disappointment to close my heart so many times in my life. I was remembering those feelings, and how this year so many things about my friend were revealed to me. She struggled so much in high school and I hadn’t understood. I remembered how desperately I had wanted to be closer with her when we were very young.

I used to wish I had a crystal ball. If I had, how amazed I might have been to think of these future moments.

Message from Joni this morning:

Jude,

It is amazing how similar your voice is to Peaches. I like your rendition the best. You have more feeling in your singing and she has more perfection, whatever that means.

Do you ever feel like letting go when you sing and just belt it out????  Or do you?

Last night, I wasn’t feeling well, all headachy, so I sat in the dark and listened to your 5 or 6 songs and basically cried through many of them. I liked thinking that some of the thoughts behind the words were about me. I guess I like thinking that I am important, vanity I guess. It is fun growing older and coming to understand myself better.

Well, I always knew you were talented and bright, and it comes out in your work. You are so talented and gifted in putting your words together. I can’t believe I was so lucky to have you as my childhood friend

Lots of continued growth and success to you,

Love always, Joni

Dearest Joni,

You have well been on my mind; in fact, I actually spent hours writing a beautiful post about the story of our friendship. I was so moved while visiting you on Monday, and having you come a second time to see me play at Kulak’s!

The story of our friendship is very heartfelt. My gift to you is to let you know how special you are in my life.

Knowing that my songs have moved you means so very much to me. On top of that, what can I say when you prefer my singing ability to my teacher’s? I have always thought my voice was inferior. It has been very exciting at my age, to discover that I could improve to reach this point. WOW!!!!

I would say that you are definitely a part of the songs I’ve written. I could start with the song, “How We Don’t Care.” The theme of closing my heart has been very familiar for me. I’m certain I was that way with you when I was younger.

However, I was thinking of you today when I was singing “Another You.”

My songs are about my life. The fact that I wrote them when I was twenty doesn’t mean they don’t apply to what I’ve experienced later on. In fact, I connect with every one of my songs – they transport me each and every time.

I am so lucky to share my life with someone I’ve grown up with – you. We always carry the memories of our childhood and inside we are the same even though are bodies have changed.

I love you, Jude

An excerpt from my song, Another You:

“And here I am singing to you,

When I know that you’ve heard most of my songs

But this one is lifelong; the music is forever.

And I know if I search my whole life through,

I’ll never find another you,

I could search and search my memories, too,

And I’ll never find, I’ll never find another you.”

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

SHE SELLS SEASHELLS

May 18, 2010

BLOG TABLE OF CONTENTS

My life continues to be “magical.”

Without any more food issues, I’ve continued to lose weight. I have so much energy!

I am a totally, different person. I’ve eliminated my former, judgmental statements. When I notice myself using the word “should,” I stop. If I’m not tired, I’m not concerned about staying up really late. I don’t say, “It’s not right.”

When I’m irritated, I express it. I laugh a lot. I yell a lot, but I’m trying to reduce that. It’s not all bad – when I miss a ball in tennis, my outbursts are pretty funny to my friends.

Trust me; I’m still a “sandwich.” I could write a long, long list here about all the responsibilities I continue to face.

At the moment, I am awaiting word about a large, illustration assignment consisting of nine illustrations. That would definitely impact my blogging, however, it would be a relief financially. I’ll be able to justify recording even more of my music. I might even plan a family vacation. My husband has been looking a little irritated lately. His job exhausts him.

I’ve started my art blog, which now has eight posts. I have at least fifteen more posts in the works. That involves a lot of “media preparation.” I have many existing scans of artwork, but not of old paintings from college. I have been digging through some of my old portfolios and it’s been a blast. I’ve actually enjoyed seeing the box of my old, seashell collection.

I’ve decided to share a post from my art blog about my seashell painting experiences. For more images and technical information, my art blog has the same post with those extras at the end.

Besides doing an art blog, I am actively involved with my music. I have been debating about whether I am ready to share what I’ve been working on. It has been extremely inspiring after thirty years to improve musically again. I would love to share this journey also.

If there were any message I could impart from my total turn around since February, it would be that there’s no time limit for following dreams!

 

In 1981, I had just graduated from college. I began my career with a portfolio of watercolor paintings.

My food paintings were my strongest. I began to create “portfolio pieces” that were of food images. Those portfolio images were created in order to sell my style. I joked that art directors would save my image of a Nestlé’s Crunch bar because it made them hungry!

I obtained a list of advertising agencies and began to contact artist representatives in other cities to see if they were interested in my work.

I made appointments to see art directors. That part was quite difficult. Most of them were too busy to make time to speak to a new artist on the phone, let alone see them. I did a lot of “envelope stuffing!” I would follow-up to see if the art directors received my postcard and promotional material.

I also decided to show my watercolors to publishers of fine art prints and posters. I went to see a publisher in Los Angeles. He seemed very interested in one of my paintings. It was a watercolor painting of a medley of seashells.

MY FIRST SEASHELL PAINTING DONE WHILE IN COLLEGE.

He said, “I could see this as a series of prints. You would need about eight paintings. These paintings should be done in pairs. Use different approaches – incorporate driftwood on two, and do a pair of large, solo shells. Do some as a medley, and a pair with variations of shell sizes. When you’re finished, bring them in for me to see.”

My foray into the world of publishing began.

I began my search for reference.

I found a warehouse that sold seashells. I walked down the aisles of seashells and marveled at the exquisite colors and shapes to choose from. I purchased the ones I felt were best suited for my paintings.

I found a “driftwood” furniture maker who had some small pieces of wood I could buy. I brought home my reference and began to take photographs. I set up a sandbox in my backyard, and this was before I had children!

MY PHOTO REFERENCE.

I began my paintings. I worked fairly large on the driftwood paintings.

I experimented to find a way to create the effect of sand. I practiced splattering with a toothbrush, so that it resembled sand. I loved the effect! My fingers became stained with dark brown.

A CLOSE UP LOOK AT THE SAND.

It took me about six months to finish all the paintings.

All of that work didn’t translate into money, for sure. However, as a novice artist I wanted to be published. I asked a friend of mine who graduated with a business major if he could “help me negotiate.” He went to speak with the publisher. The most the publisher was willing to pay me was $125 per painting. He crossed out the $100 he had initially started with.

MY CONTRACT.

I believe the publisher became annoyed by the fact that I asked my friend to negotiate for me. After that, he required me to sign another contract with his company in order to be published. This was called a “Right of First Refusal.” He didn’t want me to go elsewhere and cause any kind of competition for the seashell prints. I was able to get him to agree to a time limit on it.

AN AD FOR A PAIR OF MY PRINTS. THEY SOLD FOR $20 EACH.

There was more to my story.

I remember when the prints were all finished. In order to get paid, I was required to hand-sign the editions of prints. The edition for each print was 1,200.

There was a certain smell to a new print. It was intoxicating. I was nervous when I came to see those stacks of prints. I was not that confident about my handwriting, and wanted to have a nice signature.

It took me many hours to earn $125. After many hours of signing my name on 1,200 prints, my hand was very tired.

There were eight seashell subjects I had to do this with!

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

MY TEACHER AND INSPIRATION IN MY LIFE

April 19, 2010

BLOG TABLE OF CONTENTS

An early, watercolor assignment.

I was enjoying college. I was dating, folk dancing with my friends, and life was very carefree.

I had no intention of majoring in art while in college.

I struggled with the perplexing decision of what I should major in. I didn’t enjoy making such a huge decision about my future. Although I had good grades, I wasn’t academically inclined. I was anxious about how I would be able to decide a major since time was running out.

Although I was artistic, I went though a period of time where it was too frustrating for me. If I drew something that was imperfect, I’d have to start over. I started over so often! Although I was good at drawing mazes, I hadn’t done much other art.

I took a few classes, but wouldn’t have remotely considered an art career. I loved music and my guitar, but realized that wouldn’t be something to major in.

Then I took a class in watercolors, and I found my technique! It was a joyous discovery when I accidentally used a different paper to work on. I loved the effect of the smoother surface for my minute details. Later on, I graduated from working with traditional watercolors to dyes. The brilliant and smooth resulting washes in dye were gradually tamed, as I learned the properties of each unique color. The downside of dye is that my work can never be displayed, because dye colors are transient and quickly fade away.

Almost everything that I’ve learned has been self-taught. I developed my very own personal technique of painting. I began to improve with every painting I did from the very beginning. I can see my progress, because so many of my beginning paintings are still hanging in my parents’ vacant apartment.

With only a fair mastery of watercolors, I enrolled in my first illustration class. I was blown away that the instructor was quite an established illustrator. She was an editorial artist, and almost every Sunday I would see her drawings in the Los Angeles Times editorial section. Her name was Nancy Ohanian.

Nancy was an inspiring and demanding teacher. Her passion was a catalyst for me. I decided I could become an artist like her. I was no longer confused any more!

During the time I was in Nancy’s class, I connected with her. She was easy to talk to, and very encouraging to me. I hesitate to say this, but from the very start I considered her my friend.

I remember writing about Nancy in my old diary. I looked at my words from that time in my life, and I was very moved by something I had written. Recently, I shared my diary entry with Nancy. She gave me permission to write this story.

A surreal illustration assignment – A fountain pen is the body of the butterfly

Children’s Book Cover Illustration Assignment.

My Teacher, My Mentor

This is the story of a mentor and a friend. Connections with former teachers in my life have inspired me so much.

Beyond what I wrote in my diary, I knew how important Nancy was to keep me focused on finding my way in my art career. Ironically, I haven’t seen Nancy for perhaps twenty years. Before that, we saw each other on only a few special occasions.

One time we went hiking together. She came to my baby shower for Jason. I know that because I found a picture of her there!

Before I had children, we used to talk on the phone for hours. My very first job for Celestial Seasonings was obtained through the same agent as Nancy. Nancy told her artist representative all about me and arranged for me to bring my portfolio to show her agent.

The agent said she’d find me work. I received my very first high pressure illustration assignment. It was an illustration to be used in the coupon section of the newspaper (FSI ad). It was an illustration for Celestial Seasonings. I had one week to complete it for which I would be paid $2,500.

It was exciting and terrifying! I didn’t sleep that week. I learned so much!

I turned in that job, and it came back to me – something had to be completely changed! There was no time to redo it either.

This was my first experience about how I needed to be resourceful. I repainted the area that needed changing. I cut it out and glued it over the first painting! My job was accepted. I was exhausted! But, there was only one problem. The agent would not pay me.

Nancy felt terrible about my bad experience with her agent. Later on, she had problems with her, too. We both laugh about it now.

Once I had graduated, I returned to Nancy’s illustration classes and did watercolor demonstrations. I enjoyed doing those demonstrations very much. At that time, Nancy was teaching at California State University Los Angeles. I applied there with her encouragement, and began my first part-time teaching job.

I’ve taught illustration in four different venues since that time. With Jason’s challenges, it became too difficult for me to continue teaching.

I still keep in touch with several of my students. One is a very good friend.

My first job for Celestial Seasonings

Actual print ad from my job – I hated the black background; how can the glass be transparent?

A later job for the same company – my illustration is the tiny one on the left.

Messages of Love

Nancy taught at Cal State Los Angeles. The year that Jason died, Nancy moved to New Jersey and to teach at Rowen University. Through the years, we stayed in touch. We communicated fairly infrequently.

When my mother was very ill, I sent out an email to all my friends sharing what was happening.

The key to my survival, during my mother’s illness, was the love and support that I received from my friends. Nancy and I began to have some lovely email exchanges. Actually, lovely is not the word for it.

Nancy’s messages were especially comforting to me.

Comfort flooded me with energy, and sustained me when I was falling down. I would like to share some of my exchanges with my former art teacher. Nancy Ohanian has been a professor of art at Rowen University in New Jersey since 1992.

Nancy came to my baby shower before I had Jason.

A card from Nancy.

Another card from Nancy.

On Dec 10, 2009, at 6:01 AM, Nancy wrote:

Hey Judy!!

What can be said to comfort and strengthen you, your mom and family!!!!

Just know I am right there with you in spirit, sending my love and support your way. It is impossible to describe how difficult is your burden, Judy. You’re not alone!!!! Again and again. You’re not alone.

You are the most tender and sensitive daughter in the world and clearly your mom is aware of what you are doing for her.

Frankly, you cannot do more. Know that. Hang in there, Judy. You are doing your best. Go with your gut and accept every moment. Accept yourself. Accept your mom. Accept life as it is.

I love you Jude!!

Nan XX

Thanks, Nanc.

You totally understand how hard this is. I am doing as best I can. I already miss talking with her so much. I’ll continue to keep you posted and try to accept this situation.

Love, Jude

Ps. I had a call the other day for a huge art job. Tough timing, but an amazing thing to actually get in this economy.

On Dec 12, 2009, at 9:11 PM, Nancy wrote:

Thanks, Judy.

All I can say is you are amazing. Stay strong Judy!! Stay strong for yourself and your mom.

I’m thinking of you and I care very, very much!!!

Love Nan

Hi Nan,

I appreciate your thinking of me.  I am in a bubble of pain, but I’m hoping for the best.  It’s so hard! Glad I can share with you.

Love, Judy

On Dec 30, 2009, at 12:37 PM, Nancy wrote:

Hey Jude!!!

That’s great news all around!

Glad to hear your mom is doing well. Glad about your illustration assignment too!!! You must be the only illustrator in town who is working at the moment. Yes, the timing is perfect.

Hoping things continue to improve and you’re able to focus on your painting.

Thanks for the update. It does sound as though the writing is helpful for you to sort out all the feelings and give shape to what is happening. Seems healthy for you. Good to know your mom is improving. Your loyalty and commitment are amazing.

I am glad to know you’re taking time for tennis and hypnotherapy. If it’s helping you deal with all that has happened, thank goodness! I do hope your brothers can now help with the heavy load.

I am reading your emails regularly, Judy, and supporting you with my thoughts and prayers.

Love, Nan XX

Thanks, Nanc. I do feel lucky about the project. And you’d be proud of me; it’s all digital. I never thought I’d figure that part out!

Hope all is well with you. Stay well!

Love, Jude

On Jan 21, 2010, at 3:37 AM, Nancy wrote:

Hi Judy,

You are shining, Judy. You are doing everything a loving and devoted daughter can possibly do for her mom. There is nothing more that can be asked of anyone. Your mom knows that and you can live with yourself knowing your decisions were compassionate and made to the best of your ability with the information provided. The doctors are also making their decisions based upon info we may not be aware of at the moment. Everyone has limits.

I believe you are doing everything with thoughtful consideration in spite of the stress. You are doing amazingly well. Judy, as hard as it is, just stay the course, stay strong and stay connected to everyone who supports you in any way you need.

Love Nan XX

Thanks, Nan. I love you so much. I can feel your hug. It’s so helpful to hear this.

Love, Judy

I am so in the moment. Ahhhh!

It would be interesting to share this with my mom.  She said to me the other day, “Our roles are reversed, now I’m the child!”  I told her, “Roles don’t matter; some thing’s never change – especially our love for each other!”

Love always, Jude (your former student!)

On Jan 26, 2010, at 4:24 PM, Nancy wrote:

Hi Judy!

I have been reading your emails as though reading a book of life’s wisdom and compassion. (I so wish I was Jewish. Hahaha!) Your thoughts are so very tender, insightful, loving, reflecting exactly the person you are. Through all your difficulties you have kept an open mind and open heart. (That just blows me away.) You have expressed your feelings with sensitivity to everyone involved. You have shown me first hand that we can become stronger and wiser by accepting our feelings (no matter how painful), being honest about them and about who we are.

You are and always have been one of the most incredible women I have ever known. How fortunate to know you and “meet” the caring friends with whom you have chosen to surround yourself.

What an honor you are to your mother and your family. How interesting it would be if your mom could someday read the email exchanges documenting the last few months. What you have shared and how you have shared your experiences have become a tribute to your mom and effectively a tribute to yourself.

Rest in this single moment. Ahhhhhhh. :O)

Lots of love,

Nan XX

On 1/29/10 4:13 PM, Judy wrote:

Hi Nanc,

Okay, since you sent me an image, I’m sharing two illustrations with you. I’ve got such a big smile – thanks so much, Nanc.  I still remember when you gave me a “C” on my first illustration assignment in your class. I’m sure you don’t remember, but it was a black and white editorial illustration. I did much better when I took up watercolors.

These three paintings that I did for Frito Lay were done about three months ago. I don’t think I had picked up a paintbrush for a year at least. Therefore, I was very proud that I still remembered how. It was difficult for me to try to keep them “loose.”

I am also very stuck on the digital. I love it, but I also hate the fact that it killed my business! Let’s hope 2010 is a great year for both of us!

Love, Jude

Hahahahaha! You’re too funny, Judy!!!

Yes, I have nightmares about giving you a “C.” I deserve it!!! You’re so awesome. I tell that story to my students. Oy, yoy, yoy!!!

I only wish I had all Judy Ungers in my classes!

I totally LOVE your paintings, Judy! You still have it!!! You didn’t forget!  I often wonder if I could still draw the way I did. It has been so long. Once in awhile I will pick up my pens just to see if the feel is still there. I think it is, but I believe I may be a bit rusty. Hahaha! I guess I don’t have the patience at the moment to draw as the ink ever-so-s l o w l y seeps out of that tiny pen.

Judy, NO ONE illustrates food like you do. NO ONE. I understand how you feel, that “digitalia” (Haha) killed our business. Yes, it really has changed the business SOOOO much. I don’t get any jobs anymore, except about one or two a year. In fact, these days I make very little from my syndicate! I feel so fortunate to have this teaching job, even tho it is in NJ. Yuk!!

You are so good with color, contrast and composition. And don’t you just love making splashes. Hahahaha! I’m really into splashes! I so wish you were here. I would beg you to teach an illustration class. I am still learning about color. It’s really challenging. You seem to have a very special understanding of it. It has taken years for me to finally create a palette I am comfortable with on the computer. I imagine it will be another difficult challenge if I ever start using paint.

Really fun “talking” with you, Judy, and seeing your beautiful work!

I am still thinking about you and your mom.

You get an “A+” for being you! :O)

Love Nan XX

Hi Nancy,

Thank you so much for your message. I’ve been smiling all day about it, and only now was able to write you back. To tell you the truth, I did deserve that “C.”

What can I say? Before your class, I wasn’t sure I’d become an illustrator. How lucky I am to have such a loving friend that was my teacher when I was 20 years old! I don’t have time to write what I’d like at this moment, but let’s definitely stay in touch more. Your digital work, and the switch you made from B & W to color especially inspire me.

Someday, I am going to come visit you in New Jersey and lecture for your classes.

Love, Judy

(I shared a link to videos from my youngest son’s Bar Mitzvah)

On Jan 29, 2010, at 8:39 PM, Nancy wrote:

Dear Judy,

I watched all 7 videos and have a lump in my throat. It was my first Bar Mitzvah! You’re an incredible mom, Judy.You have a wonderful family.

I am happy your mom is feeling better. It has become a very sweet month. Thanks for letting me be a part of your life.

Love Nan XX

Dearest Nancy,

You have always been a part of my life! What a blessing to have a sweetness come from so much trial and tribulation. I have been given such a gift, and I love sharing it with everyone.  I always know now how lucky I am to have found so much support from my family and friends.

Love, Judy

Ps. I am going to transcribe for you something I wrote in my diary in 1978 (word for word):

Diary Excerpt from May 15th, 1979:

Yesterday was an experience that I shall remember for the rest of my life. Another human being – one who affects me – whom I admire – I touched her, Nancy Ohanian – successful artist, loner – told me that she feels comfortable with me, something she’s never felt before and that I remind her of when she was 19.

And now I suppose I should know that I’m special. I’ve heard “versions” of that before – but this is from a qualified artist, but – it was not applied only in art! In life! Of course I want to believe that – what will happen to me? I feel very inspired.

I want to reach out to this teacher – although she might not want me at all. Maybe I want to intrude upon her loneliness. I don’t know. But yesterday was a historic moment in my life – see – I’m not older looking back at what I’d done in my life – now is what I will do – what I will become. And I’m going to become something!

OMG!!!

Hahaha!!

That is SOOOO humbling, Judy! Scary!

Oy!!!

Please don’t feel you must remove the loner or loneliness part. It’s true.

You inspired ME. You inspire me. YOU taught ME. YOU TEACH ME.

One thing is for sure. You have become a hell-of-a-lot better than I, compared to whatever you may have thought about me as an artist and a human being.

I could never reach you, Judy.

Love Nan XXX

Sorry, teach, but there is no comparing human beings. I am insulted when you say I am better than you. Who can judge whether one person is better than another? If there’s anything I’ve learned in this life, we certainly don’t choose many circumstances that befall us in this world.

You are an amazing artist. You have reached me and beyond, for sure. Let’s both continue reaching higher and higher in life together.

Love you, Jude

My diary entry about Nancy in 1979.

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

ILLUSTRATING MY LIFE LESSONS THROUGH ART

April 15, 2010

BLOG TABLE OF CONTENTS

PERFUME MEDLEY – copyright by Judy Unger, 2009

WWW.JUDYUNGER.COM

My motto as an illustrator was always “whatever works.” For me, that meant through experimentation I developed many shortcuts and ways of doing things that gave me the result I was looking for. Most everything I have learned, from art to music, even to computers, has been self-taught. It might be interesting to know that although I was a professional illustrator, I lived without creative passion for over twenty years. Initially, I used to contemplate beautiful portfolio paintings that I could create for my commercial portfolio. However, that stopped once I became an established illustrator. Over time, my illustrations simply became technical exercises for me. I was grateful for a career that allowed for me to create my own schedule. That flexibility was very helpful while raising my children.

An early watercolor done while learning the technique in college.

An early watercolor done while learning the technique in college.

When I was younger, I did not have enough life experience to really connect with other people through writing. I certainly did not have the confidence to pursue any of my dreams of sharing music. However, I have always pursued my dreams as an artist. It started when I was very young. As a child, I remember my own mother telling me that being an artist was a wonderful career to have as a mother. I was in preschool when a teacher told my mother that I had artistic talent. From that time forward, both my parents nurtured it. I didn’t have any expensive art lessons. My parents simply provided me with materials and art projects that I enjoyed. I was a consummate “paint-by-numbers” artist. I remember patiently completing such an elaborate “doodle art” poster of fish, which still hangs on the wall of my old bedroom.

One of the few drawings I’ve done, which I find interesting.

When I was around ten-years-old, I became such a perfectionist that it became painful for me. I remember I would draw only one line, decide it wasn’t quite right, and then crumple the paper up. I went through many, many reams of paper. At that time, I decided that being an artist was frustrating and not much fun at all.

It was ironic that I was an artist who hated drawing. Though sketching was very frustrating, tracing came easily for me. And then there was an exception about drawing. I could easily draw mazes. My post about my mazes is at: #44 MY AMAZING JOURNEY. 

I published my maze book at the age of fourteen and I dedicated it to the math teacher who had encouraged me. I didn’t make any significant amount of money from my “Maze Book,” but it was a great achievement in my young life. 

After my book was published, I didn’t create mazes much anymore. In high school, I turned all of my attention from art to music. I stopped doing most artwork except for the enjoyable renderings that impressed my biology teachers. It wasn’t until I discovered watercolors in college, that art became part of my life again. I decided to become an illustrator after I took two, illustration classes as an undecided major in college. My first, paid illustration assignment resulted from one of those classes. The instructor had given our class an assignment for a medical magazine publisher. In 1980, my illustration was chosen for the cover of a medical magazine specializing in cardiology and I received $400.

My very first illustration in college for which I was paid $400.

How was it possible for me to be a mom, a wife, a daughter, and still have a successful illustration career? That is a very good question!

It is absolutely true that I was painting while my infant daughter was nursing at my breast.

I was illustrating after Jason died. Sometimes my tears would drop down onto my artwork. I always cover everything to prevent spills when I’m working. Sometimes, it was my own tears that spilled onto my work.

I began illustrating after I graduated with my Bachelors in Art 2-D from California State University, Northridge in 1981.

After I graduated, I developed a commercially oriented portfolio and within a few months I had some small assignments come my way. My first breakthrough assignment was an advertisement for a national product. I had one week to create a painting for which I was paid a significant sum of money. It was a lot of pressure for me and I experienced tremendous anxiety. I hardly slept that week. 

I learned a valuable lesson about deadlines in my field when I realized there was always time left over for revisions if the client was unhappy. I never took an assignment with a deadline I could not meet. There were revisions on my first, big job, but I still managed to pull it off. When my painting was printed in the coupon section of the Sunday newspaper, it was very thrilling for me.

My first, big job.

Gradually, I received more and more assignments. Later on, I had several agents representing me in major cities of the country. I was usually busy working on one assignment, with several others waiting for me when my current job was completed. 

For over two decades, I continued to produce my paintings. I was prolific and accomplished with my technique. Even so, there were always those occasional “nightmare projects.” I remember each one clearly and learned lessons from all of them. I was not so arrogant as to assume that my work was pleasing to everyone.

About six years ago, my career began to gradually fade away. When my parents became my responsibility, I was able to devote myself full-time to their care. All of my advocacy exhausted me, and I was fully into Zombieland. I was ready to let go of that additional pressure.

Because everyone was using computers already, the demand for a “quick turn-around was even greater. Prices were already half of what they used to be. Eventually, there were seldom calls for custom assignments. In the past, I used to have assignments waiting for me for as long as six months. 

I appreciated that I could devote more energy to my family, especially my parents. I figured it was “meant to be.”

“Idealism and Photorealism”

My motto as an illustrator has always been “whatever works.” But my paintings always started out as a way to match a color and/or texture that was on my photo-reference.

I always say that the irony of my career is that:

I started out making paintings look like photos,

and now I’m taking photos to make them look like paintings!

When people look at my paintings, they often think they are photographs. My technique has always involved using photos as reference. However, they are still paintings.

Later on, I will share more about my own “rules of illustrating.” One rule that I have (remember, this is my rule only) is:

There is nothing wrong with tracing.

The reason that my subject matter gravitated from doing medical magazine covers to food and flowers is quite simple. I have easy accessibility to photo reference for food and flowers.

My greatest challenge has been illustrating something I cannot look at or photograph. I have become quite resourceful in creating reference photography for myself. That is another area that I look forward to sharing.

One of the ways I like to view my paintings is not to say they are “photorealistic.” I prefer to call them “idealistic.” I want my fruit to be perfect; the ideal. As I’ve developed my paintings, sometimes I’ve gone more toward including blemishes on fruit – I’ve made them less idealistic!

Perhaps that’s because it feels just like me. I am older and more blemished, too.

DESSERT MEDLEY – copyright by Judy Unger, 2009

“Transparency is my ideal in creating colors”

Working transparently vs. opaquely is basically the difference between having colors that are “clear” vs. those that cover other colors and can be mixed with white paint. In my later years, I have often gone to a more opaque method to create unique textures. It is subtle, and is generally not used throughout much of my painting.

I prefer transparency with color, and utilize transparent painting even when using opaque mediums. That means that I glaze with acrylics when I use them.

Transparent color was always my ideal. Transparent color is a lot like looking through stained glass windows. Each veil of color subtlety alters the color it overlays. The most brilliant white is achieved by leaving the paper white. I always preferred painting transparently and my favorite medium was water-based dyes. Even when I used opaque mediums, I still worked transparently. That meant I glazed when using acrylics; painting with thin washes of color instead of thick gobs of paint.

“Taking stock of my situation”

Well, the fates have allowed my career to be there for me throughout many of my “trials and tribulations.” However, with the advent of computers and stock illustration – the demand for illustration has been “phased out.” I knew things were serious when most of the artist representatives gave up their businesses first. Then, 90% of the agencies I used to work with closed. After that, there were fewer and fewer artists surviving only on illustration assignments.

As stressful as illustrating was for me at times, I have loved the entire process. It has been an artistic journey of self-discovery from the very beginning. I finally reached a pinnacle of mastery over the watercolor and marker technique. And then it was all over!

There was no avoiding becoming digital any more because now I had a lot of time on my hands. I knew I definitely had to figure out how to use the computer for my artwork. The process took years and years, and I didn’t rush it. I started off very slowly.

When I hold a stylus, it has not replaced the feeling of a paintbrush. I can look at my thumb to see a very large callus from all the painting I used to do. I hardly ever hold a paintbrush anymore. I still have a large callus on my other thumb from the years when I played classical guitar.

I create beautiful artwork, but my hands are not that attractive. Unfortunately, I do bite my nails!

Even though I utilize the computer for illustrating now, I do not create paintings that are “totally from scratch” on my computer. I combine elements of prior paintings, as well as photography. I create an image on my computer that I am satisfied with. After that, I create a light print upon rag watercolor paper, upon which I overlay watercolor washes, as well as sometimes acrylic, and colored pencil.

This has been exciting for me in two ways. First of all, I dislike sketching and drawing. My print version helps to set my “road map” in place. Second, I have a great idea of how my final version will look. I have solved all the composition issues.

When I used to create a painting, there was a lot of stress related to uncertainty about the best possible composition. With my computer, I can know exactly what is the best placement for every ingredient. It also helps that I can instantly share this with my clients.

Ironically, the computer has been wonderful, while at the same time decimating the need for an illustrator like me.

However, with age and the resulting changes in my vision, I appreciate how much less stress it has been utilizing the computer. I do miss holding a paintbrush, however, now that I’m fifty I can honestly say that it’s a lot easier to see the close up pixels on a computer – rather than squinting through those damn reading glasses.

I now have what I deem a “library of images” for my medley of ingredients. I certainly have a lot of work over the past twenty-eight years to literally “draw from.” Using my scanner, touch up skills, and intuition, I’ve put in thousands of hours to create my “library of images.”

While I created my library, I wondered whether it was worth it or whether it would pay off. It didn’t matter, because now that I’ve done it – I’ve learned all the skills I needed to for mastery of the computer. I receive a lot of requests for images, and my hundreds of stock images are available for sale internationally on the web. Also, any royalties from stock can continue indefinitely; the work is all done, which is nice.

Unfortunately, illustration stock prices are ridiculously low and have not translated into any significant amount of income for me. All of my photographer friends understand this downward spiral of prices for stock. Paintings that were originally thousands of dollars, now sell for $10 on a stock image site. Sadly, some even sell for less than that.

My new way of looking at my paintings is to view them as a medley of ingredients; I deem my art “reconfigured illustrations.”

I still have the ability to quickly create custom work. Maybe someday, I’ll create new imagery. But I’ve always thrived on assignments. I’ve never felt like creating a painting for myself. When someone is willing to pay $7,000 for a painting, I am ready to create anything that will make my client happy.

An assignment is a project with perimeters. Those perimeters become my puzzle to solve. Without an assignment, there are too many possibilities for me. The challenge for me has always been to follow the structure and instructions I have been given. I want very much to please the art director and the hoard of numerous other people involved giving their opinions!

There was a very special evening where I was honored, which Jason attended shortly before he died. Every year, I entered the annual illustration contest for the Society of Illustrator’s of Los Angeles. That year, my favorite painting of a Snicker’s Bar won a gold medal in the unpublished category. I was often told my painting made art directors hungry and it was an excellent promotional piece for me. That night where I shared my excitement of that honor with my parents, husband, and Jason I would always remember.

It was so beautiful having Jason there to share my excitement of winning an illustration award.

When I began to about write my life, I shared a lot about my illustration career. It was very gratifying to know that even though my career faded, it was possible for me to resurrect it by sharing and writing about the experience. No longer had it simply disappeared into nothingness, and it had value in a different way than before. 

As an illustrator, I had a gift for creating any color I desired. I enjoyed the challenge of replicating areas of interesting textures that were on my reference photos. I also loved contrast and often used extreme dark and light whenever possible on my illustrations. I usually mixed many colors together to get dark shadows, rather than use black.

I love to add purple into shadow areas.

In fact, in order to achieve realism when working with my brightly colored dyes, it was important to dull colors down quite a bit. I remember well teaching a painting exercise for my illustration students utilizing complementary colors.

An orange was given an under-painting using green tones.

A banana was given an under-painting using purple tones.

Once the under-painting was done, the pure vibrant color could be painted over the under-painting as an overlay. It was a fun process to teach, because my students were so excited to see something come to life in front of their eyes.

I have probably illustrated more fruit than anything else.

I am now finding great insight into how applicable my art lessons are to my life as well.

If all colors are brilliant, nothing stands out. The brilliance is only possible through having the depth and richness of colors that have been mixed into subtle, dull variations. The same thing applies to contrast. The brilliance is only possible through having the depth and richness of darks and lights!

In life, we cannot have everything purely colorful or purely bright either. It is the contrast and the dullness that allows for appreciation of sparkling beauty; it allows for it to be emphasized!

I found great insight into how applicable my art lessons were to my life, as well. If all colors were brilliant, nothing in my painting stood out. The brilliance was only possible through having the depth and richness of many other colors mixed into subtle, dull variations. The same thing applied to contrast. The brilliance was only possible through having the depth and richness of darks and lights.

This was a metaphor for me because nothing in my life was ever purely colorful or purely bright. It was the contrast and the dullness that had allowed for my appreciation of the sparkling beauty that surrounded me.

I learned so many things by being an artist. I’ve never defined success as making a lot of money; I felt successful when I had my maze book published and I received very little money for it. I’ve had posters, prints and even towels with my work on it; those projects paid very little but I was very proud to see my work displayed. 

I never dreamed that I would pursue art as a career; I excelled in other areas besides art. But with dedication and commitment, my dream became a reality. I was very resourceful as an illustrator, and I enjoyed the many challenges I faced during my career. Seeing how much I improved was very gratifying. I went from being an artist who disliked drawing, to an artist who loved painting. I had tremendous satisfaction when I completed assignments that pleased my clients.

 

But I am far more passionate about my writing and music than I ever was about my artwork. Perhaps the difference is that I am not seeking to satisfy anyone other than myself. I might never have imagined I’d be a successful artist, but in contrast, I feel very positive that with my music and writing I will touch and heal many people. But most importantly, I have certainly healed myself.

© Judy Unger and http://www.myjourneysinsight.com 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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